The Domestic Violence Treatment Progress Assessment (or the D.V.T.P.A.): Great Practice for Successfully Completing DV Treatment

   There are some Important Questions that a person should be able to answer in a meaningful way when they are ready to Discharge from DV Treatment.

  This exercise is intended to help you figure out what else you need to know about in order to Complete DV Treatment.  Please Note: Studying and Completing the attached Worksheet does not mean that you are ready for Discharge.  More so, this is an Exercise to help You and Your Treatment Provider determine when you could be ready for Discharge.

  There are two Parts.  One part is the DV Treatment Progress Assessment (DVTPA).  This instrument helps You and Your Treatment Provider get an idea of Your Progress in Treatment.

  The second Part of this Process is the Aftercare Plan in which one assesses their current state of being in terms of Healthy Relationships and/or possibility of never again having Domestic Violence in his or her life.  Then one makes a plan for how they are going to remain free of DV in the future; as well as remain free of the negative effects of any potential Risk Factors in their lives.  

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TREATMENT PROGRESS ASSESSMENT (DVTPA):

Some Treatment Progress Assessment Items are as follows:

POSSIBLE CHALLENGES To Successfully Completing DV Treatment: (Have you found that your Treatment Progress has been negatively impacted by any of these (or other) potential challenges?):

1. "Not Accountable with community supervision and treatment conditions
2. Using alcohol or illicit drugs
3. Not maintaining stable employment
4. Not maintaining stable living arrangements
5. Not Compliant with psychiatric and medical recommendations
6. Hostility
7. Stalking dynamics/obsession with the victim
8. Suicidal/Homicidal"

 

Competency Areas to Master.  (Think about these Competency Areas.  Where do you stand within the Context of your Treatment, and in terms of Your Treatment Progress?):     

  Keep in mind: Someone might believe that Mastering a competency here means he or she does not ever have to visit it again; or does not have anything else to learn about Healthy Relationships or Preventing DV.  But that's not necessarily true.  Because each new Relationship is going to be different -- Regardless of whether or not it's a Romantic Relationship.  A wise person will be revisiting and gaining new insights into ideas like this possibly for the rest of their life.

1.  "Actively participates in treatment.

2.  Confronts (and/or Supports) others appropriately in group.

3.  Commitment to elimination of abusive behavior.

4.  Eliminates manipulative behavior.

5.  Completes personal change plan drafts and Final Version.

6.  Demonstrates and Acknowledges development of empathy for the Victim.

7.  Accepts full responsibility for offense and abusive behavior.

        *Denial Level (If applicable)

8.  Understands pattern of power and control issues.

9.  Does not view themselves as the victim.

10.  Accepts consequences of abusive behavior.

11.  Challenges cognitive distortions.

12.  Define types of violence.

13.  Identifies & manages personal pattern of violence.

14.  Understanding of inter-generational effects of violence.

15.  Uses appropriate, respectful & effective communication skills.

16.  Offender understands and uses “time-out” & Stop, Breathe & Focus Techniques.

17.  Recognizes financial responsibility.

18.  Not engaging in any known forms of violence & abuse.

19.  Understands distorted view of self, others & relationships.

20. Identifies chronic abusive beliefs about victim and thought patterns that support abusive behavior

21.  Uses pro-social community supports.

22.  Understands cycle of violence.

23. Positive parenting skills with children. (living with biological children)

24. Demonstrates appropriate interaction with children and partner in a co-parenting or step-parenting situation (Client a step-parent or visiting parent)

25.  Understands healthy sexual behaviors & consent."

STRENGTHS: (How are you regarding the following Strengths?):

• "Pro-Social Friends
• Social Activity
• Spirituality
• Happiness
• Creativity
• Fun Time/Hobbies
• Health"

(Davies & Associates)

Another part of this is understanding the basic Principles of Equality in Relationship:

• Trust and Support:  Supporting her/his goals in life. Respecting her/his right to her/his own feelings, friends, activities, and opinions. 

