Verbal Abuse as a Form of Domestic Violence

What is Verbal Abuse?

  The HealthLine Website says the following about Verbal Abuse: "When someone repeatedly uses words to demean, frighten, or control someone, it's considered verbal abuse. ... Verbal and emotional abuse takes a toll (for sure!). It can sometimes escalate into physical abuse, too.   (Healthline also suggests that:) If you're being verbally abused, know that it's not your fault" (Source). 

Verbal Abuse Might Also be Described by Many People as: 

  "... blatantly offensive language designed to humiliate and gain power over another person. However, verbal abuse does not only assault us through spoken words. We read body language before we learn to speak, and our minds interpret body language into words that we internally hear, loud and clear. Behaviors unique to an individual and body language understood culture-wide can (also) translate to verbal abuse” (Source.).  

  So, Verbal Abuse is basically when we are abusing someone else using words or gestures or body language.  

Verbal Abuse can also "sound like name-calling, constantly correcting someone’s behavior or yelling at them, denouncing or demeaning someone.  It can also take the form of a prolonged silent treatment.

If this type of relationship sounds like something you’d never put up with, you’re not alone.  But is it possible that verbal abuse is happening right under your nose with your intimate partner and you don’t even recognize it when you do it (or when it is done to you)?

Yes, says Patricia Evans, author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship. In the more than two decades since she published her book, she says she’s counseled some 40,000 people about verbal abuse, many of whom didn’t even realize that what was happening to them by their partners was considered abuse.  She writes:

“They’re being put down constantly by a boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse.  These abusers are defining their reality for them.  Which is, in essence, insane.  But people who experience it may just start to think, ‘I’m an awful stupid person.’”  

(Dr. B Asks: Who defines your Reality anyway?) 

(It's also important to realize that Some times, people who do Verbal Abuse, might feel like it is not really abuse or like it is not really harmful to the victim or to the relationship.  

On the other hand...)

The effects of this self-worth tear-down tactic, combined with gaslighting statements like, “You’re being too sensitive” or “That never happened,” can be emotionally destructive for years to come, says Evans. “It can be worse than physical abuse. (She says): I know some [survivors] would rather get hit because things like bruises can heal.”

(Dr. B Asks: Have you ever had a relationship that included Verbal Abuse?  Were you the Aggressor or the Victim/Survivor in this situation -- or WERE you both Aggressor and Victim?  Have you ever known anyone who was being verbally abused?  Or have you ever witnessed a person being verbally abusive to their partner?  What did that feel like for you?  How did you React to this Abuse?  How did you manage it?) 

 

Is There a Pattern To the Verbal Abuse in your Relationship?

Not sure if what is happening here is verbal abuse?  In her book, Evans identifies 10 patterns that verbal abuse may take.  See if one or more sound familiar to you.

• 1. It happens behind closed doors. Interactions that upset, confuse or hurt the survivor rarely occur in public. Even if there are people in the home, writes Evans, the abuser will often make sure to only threaten or put down their partner when they’re alone. Furthermore, Evans says “going public” with verbal abuse is “usually a sign of escalation and/or impending physical abuse.” 

(Dr. B Asks: Have you ever felt publicly Humiliated by a Partner in front of someone who's view of you is important?  How did that make you feel?)

• 2. It (sometimes) comes out of nowhere. Verbal abuse may occur repeatedly when the survivor feels like everything is fine in the relationship.

(Dr. B Asks: Have you ever been blind-sided by negative comments from your Partner?  What did that feel like?)

• 3. It (sometimes) happens when the (victim) or survivor is visibly happy.  Or, the survivor may be showing enthusiasm or may be gaining success in some area of life, such as a career.

(Dr. B Asks: In terms of Power and Control and/or the Power Dynamic; Why might an abuser feel a need to put someone down who appears to be feeling successful or happy at the moment?)

• 4. It (may) start to feel familiar. “The abuse may seem like a re-occurring incident manifested in different ways,” writes Evans, like one woman who said that whenever she expressed a thought, her abuser would argue against it. He would always treat her as the enemy.

(Dr. B Says:  Perhaps sometimes the victim gets used to the abuse and stops responding to it -- because it is something they would rather forget perhaps...  What might happen after that?  What might happen if the Victim started to treat the Perpetrator as the Enemy?)

