What does a Relatively Healthy Relationship really look like?
Key Concepts often found in Relatively Healthy Relationships Might Include any or all of the following Characteristics.
According to AI, healthy relationships include key characteristics and/or behaviors such as:
Trust,
Respect,
Open communication,
Mutual support
Individuality
Shared decision-making
Honesty or Truthfulness,
A sense of Fairness,
Empathy,
Authenticity,
Growth
Compromise,
Individual independence,
Commitment,
Ability to resolve conflicts constructively ("us vs. the problem").
Responsibility,
Equality,
Independence,
Support,
A sense of Security,
Valuing each other,
Active Listening,
Encouragement,
Separate friendships,
Shared Decision-making,
Accountability,
And a Team Mindset. (Source).
How might some of the above characteristics help you have a Relatively Healthy Relationship?
If some of the above characteristics are missing; how might it impact your Relatively Healthy Relationship?
What Does all of This Mean?
Well, Let's Put it all Together Here:
Simplifying the larger question here -- about what is a healthy relationship made of -- furing the Pandemic, Johns Hopkins released a list of "12 Elements of Healthy Relationships".
This list included the following: (Source -- (By Molly Hutchison, Health Education Specialist, and Alyse Campbell, Gender Violence Prevention & Education Coordinator).)
"Communication. The way you talk with friends or partners is an important part of a relationship. Everyone involved should be able to communicate feelings, opinions, and beliefs. When communicating, consider tone and phrasing. Miscommunication often occurs when individuals choose to text versus talking in person or a phone call. Figuring out the best ways to express your feelings together will help eliminate miscommunication.
Boundaries. Boundaries are physical, emotional, and mental limits or guidelines a person sets for themselves which others need to respect. You and your partners or friends should feel comfortable in the activities you are doing together. All individuals involved should be respectful of boundaries. Whether it’s romantic, sexual, or platonic, consider what you want the relationship to look like and discuss it with the other(s).
Consent. Consent is important in all relationships. Consent is uncoerced permission to interact with the body or the life of another person. Coercion can look like pressure to do something, physical force, bargaining, or someone holding power over another to get what they want. Consent can look like asking about boundaries in relationships, actively listening to responses, and always respecting those boundaries.
Trust. Each person in the relationship should have confidence in one another. If you are questioning whether to trust someone, it may be important to communicate your feelings to them. Consider what makes you not trust someone. Is it something they did, or is it something you’ve experienced in other relationships?
Honesty. Honesty is important for communication. Each person within the relationship or friendship should have the opportunity to express their feelings and concerns. If you don’t feel comfortable being honest with someone, consider why and seek support if needed.
Independence. It’s important to have time to yourself in any relationship. Having opportunities to hang with others or time for self-care is important to maintain a healthy relationship. If you live with your partner(s) or friend(s), set up designated areas within your place where you can spend time alone.
Equality. Each person in the relationship should have an equal say in what’s going on. Listen to each other and respect boundaries.
Support. Each person in the relationship should feel supported. It’s important to have compassion and empathy for one another. In addition to supporting one another, it’s important to recognize your own needs and communicate boundaries around support.
Responsibility. Some days you may find you said something hurtful or made a mistake. Make sure to take responsibility for your actions and do not place the blame on your partner(s) or friend(s). Taking responsibility for your actions will further trust and honesty.
Healthy conflict. You may think conflict is a sign of an unhealthy relationship, but talking about issues or disagreements is normal. You won’t find a person that has the exact same interests, opinions, and beliefs as you; thus, at times disagreements may occur. Communicating your feelings and opinions while being respectful and kind is part of a healthy relationship.
Safety. Safety is the foundation of connection in a relationship. In order to set boundaries, communicate, and have fun, everyone must feel safe. If you do not feel safe to express your feelings, have independence, or anything else on this list, seek support using the resources below.
Fun. In addition to all these components, you should be enjoying the time you spend with others. Again, it’s important that your relationships promote your well-being and do not diminish it."
Also, another author suggests that the Seven Characteristics of Healthy Relationships include:
Accountability,
Support,
Safety,
Trust,
Honesty,
Respect
and Cooperation.
Finally, for one of the organizations that authored the "Equality Wheel" for prevention of Domestic Violence, included are the following concepts found in a Relatively Healthy Relationship:
"The Equality Wheel, developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project (DAIP) in Duluth, Minnesota, outlines elements of healthy, non-abusive relationships. These elements represent characteristics of relationships built on mutual respect and shared power, in contrast to the Power and Control Wheel which describes abusive behaviors.
The core of the wheel is Equality, surrounded by Non-Violence (emotional, physical, and sexual). The key elements, acting as the spokes, include:
Negotiation and Fairness: Finding solutions together, embracing change, and being willing to compromise.
Non-Threatening Behavior: Creating a safe environment for open expression and activity.
Respect: Listening without judgment, offering emotional support, and valuing opinions.
Trust and Support: Encouraging personal goals and respecting individuality in feelings, friendships, activities, and beliefs.
Honesty and Accountability: Taking responsibility for actions, acknowledging past violence (if applicable), admitting mistakes, and communicating truthfully.
Responsible Parenting: Collaborating on childcare and modeling non-violence for children.
Shared Responsibility: Fairly distributing tasks and making joint family decisions.
Economic Partnership: Making financial decisions together and ensuring mutual benefit from resources."
For more details and visual representations, you can consult the Gender-Neutral Equality Wheel PDF or the Equality Wheel on DC.gov. (Source).
Discussion Questions:
1. From all of the lists above, name 3 (or more) of the most prevalent characteristics that you have experienced in your relationships?
2. From all of the lists above, name 3 (or more) of the least prevalent characteristics that you have experienced in your relationships?
3. From the lists above, name the concepts that you would most like to experience in a Relatlively Healthy Relationship?
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