• Respect: Listening to her/his non-judgmentally.  Being emotionally affirming and understanding.  Valuing her/his opinions.  This term essentially means valuing each others points of views. It means being open to being wrong. It means accepting people as they are.  It means not dumping on someone because you're having a bad day.  It means being polite and kind always, because being kind to people is not negotiable.  It means not dissing people because they're different to you.  It means not gossiping about people or spreading lies.

• Negotiation and Fairness: Seeking mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict.  Accepting changes.  Being willing to compromise.

• Responsible Parenting: Sharing parental responsibilities.  Being a positive, nonviolent role model for the children.

• Non-Threatening Behavior: Talking and acting so that she feels safe and comfortable expressing her/his-self and doing things.

• Shared Responsibility: Mutually agreeing on a fair distribution of work.  Making family decisions together.

• Economic Partnership: Making money decisions together.  Making sure both partners benefit from financial arrangements.

• Honesty and Accountability: Accepting responsibility for self.  Acknowledging past use of violence. Admitting being wrong. Communicating openly and truthfully.

The Third Part of this process if keeping an Ongoing Personal Change Plan:

• Am I ready to Make Changes in my mind that would allow for me agreeing to this?   I hereby commit to eliminate abusive behavior; which includes the use of physical intimidation or violence, coercion, emotional, verbal or economic abuse, or psychological cruelty toward my spouse, partner and/or children.  If I do behave abusively in the future, I consider it my responsibility to report the behaviors honestly to my friends, relatives, probation officer or other interested party who will hold me accountable.

• Am I ready to Make Changes and Make Room for this?  The way I am going to prevent abusive behavior of any kind is by:

• Am I ready to Make Changes and Make Room for this?  The way I am going to change my thinking so my thoughts and behaviors will be healthy is by:

• Am I ready to Make Changes and Make Room for this?  If I realize I am in danger of becoming abusive I will do the following:

The Fourth Part of this Process is Aftercare Planning:  

AFTERCARE PLANNING is the act of Planning for how one will care for himself or herself after Treatment is completed so as to never again commit DV-Type Behaviors and therefore never again end up with a DV-related Charge. Hence, the overall question is: Have you developed an Aftercare Plan that could help you do the following:

A. Continue to be fully Accountable your previous DV Offense? 

B. Continue to heal from your previous DV Offense?  and

C. Continue to make changes to your life that will help you better prevent DV-Type Behaviors and Offenses in the future? 

   Here, take a look at the following questions and think about how you might answer them: 

(Questions to consider as you move along successfully include)

1.  "What effect has this domestic violence offender treatment program had on your life?

2.  What changes have you noticed about yourself, you relationship, your lifestyle, or your attitude from when you first started treatment until now?

3.  What did you learn about the cycle of violence?

4.  What are the consequences of violence?

5.  How do you communicate with your partner and express your feelings?

6.  Describe the steps you use when taking a “time out”?

7.  What do you take responsibility for in your specific domestic violence incident?

8.  What are you major goals in your personal relationships?  (3 or more)

9.  What have you done to make amends to the victim?

10. What are options you have to acting out violently? (activities, exercise, meditation, etc.)

11. Who are the people that you rely on to help you understand your thoughts and feelings?  Talk about how they are supportive to you."

12. Name three general attitudes or ways of thinking that you plan to hold in order to keep yourself from ever again committing DV-Type Behaviors or being charged with a DV-related Offense.  

(SLVBHG)

*** Please CLICK HERE to

Complete your Adapted DVTPA Worksheet *** 

Please CLICK HERE to Complete

Your Session Feedback Form!!!

*** AND Once have completed the above, 

you can CLICK HER TO move on to 

the Treatment Planning for Success Section. ***

Sources: 

(DVTPA by Davies and Associates)

(AFTER CARE PLAN Questions by SLVBHG)

 (c. 2020, William T. Beverly, Ph.D., LCSW, All information on the Blog (Except where otherwise noted); are the intellectual and/or photographic and/or digital property of Dr. William T. Beverly, L.C.S.W., DVOMB Approved Offender Treatment Provider.).