• 5. The abuser (sometimes) puts down his or her partner’s interests.  Making sure to always show disdain for something an abuser’s partner shows interest in is yet another pattern (that) verbal abuse can take, says Evans.

(Dr. B Asks: Why do I have to have a problem with something she enjoys?  Why would an abuser feel an urge to do this?  Could it be insecurity or jealousy?  Or just a naked fear of losing his or her partner to something or someone else?  Not that any one answer here would make it okay to do this sort of thing.  But its good to try and understand it.)  

• 6. After the verbal abuse, the abuser (sometimes) does not seek reconciliation (e.g., The Abuser does not apologize).  The abuser doesn’t try to apologize and may (even) say "there’s nothing to talk about" when confronted about his or her treatment of the other partner.

(Dr. B Asks: Someone might ask: "Why are you so abusive to your wife (or to your husband)?  The response might be that this is not abuse."  Or they might say, "I wouldn't do it if she or he didn't deserve it."  How does that work?  How could make any sense at all - particularly when speaking about someone who the abuser more than likely will insist that he or she loves?  This Tactic Seems a little bit like Minimization, Denial and Blame -- that's a common DV Tactic.)

• 7. Between incidents, the relationship (sometimes, at first) seems normal. Before and after the interactions that involve verbal put-downs, a survivor may feel like their relationship was really OK because things seem(ed) to be functioning well.

(Dr. B Asks: Some people might get used to being verbally abused -- largely because it might NOT include physical abuse at first.  It's important to know that this doesn't mean that Verbal Abuse is without harm to others.  Or perhaps some Victim(s) might even believe that put-downs are valid and that they really are the person that their abuser says they are.  And some might even think that this is the Abuser's way of showing attention and that it means that they love her or him.)

• 8. The survivor (often) feels isolated. “Many partners experience a growing sense of isolation, especially from their own families or friends,” writes Evans.

(Dr. B Asks: When thinking about it: What are some reasons why a victim of this sort of Abuse might find herself or himself more and more isolated as time goes by?  Could it be that her or his family just can't watch it any more?  Or could it be that she's terribly embarrassed?  Or perhaps she believes she is supposed to be isolated.  Maybe she believes the Abuser is correct.)

• 9. The abuser (sometimes insists that or she knows Reality, and hence) defines his or her partner, their relationship, and most often, the interactions (Themselves).  By this, Evans means the abuser (often) defines the above in a way that is very different from how the abuser’s partner has experienced things.  (For example:) An abuser with an explosive temper, (might) say that he or she is easygoing.  Or, the abuser who continually picks on his or her partner may say that the (Victim or) survivor is always trying to start a fight. 

(Dr. B Asks: This might be like a Passive-Aggressive Abuser, no?  They abuse the victim; but they blame it on the victim.)

• 10. The survivor (or the Victim) (often) doesn’t use verbally abusive language when talking to her or his partner.  Partners who are constantly blamed and confused by verbal abuse might be surprised to realize they have never said (to someone else), nor would think of saying, what is frequently being said to them.  (They've never said to their partner) Examples (like): “You’re stupid,” “How dumb are you?”, “You’re not wearing that,” or “Do what I asked or I’ll get a divorce.”

(Dr. B Asks: Think about it: Why would a victim or survivor of Verbal Abuse want to speak in such a hurtful way - especially knowing how badly it hurts them when it is done to them?  Or is it possible that that Victim might be afraid to strike back due to a very real fear of retaliation?) 

  Dr. B says Please NOTE: It is important to consider the fact that Verbal abuse and Emotional abuse are often intricately linked.  Furthermore, different types of verbal abuse are also used along with other types of abuse (Physical and others).  In other words, Verbal Abuse is often used as a Tactic when someone is trying to commit some other form of Domestic Violence.

  Or possibly, Verbal Abuse is often part of the method for carrying out another type of abuse.  For example: If a person is going to try and make his partner feel bad about herself; then he might choose to use words in order to make this happen.  And those words would possibly constitute Verbal Abuse.  This could be like when one partner tells the other partner who happens to think they are overweight... "Hey, you ought to stop eating so much."  Whereas the long-term effects of this type of abuse could be to make the victim feel bad about herself / his-self -- which could constitute Psychological or Emotional Abuse.  But it was executed Verbally.