COMING SOON: Topics related to Empathy; Using Social Support / Eco Mapping & Genograms; Communication Skills in Healthy Relationships; Taking Time-Outs & Stop / Breath / Focus / Relax & Choose Wisely

 COMING SOON are Topics related to:

•   Empathy Development; 

•   Using Social Support / Eco Mapping & Genograms; 

•   Communication Skills in Healthy Relationships; 

•   Taking Time-Outs & Stop / Breath / Focus / Relax & Choose Wisely; and 

•   The Cycle of Violence and our Patterns

D V O M B Mandatory Core Competencies and how they Relate to Successfully Completing DV Offender Treatment in Colorado.

 Mandatory D V O M B Core Competencies      

  What is the Domestic Violence Offender Management Board of Colorado (D V O M B)?

  What is the Core of something -- the Core of a Topic or a Way of Life?

  What is a Competency?

  The list below contains the D V O M B Core Competencies.

  Each DV Offender in Colorado is required to have developed some sense of mastery of each Core Competency before he or she can successfully complete DV Offender Treatment.  

  As you read the following Competencies, ask yourself the following questions:

  Am I confident that I understand this Competency Fully?  

  Could I define this Competency if I were called on to do so?

  Could I explain this Competency in detail if I was asked to?

  Could I describe this Competency as it relates to me and my life and my relationships -- past and present?

  Could I share about how this Competency might be able to impact my life -- should I employ it?

  Could I describe how this Competency might impact my relationships?

  Could I explain how this Competency describes something that was or was not in the Relationship at the time I got my DV-related Charge? 

  Could I draw a mental picture about how this Core Competency -- should I learn about it, master it, and fully employ it -- How it could change my life in the long run; as well as the lives of those who are close to me?

Instructions: 

  Please Note: These D V O M B Core Competencies (below) are a Mandatory Requirement for DV Offenders in Colorado. The State Agency that manages DV Offender Treatment in Colorado is the D V O M B.  And the D V O M B mandates that every DV Offender be required to master the following Core Competencies before they can be successfully discharged from DV Offender Treatment.  

Imagine that the list below is on a Worksheet -- Please read each one of the D V O M B Core Competencies (below), and underneath each one, please describe what this Core Competency means to you in terms of how it could relate to you never again having DV-Type Thinking, DV-Type Feelings, DV-Type Behavior or a DV-Related Offense.

In other words, how could this Core Competency Help You PREVENT DV in the Future?

  Please note that each Competency is denoted by a capital letter from the Alphabet and that the writing underneath each Competency contains further explanation of that Competency.  

  While you are reading, if there is a word that you do not understand, please say so.  There is no shame in Googling a word like "Coercion".  Or if you need more help you could email or text Dr. B and ask him.  Also you could ask your nearest English, Criminal Justice or Psychology Major to explain it to you.

  Also, please be clear that it does not matter whether or not one thinks that a given Competency on this List (below) does, or does not apply directly to them, or to their DV Offense.  

  What matters here is that in order to be able to eventually complete DV Offender Treatment in Colorado, one MUST master each of these Core Competencies (below).  This is one opportunity you will to demonstrate that.

  In other words, if there is a Competency about Psychological Abuse; it does not really matter whether or not there was Psychological Abuse in your relationship or involved in your offense.  What matters is that by the time you are done with DV Treatment, you will have a much clearer and broader understanding about the concept of Psychological Abuse as it negatively impacts people, as well as how it relates to your Thinking, Feeling and Relationships; than you had before DV Treatment.

PLEASE CAREFULLY READ the Instructions Below:

Whatever you do, DO NOT just put a check-mark or write "N/A or Not Applicable or None, or Does not Apply to me, or Never did this.... ,or I understand this Competency" on this list below (which you will find on the Worksheet).

Instead, what you need to do here is to demonstrate by your answers how each one of these Core Competencies below has been mastered by you, regardless of the nature of your DV-Related Offense; or how your DV Offense relates to the Core Competency itself.

And this can be done by writing just a couple of sentences under each one of the Lettered Items (A-through-V). Your responses should demonstrate that:

A) You understand what this Competency is about;

B) You understand the harm that can be done by the behavior that is described by, or warned about by such a Competency; and

(C) That you are capable of using this Core Competency and your DV Treatment and other Treatments to help you improve your LIfe and your Relationships; while at the same time, decreasing the probability of having another DV-type Offense.

In short, all you really need to do here is to simply try to write a sentence or two with the primary Core Competency Terms in the Sentence, that explains what you know about this topic that is highlighted in each Competency; as well as your commitment to improving your life and your ability to have healthy relationships.

For example: if I was completing a response or a sentence related to the Personal Change Plan Competency, I could write: "My Personal Change Plan essentially includes themes such as ways that I could prevent Domestic Violence in my future. I realize how my behavior in the past has negatively impacted myself and others; and I am committed to changing my ways such that this will never happen again."

 - A.   Elimination of Abusive Behavior

 - 1. Offender commits to the elimination of abusive behavior:

 - 2. Eliminates the use of physical intimidation, psychological cruelty, or coercion toward one’s partner or children. 

 - B.   Demonstration of Change

 - 1. Offender demonstrates change by working on the comprehensive personal change plan;

 - 2. Begins implementing portions of the personal change plan;

 - 3. Accepts that working on abuse related issues and monitoring them is an ongoing process;

 - 4. Begins designing an Aftercare Plan;

 - 5. Completes an Aftercare Plan and is prepared to implement this plan after discharge from treatment.

 - C.   Personal Change Plan

 - 1. Offender completes a comprehensive Personal Change Plan:

 - 2. The Plan Reflects the level of treatment and has been reviewed and approved by the MTT;

 - 3. Driven by the offender’s risks (or Risk Factors) and level of treatment.

 - D.   Empathy  

 - 1.  Offender development of empathy: Recognizes and verbalizes the effects of one’s actions on one’s partner/victim;

 - 2.  Recognizes and verbalizes the effects on children and other secondary and tertiary victims such as neighbors, family, friends, and professionals;

 - 3.  Offers helpful, compassionate response to others without turning attention back on self (Recognizing Empathy Worksheet.).

 - E.   Responsibility

 - 1. Offender accepts full responsibility for the offense and abusive history;

 - 2. Discloses the history of physical and psychological abuse toward the offender’s victim(s) and children;

 - 3. Overcomes the denial. minimization and blame that accompany abusive behavior;

 - 4. Makes increasing disclosures over time;

 - 5. Accepts responsibility for the impact of one’s abusive behavior on secondary, tertiary victims and the community;

 - 6. Recognizes that abusive behavior is unacceptable (abuse wrong-no excuses or justifications-no blaming)

 - F.   Understanding of offense, pattern of power and control, cultural context

 - 1. Offender identifies and progressively reduces pattern of power and control behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes of entitlement  (Personal Pattern of Power & Control Behaviors Worksheet):

 - 2. Recognizes that the violence was made possible by a larger context of the offender’s behaviors and attitudes;

 - 3. Identifies the specific forms of day-to-day abuse and control, such as isolation that have been utilized, as well as the underlying outlook and excuses that drove those behaviors;

 - 4. Demonstrate behaviors, attitudes and beliefs congruent with equality and respect in personal relationship

 - G.   Offender Accountability 

 - 1. Accepts responsibility for one’s abusive behaviors,

 - 2. Accepts the consequences of those abusive behaviors,

 - 3. Actively works to repair the harm, and prevent future abusive behavior;

 - 4. Taking corrective actions to foster safety and health for the victim

A.        - Recognizes and eliminates all minimizations of abusive behavior and without prompts identifies one’s own abusive behaviors

B.        - Demonstrates full ownership for his/her actions and accepts the consequences of these actions: The offender demonstrates an understanding of patterns for past abusive actions and acknowledges the need to plan for future self-management and further agrees to create the structure that makes accountability possible

C.        - The offender accepts that their partner or former partner and their children may continue to challenge them regarding past or current behaviors.  Should they behave abusively in the future, they consider it their responsibility to report those behaviors honestly to their friends and relatives, to their probation officer, and to others who will hold them accountable

(Accountability Letter Practice Worksheet.)