  Also consider that there are probably short-term effects and long-term effects of Verbal Abuse as well.  There is also probably a Private Impact of Verbal Abuse on the Victim; as well as a more Public Impact on the Victim.  And then there is also the possibility of effects on other levels, such as Social, Cognitive, Emotional, Financial, etc..  For example, due to this verbal abuse, this victim might always be spending money to lose weight to look better for their partner -- when in fact, they might not even be overweight).  

If any of these resonate with you in your own relationship, consider talking to someone, like a trained domestic violence advocate or a therapist who specializes in domestic violence, to learn more about what you’re going through."  (Source.)

What kind of experiences have you had with this type of Abuse?        

Exercise: Consider these Common Types, or Properties of Domestic Violence (Question: How many of these might commonly include Verbal Abuse as a Tactic?):

• Physical and Sexual Violence (outer ring) (Click her to View the Videos.)
• Using Intimidation
• Using Emotional Abuse
• Using Isolation
• Minimizing, Denying and Blaming
• Using Children
• Using Male Privilege
• Using Economic Abuse
• Using Coercion and Threats  (Source.)

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         Verbal Abuse and DV Worksheet. *** 

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See the LINK Below.  Thank you.  And have a nice day.

     

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(Originally Posted Feb. 2021).

Sources for this Entry and About Verbal Abuse:      

From: “10 Patterns of Verbal Abuse: This form of abuse can be harder to recognize than you may think” (September 23, 2016 By domesticshelters.org.  Patricia Evans, author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship).

https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheels/understanding-power-control-wheel/#outerring  

https://www.google.com/url?q=http://hope4dv.org/what-is-domestic-violence/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mysteries-love/201707/5-signs-your-partner-may-no-longer-be-right-you

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mysteries-love/201503/15-common-forms-verbal-abuse-in-relationships

https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2012/04/things-verbal-abusers-say-and-do

https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/10-patterns-of-verbal-abuse

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/what-is-verbal-abuse

Text above Edited from original Text, by Verbal Abuse in Relationships (Edited by Dr. Beverly, Jan. 2018)

 

.

It Really is all About Power and Control, Right? What would you do if...?

Think about it: What would you do if???  How might you feel???  What would you need???  What you gonna do when???  What would you think if???

 -- What would you do if you came home and your partner was not there when they said they would be there -- and they did not show up for about an hour or so -- with no explanation?  What would you think?

-- What would you say if your partner became angry over something they thought you said or did and they then proceeded to call you every name in the book?  What would you think?

-- What would you feel if your partner told you that they were thinking about giving up on the relationship with you because they were not feeling like you loved them enough or in the right way(s)?  What would you think?

-- What would you want if your partner refused to carry their fair load around the house or in the workplace or with the kids -- or worse still; was constantly bitter toward you in front of the kids -- calling you names -- putting you down -- although you work 3 jobs to help keep them all sheltered, fed and clothed?  What would you feel?

-- What would you need if your partner told a really big lie and the proof was sitting right there in front of you.  And when you confronted them about it; they said it was "none of your darn business!"???

  Chances are, Domestic Violence has been occurring in various places around the Planet for millennia.  Consequently, there are numerous ideas about how DV starts, what DV is about, why it happens, how it builds up, and what it leads to.  However, no single set of ideas related to the various properties of DV has more credibility among DV Offender Treatment Providers and DV Victim Advocates than the Power and Control Wheels as developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project in Duluth, Minnesota, some decades ago.

Click here for Videos about the Power and Control Wheels and how it all works together.

  One might explain the Power and Control Dynamic in the following way:  In many cases, the primary component is one choosing in a split second or over time to try and use power to try and gain control over something or someone in the relationship; or it is one choosing in a split second or over time to try and use control to try and gain power over something or someone in the relationship.
  These wheels provide a very brief, and easy-to-comprehend set of behaviors that tend to lead to, constitute, or end in Domestic Violence.  Please see these wheels below:
The Power and Control Wheel provides substance for a proscriptive backbone for interventions for Domestic Violence Prevention.

Click here to view a modified Power and Control Wheel.

The Equality Wheel provides substance for a prescriptive pathway toward Domestic Violence Prevention.

Click here to view the Equality Wheel.