 - H.      - Consequences and Choice

 - 1. Offender accepts that one’s behavior has, and should have, consequences;

 - 2. Identifies the consequences of one’s own behavior and challenges distorted thinking and understands that consequences are a result of one’s actions or choices.

 - 3.  The offender makes decisions based on recognition of potential                                                 consequences; (Costs / Benefits Analysis)

 - 4. Recognizes that the abusive behavior was a choice, intentional and goal-                                   oriented

 - I.    Offender participation and cooperation in treatment:

 - 1. Participates openly in treatment (e.g. processing personal feelings, providing constructive feedback, identifying one’s own abusive patterns,

 - 2. Completes homework assignments,

 - 3.  Presents letter of accountability,

 - 4.  Demonstrates responsibility by attending treatment as required by the Treatment Plan

 

 - J.    Offender ability to define types of domestic violence

 - 1.  Defines controlling behavior and all types of domestic violence e.g. (a) physical, b) emotional, c) sexual, d) psychological, e) animal abuse, f) property, g) financial, h) isolation & jealousy, i) male privilege, j) intimidation,  &  k) coercion and threats.

 - 2.  Identifies in detail the specific types of DV engaged in, and the destructive impact of that behavior on the offender’s partner and children;

 - 3. Demonstrates cognitive understanding of the types of domestic violence as evidenced by giving examples and accurately label situations; defines continuum of behavior from healthy to abusive. (Types of DV Worksheet.)

 - K.  Offender understanding, identification and management of one’s personal pattern of violence

 - 1. Acknowledges past/present violent/controlling/abusive behavior;

 - 2. Explores motivations;

 - 3. Understands learned pattern of violence and can explain it to others;

 - 4. Disrupts pattern of violence prior to occurrence of behavior

 - L. Offender understanding of intergenerational effects of violence;

 - 1.  Identifies and recognizes past victimization, its origin, its type and impact;

 - 2. Recognizes the impact of witnessed violence; acknowledges that one’s upbringing has influenced current behaviors;

 - 3. Develops and implements as a plan to distance oneself from violent traditional tendencies, as well as cultural roles. (Examples: Homework assignments such as the Genogram, violence autobiography and timeline.  (Brief Autobiography of violence Worksheet.) 

 - M. Offender understanding and use of appropriate communication skills:

 - 1. Demonstrates non-abusive communication skills that include how to respond respectfully to the offender’s partner’s grievances

 - 2. How to initiate and treat one’s partner as an equal;

 - 3. Demonstrates an understanding of the difference between assertive, passive, passive aggressive, and aggressive communication,

 - 4. Makes appropriate choices in expressing emotions;

 - 5. Demonstrates appropriate active listening skills

 - N. Offender understanding and use of “time-outs” and Stop-Breathe-Focus

 - 1.  Recognizes the need for “time-outs” and/or other appropriate self-management skills;

 - 2.  Understands and practices all components of the time-out;

 - 3. Demonstrates and is open to feedback regarding the use of time-outs in therapy

 - O. Offender recognition of financial abuse and management of financial responsibility

 - 1.  Consistently meets financial responsibilities such as treatment fees, child support, maintenance, court fees, and restitution;  the MTT may choose to require the offender to provide documentation that demonstrates financial responsibilities are being met;

 - 2. Maintains legitimate employment, unless verifiably or medically unable                                        to work

 - P.  Violence and Abuse

 - 1. Offender eliminates all forms of violence and abuse

 - 2.  The offender does not engage in further acts of abuse and commits no new DV offenses or violent offenses against persons or animals.

 - Q.  Weapons

 - 1. Offender prohibited from purchasing, possessing, or using firearms or                       ammunition:

 - 2. An exception may be made if there is a specific court order allowing this – must provide written proof – treatment provider must address safety plan/storage etc.