The Duluth Model Explained

Please Tell Us About Your Experience Studying of The Power & Control Wheel and The Equality Wheel.

Please Click Here to Complete your 

"It Is All About Power and Control, Right?" Worksheet!

(Originally Posted 4/20/2021)

Want to Successfully Complete your DV Treatment and your Probation? Okay, 1st things First.

Avoid the Stormy Weather in the NO-Pay Zone...

Follow the Instructions Below TO MAKE YOUR PAYMENTS!

 Go to "Dr. B's DV Prevention and Education Blog"

   A. Scroll to the bottom of your cell phone screen.

   B. Tap where it says, "View Web Version".

   C. You will see the Paypal / Debit / Credit Card Buttons in the Top-Right Corner of your screen.

   D. Use your fingers to navigate to make your payments with your Card.  And MAKE your payment.)

   E. If you must mail in your payment, do not mail cash.  Only mail Money Orders and/or Checks.  (There is an extra $35 fee if a Check Bounces). Mail your Check or Money Order to Dr. Beverly at P.O. box 871, Walsenburg, CO 81089.  *(Payments are not counted unless they are received).

  --- But Always Keep In Mind: it's a whole lot easier if you just pay as you go.

  Questions: Text Dr. B. at 719-671-7793 or email him at nepeht@gmail.com.  Thank you.

If You Have an Unpaid Balance, Start Paying Today or Risk Falling Behind!!! (Payment Instructions Below!)

  Please don't risk an Unsuccessful Discharge from DV Treatment.  

  That's what can happen if you finish all your DV Sessions; but you have not been paying every week and end up with an unpaid Balance.  

  Make payments every week and avoid this risk of Unsuccessful Discharge from DV Treatment!!!  

  Pay your balance today or make payments every week.  

  It is your choice. But you don't want to  get left behind; right.  

NOTE: If your balance is not paid you will not successfully complete DV treatment.  

  See payment instructions (linked below) or look for the PayPal debit credit links to the Right of the page you are on right now.  (Just scroll to the bottom of your screen and tap on "View Web Version" and you will see the PayPal / Debit / Credit Buttons on the Right side of your screen.)

   

  Meanwhile you can easily calculate your balance by adding up your number of attended sessions; multiply that number by $35 each.  Then add in your $100 intake evaluation fee; Then subtract the value of your used Voucher and Payments from that number.  That will give you your current Balance Due.

  Regardless of what you think your Balance is, you should be paying for sessions every week -- pay as you go.

GO HERE TO The Link Below TO MAKE YOUR PAYMENTS!

   Dr. B's DV Prevention and Education Blog

 (If when you hit the link (above), you do not see the Paypal / Debit / Credit Buttons in the upper - right-hand corner; then do this:

   A. Scroll to the bottom of your cell phone screen. 

   B. Tap where it says, "View Web Version". 

   C. You will see the Paypal / Debit / Credit Card Buttons in the Top-Right Corner of your screen. 

   D. Use your fingers to navigate to make your payments with your Card.  And MAKE your payment.)

   E. If you must mail in your payment, do not mail cash.  Only mail Money Orders and/or Checks.  (There is an extra $35 fee if a Check Bounces). Mail your Check or Money Order to Dr. Beverly at P.O. box 871, Walsenburg, CO 81089.  *(Payments are not counted unless they are received). 

  --- But Always Keep In Mind: it's a whole lot easier if you just pay as you go. 

  Questions: Text Dr. B. at 719-671-7793 or email him at nepeht@gmail.com.  Thank you.

(NOTE: "In Section 5.04, 2, B, Item 9, says: "The offender paying for his/her own evaluation and treatment is an indicator of responsibility and shall be incorporated in the treatment plan..."  This means that if a DV Client does not have a Voucher from Probation; she or he must pay Dr. Beverly for her or his own Treatment.  

  This also means that Dr. Beverly, cannot and will not successfully discharge any DV Clients who has an outstanding Balance.")

(Originally Posted 1/20/22). 

Using Our Virtues to Help Prevent Domestic Violence

   This week we are going to discuss how our Virtues can help prevent Domestic Violence Type Thinking, DV Type Feeling, and DV Type Behaviors.  

   Virtues are that which we do in order to see that our values are realized.  We do Virtues in order to maintain our Values.  This begs the question: What is a Virtuous Person?  A Virtuous Person is a person who tends to think and behave in ways that help maintain his or her personal Value System.