 - R.    Identification and challenge of cognitive distortions

 - 1. Offender identifies and challenges cognitive distortions that play a role in the offender’s violence

 - 2. Offender demonstrates an understanding of distorted view of self, others, and relationships (e.g. gender role stereotyping, misattribution of power and responsibility, sexual entitlement)

Additional Competencies:

 - S. Offender understanding and demonstration of responsible parenting:

 - 1. Consistently fulfills all applicable parenting responsibilities such as cooperating with the child/children’s other parent regarding issues related to parenting,

 - 2. follows established parenting plan and appropriately uses parenting time including the safety and care of the child/children;

 - 3. Demonstrates an understanding that abuse during pregnancy may present a higher risk to the victim and unborn child. 

 - 4. The offender demonstrates sensitivity to the victim’s needs (physical, emotional, psychological, medical, financial, sexual, social, during pregnancy;

 - 5. Demonstrates appropriate interaction with the children and partner in a co-parenting or step-parenting situation

 - T. Offender identification of pro-social and/or community support and demonstration of the ability to utilize the support in an appropriate manner (sponsor, support person, etc. not the victim)

 - U. Offender’s consistent compliance with any psychiatric and medical recommendations for medication that may enhance the offender’s ability to benefit from treatment and/or reduce the offender’s risk of re-offense.

 - V. Offender’s consistent compliance with any alcohol or substance abuse evaluation and treatment that may enhance the offender’s ability to benefit from treatment and/or reduce the offender’s risk of re-offense

* Click Here to Complete the CORE COMPETENCIES WORKSHEET *

Below are some additional Worksheets that are part of this Process.  

If you would like to learn more, feel free to click on any of these and complete them if you wish: 

 -  DV Autobiography  

 -  Personal Change Plan   

 -  Aftercare Planning Worksheet.

 -  Statement of Responsibility (and Accountability)                          

 -  Personal Mission Statement Worksheet.  

 -  Commitment Statement/Elimination of Abusive Behavior

(c. 2021, All information on the Blog (Except where otherwise noted); are the intellectual and/or photographic     and/or digital property of Dr. William T. Beverly, L.C.S.W., D V O M B Approved Offender Treatment Provider.) 

Having Compassion for the Effects of Domestic Violence

*** DRAFT POST -- 

PLEASE DO NOT COPY or PRINT THIS POST ***

  Let's talk about Compassion and Domestic Violence.

One could speculate that When Domestic Violence happens, there is probably at least a temporary lack of Compassion somewhere in the relationship between the two people.

  The Core Competency D, which is about "Empathy" states the following: 

 D. Empathy

   1. Recognize & verbalize effects (of the offense) on victim.   

   2. Recognize & verbalize effects (of the offense) kids & family.

   3. Offers compassion w/out turning attention on self.

In What Ways are Victims Sometimes Impacted by Domestic Violence"

• Feelings hurt.
• Might make them start feeling insecure.
• Might make them Depressed or Anxious -- or Traumatized.
• Might make them Homeless.
• Cause Physical Injury.  (And many other things).
• The victim might lose their job due to absences.

In What Ways are the Kids and the Family Sometimes Impacted by Domestic Violence"

• Might have to move away from home and their friends too.
• It could traumatize them.
• They might have to change schools and school friends too.
• Kids might end up with related Mental Health Issues like Depression and Anxiety.
• Kids might not get to see one (or both) of their parents for a long time.
• Kids might have to go without their old possessions, toys, books and their old assets, like favorite teachers or neighbors.

In What Ways are Extended Family and Third Parties Sometimes Impacted by Domestic Violence"

• The family members or Friends might be embarrassed.
• Family members and Friends might get involved and get injured too.
• Family members might and Friends might have to help clean up the mess... like physically, financially, or even by just having to take care of the kids for a couple of weeks. 
• Family members and Friends might have to deal with the HATE.

  In some cases, one can help prevent DV from happening.  And if so, many of the problems listed above would never happen...

  But in other cases, nobody can prevent it.  Because the abuser keeps on abusing, and the victim just keeps going back.

  And every time the victim goes back to the abuser; there is a chance that there will be more abuse.

  And as the abuse continues; there are greater possibilities of more serious and more physical injuries to the victim and to the family.

  Sometimes, it's just too late to prevent the abuse.  The abuse has already happened, and one can only have Compassion.

 So What is Compassion?  

  "Compassion may be defined as: “Sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.” (Oxford).

 “Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another's suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering. Compassion is not the same as empathy or altruism, though the concepts are related” (Greater Good Magazine).

“While empathy refers more generally to our ability to take the perspective of and feel the emotions of another person, compassion is when those feelings and thoughts include the desire to help. Altruism, in turn, is the kind of selfless behavior often prompted by feelings of compassion, though one can feel compassion without acting on it, and altruism isn’t always motivated by compassion” (Greater Good Magazine).

Another Source writes: “While there is no single all-encompassing definition of compassion, it is generally understood to be a response to the suffering of another person."

"The kind of suffering we're responding to could be a variety of things ranging from physical, emotional or mental pain brought on by anything from disease to injury to a general dissatisfaction with life. The cause of the discomfort may come from external or interpersonal events, real or imagined. In any case, it is our care or concern for the person suffering that is considered compassion.”  (Paul Ekman Group).

What are the Different Types of Compassion:

“Compassionate Responses

As mentioned, there are many interpretations of compassion, focusing on different aspects of our response to suffering. One way to categorize different types of compassion is by the varying focus of our response, including our feelings, actions, concerns, and intentions:

empathic compassion: focusing on feeling the emotions experienced by the person who is suffering.

action compassion: focusing on actions that attempt to relieve physical and emotional pain.

concerned compassion: concern for the person who is suffering, emphasizing the compassionate person’s motivation (a desire, urge, or feeling) to alleviate suffering.

aspirational compassion: Buddhists describe something somewhat different, a compassion that is more cognitive than emotional, an aspiration or intention.”  (Paul Ekman Group).

 

“Immediacy of Compassion

Compassion can also be distinguished by the immediacy of response: responding to the current or future anticipated suffering of someone.

 Proximal compassion: compassion to alleviate suffering felt right now. Proximal compassion is often closely tied with our current emotional state.

Example: listening empathically to a friend in distress.

Distal compassion: compassion to avoid suffering in the future.

Distal compassion often involves more cognition as it involves 2 components:

1. Recognizing the problem that lies ahead

2. Being willing to engage in actions necessary to avoid future suffering, even if it requires some sacrifices now

Example: telling your child to wear their helmet when riding their bicycle to avoid injury.”  (Paul Ekman Group).

"What are the benefits of compassion?

 The conversations between Dr. Ekman and the Dalai Lama have highlighted some philosophical questions regarding the nature of compassion and our motivations and intentions behind acting compassionately.

The Dalai Lama believes that unbiased compassion must be carried out in a manner that is detached from selfish motivation, however he has also acknowledged how compassionate actions can benefit ourselves as well.

Whether or not an action may be considered truly compassionate if it is also in some way self-serving, Dr. Ekman takes the stand that it is helpful to hold a perspective of enlightened self-interest, in which we consider the ways that helping others can also help ourselves. In that light, Dr. Ekman outlines three benefits of compassion:

1. It generates an intrinsically good feeling (compassion joy).
2. It can increase our self-regard; it supports a positive view of oneself, as well as a sense of well-being and purpose.
3. It can elicit the approval of others: when other people learn about the compassionate action, accidentally or by design, their regard for the compassionate person may be increased. In turn this acknowledgment and approval may elicit further enjoyment in the compassionate actor." (Paul Ekman Group, Source.)

Discussion Questions: 

What Is My Level of Compassion for My Victim (Then and Now)?

0-10 (0 = No Compassion at all); (10 = Tons of Compassion)?

What Is My Level of Compassion for The Other's Involved (Then and Now)?

0-10 (0 = No Compassion at all); (10 = Tons of Compassion)?

How would I describe my sense of Compassion related to all of the Victims in my offense?

Originally Published 7/15/2024