What are Virtues? 

Virtue can also be defined as: 

• “The quality or practice of moral excellence or righteousness.
• A particular moral excellence: the virtue of tolerance” (Dictionary.com)

  Virtues tend to come in sets.  For example: Some "Christian" Virtues include: Prudence (or wisdom), Justice (or fairness), Temperance (meaning restriction or restraint of self), Courage (or fortitude), Faith, Hope, Charity (or Love).   Other virtues might include: Patience, Honor, Accountability, Humility, Curiosity, Cooperation, Respect & Honesty.  

  Other sets of Virtues might be found in various other Religions, as well as in certain cultures, and certain professions, as well as in other grouping categories.

A Deeper Look at Virtues:

"Virtue (Latin: virtus) is moral excellence. A virtue is a trait or quality that is deemed to be morally good and thus is valued as a foundation of principle and good moral being. Personal virtues are characteristics valued as promoting collective and individual greatness. In other words, it is a behavior that shows high moral standards. Doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong. The opposite of virtue is vice, another example of this notion is merit.

The four classic cardinal virtues in Christianity are temperance, prudence, courage (or fortitude), and justice. Christianity derives the three theological virtues of faith, hope and love (charity) from 1 Corinthians 13. Together these make up the seven virtues" (Source).

Hence, the seven Christian Virtues are Temperance, Prudence, Courage, Justice/Fairness, Faith, Hope, and Love (Charity).   Any given set of beliefs quite possibly has its own values and virtues.

 "The development of virtue has a historical association as an alchemical process, wherein the internal virtues that we associate with the mind are integratively understood as the minerals that give us also the healthy biological structure of our bodies and externally the planet as a whole" (Source).

  In other words, if we have Values that believe in Good things; and if we hold true to our Values and we exercise our Values through our Virtues, then our physical beings and even our World might theoretically benefit.  Look at it this way: If I act in a Virtuous way, then it is likely, that I will have less negative stress.  Hence, I might be healthier.  And furthermore, it is possible that a healthier me could somehow encourage or facilitate a healthier Planet.

Virtues and Values

  Keep In Mind: Our Virtues are the Attitudes, Ways of Thinking and our Behaviors that help keep our Values in tact.  In other words, "Values are the guiding principles of our lives. They are essential for positive human behavior and actions in our daily lives. They are formed on the basis of interests, choices, needs, desires and preferences. They have played an important role not only in sociology, but also in psychology, anthropology and other related disciplines." (Source.)  

  Our Values are also possibly influenced by our Religious Beliefs and Experiences, our Education, our Career Paths, and our Social Groups, our Socio-Economic Status, our Teachers, our Mentors, our Cultures, our Subcultures, our Peers, our Friends, our Neighbors, our Minds, and our Families.  (And possibly even influenced by our Enemies, as well).  

  Also, it is worth noting for example, how these concepts meet the road.  One example can be found on this "Families of Character" website, which states that instilling certain Virtues into ourselves and into our children helps enable families to thrive.  You can view their list at this link (Families of Character.com). 

  We are only discussing a few of the many virtues here and/or the numerous groupings of virtues -- as they apply to Domestic Violence; and more so, how they apply to prevention of Domestic Violence.  In other words: Which Virtues could best help prevent Domestic Violence?

Virtues and Domestic Violence Theory: 

  It is widely believed and practiced in Domestic Violence Offender Intervention that the object of Treatment is to help a person learn how to live a lifestyle that is more in-line with the properties on the Equality Wheel; rather than in-line with the properties on the Power and Control Wheel.  

  The Properties on the Equality Wheel -- In Contrast with the Properties of the Power and Control Wheel -- include the following as contrasted with, or followed by its Power and Control Wheel Counterpart: 

• Non-Threatening Behavior; rather than using Intimidation
• Respect; rather than using Emotional Abuse
• Trust & Support; rather than using Isolation, Insecurity and Jealousy
• Honesty & Accountability; rather than using Minimization, Denial and Blame
• Responsible Parenting; rather than Using Children (as weapons against the other)
• Shared Responsibility; rather than using Male (or Female) Privilege
• Economic Partnership; rather than using Economic Abuse
• Negotiation & Fairness; rather than using Coercion and Threats

Think about It: What does each Virtue look like in the Practice of Preventing DV?

  What's say we look at a list of hand-picked Virtues that are perhaps more reflective of Prevention of Domestic Violence Feeling, Thinking and Behavior and try to Imagine ways that each Virtue could help us prevent Domestic Violence - Type Thinking, Feeling or Behavior:

• Prudence (or wisdom)
• Justice (or fairness)
• Temperance (Ability to Stop one's self)
• Courage (or fortitude)
• Faith 
• Hope 
• Charity / Altruism 
• Love of Humanity / Realizing Nobody's Perfect; and Everybody's Perfect
• Patience 
• Honor 
• Accountability
• Humility
• Curiosity / Being willing to Learn and to Change for the Better.
• Cooperation / Teamwork / One for all and all for one.
• Forgiveness / Letting go of resentment / Moving forward.
• Respect (Respect of Other and of Self).
• Creativity / Flexibility / Spontaneity 
• Honesty / Truthfulness
• Resilience
• Compassion
• Industriousness / Hard Work
• Stick-to-it-iveness
• Clear-Mindedness / Clear Thinking / Critical Thinking (Ability to think and recognize my own biases at the same time.  And to make decisions in an objective manner)
• Sobriety

  For a moment now, consider the possibility, that our Virtues may not be very effective if we don't practice them.  

  Not practicing our Virtues, yet claiming we do, might be called --  "Virtue Signaling".

  On the other hand, if we are fully practicing our Virtues, hopefully in time, we will be better able to prioritize them and much better able to use them in the service of maintaining our Values, which in turn could make us better citizens of the Earth.  

  Whereas for each person, the priority of their Virtues can be different.  In other words, a person could be batting 1000 on a certain virtue; while striking out on a number of other Virtues.  In other words, a person could be really good at the Virtue of Stick-to-it-iveness, hence they stick around forever, even when they are not wanted.  Yet they might be poor at the Virtues of Flexibility or Compassion or Humility, which might have enabled them to leave when it was time to leave.

  Consider the possibility of a sense of Homeostasis of Virtues.  "Homeostasis is a healthy state maintained by constant adjustment."  Homeostasis is also about the idea that there is a natural balance to things.  Or basically the idea that sometimes, things seem to be self-healing.  

   Think about it, if one falls drastically short on one Virtue, their use of other virtues might possibly make up for the short-fall.  Or if one goes way too far out on a limb with a certain Virtue that she or he feels is really important; they might eventually find that they have been neglecting other important Virtues in the meantime.  

  Remember: In some cases; Knowing, Understanding, and Appreciating a Virtue; does not necessarily yield as Precious of a result as does Practicing a Virtue.  And it could also be the other way around at times.

  In other words, in some ways, the overall weight of one's Virtues might serve to outweigh the sum of the parts of all of one's Virtues as a Whole.  For example, the WHOLE of a given person's Virtues might impress everyone to the point of being beyond falling short due to lacking in one or some of their other Virtues.  So a person might be a really hard-worker and provider; but lack humility when it comes to admitting his or her faults.  

  Further, it is important to consider the probability that any given Virtue could manifest as a double-edged sword.  And so mishaps are always possible.  In other words, too much of one thing... even a good thing, can be dangerous at times.  

  Meanwhile, the diverse inventory and eventual total mass of a given person's sum of Virtues might well be an accurate indicator of her or his Character.  

  And a person's Character could possibly impact a person's ability to function in a healthy way, non-violently, and with Respect in Relationships.

  Always remember: Never get caught while looking for a reward for being virtuous.  Why?  Because Virtues pay for themselves in the long run.

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complete your Virtues Worksheet. ***  

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(c. 2022-2024, All information on the Blog (Except where otherwise noted); are the intellectual and/or photographic and/or digital property of Dr. William T. Beverly, L.C.S.W., DVOMB Approved Offender Treatment Provider.)

Want to Learn More about Virtues and Character Strengths?

  Go here: https://www.viacharacter.org/

(Originally Posted, 12/14/2020).

Sources:  

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtue

https://www.gktoday.in/gk/human-values-in-ethics/

https://www.familiesofcharacter.com/devblog10809/2018/3/21/what-are-the-40-virtues-full-list

Charatacter Strengths are also important.