Understanding DV from a Trauma-Informed Perspective

   In the Core Competencies for DV Offender Treatment, The Colorado Domestic Violence Offender Management Board states that everyone who goes through DV Treatment should be able to demonstrate Empathy in the following way:  

D.   Empathy:

  1.  Offender development of empathy: Recognizes and verbalizes the effects of one’s actions on one’s partner/victim;

  2.  Recognizes and verbalizes the effects on children and other secondary and tertiary victims such as neighbors, family, friends, and professionals;

  3.  Offers helpful, compassionate response to others without turning attention back on self (D.V.O.M.B. Core Competencies, Item D, 1-3).

 What is Empathy: Empathy can be defined as "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person" (Source).

 What is Trauma: According to Oxford Dictionary, Trauma is defined as “A deeply distressing or disturbing experience” And it can also be defined as:  “Emotional shock following a stressful event or a physical injury, which may lead to long-term neurosis” (Source).

  Trauma is often thought of in one or both of two different ways: In terms of physical Trauma such as a Physical Injury that one might go to an ER for; Or in terms of the type of Trauma that one would go and see a Therapist for in order to help them better manage their life that was shaken up in a big way by the Trauma that they had experienced at some time in their life. 

  "The Center for Treatment of Anxiety and Mood disorders defines trauma as “a psychological, emotional response to an event or an experience that is deeply distressing or disturbing.”  When loosely applied, this trauma definition can refer to something upsetting, such as being involved in an accident, having an illness or injury, losing a loved one, or going through a divorce.”

  “However, it can also encompass the far extreme and include experiences that are severely disturbing such as rape or torture. Because events are viewed subjectively, this broad trauma definition is more of a guideline. Everyone processes traumatic events differently because we all face them through the lens of prior experiences in our lives. As an example, one person may be upset or fearful after going through a hurricane, but someone else may have lost family in Hurricane Katrina, which can bring up traumatic flashbacks of their terrifying experience.” (Source).

 Merriam-Webster Dictionary’s definition is even more comprehensive:  “Trauma is the Greek word for "wound".   Although the Greeks used the term only for physical injuries, nowadays trauma is just as likely to refer to emotional wounds. We now know that a traumatic event can leave psychological symptoms long after any physical injuries have healed. The psychological reaction to emotional trauma now has an established name: post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.  It usually occurs after an extremely stressful event, such as wartime combat, a natural disaster, or sexual or physical abuse; its symptoms include depression, anxiety, flashbacks, and recurring nightmares.”” (Source).

  Further, according to Medicine.net, “Trauma is divided into three main types: acute, chronic, and complex” (Source)."

  One model that one could use to help people understand this concept could be what is now commonly called, the "Trauma Informed Perspective". 

 

  What is Trauma Informed?  “A trauma-informed perspective views trauma-related symptoms and behaviors as an individual's best and most resilient attempt to manage, cope with, and rise above his or her experience of trauma.” (Source).

  Whereas, The Center for Mental Health Services National Center for Trauma Informed Care says that another way of looking at it is that "A trauma-informed approach is based on the recognition that many behaviors and responses expressed by survivors are directly related to traumatic experiences."  (Source).

  In short, the National Institutes of Health says, “Individuals who have survived trauma vary widely in how they experience and express traumatic stress reactions. Traumatic stress reactions vary in severity; they are often measured by the level of impairment or distress that clients report and are determined by the multiple factors that characterize the trauma itself, individual history and characteristics, developmental factors, sociocultural attributes, and available resources. The characteristics of the trauma and the subsequent traumatic stress reactions can dramatically influence how individuals respond to the environment, relationships, interventions, and treatment services, and those same characteristics can also shape the assumptions that clients/consumers make about their world (e.g., their view of others, sense of safety), their future (e.g., hopefulness, fear of a foreshortened future), and themselves (e.g., feeling resilient, feeling incompetent in regulating emotions). The breadth of these effects may be observable or subtle” (Source).

Applying a Trauma-Informed Perspective to DV: 

  Regarding the connection between Trauma and Domestic Violence:

“Childhood Abuse and Relationship Violence

  Separate from PTSD, a connection has been found between the experience of certain traumatic events and relationship violence. In particular, studies have found that women who experienced sexual, emotional or physical abuse in childhood were more likely to experience violence in intimate relationships as compared to those without a history of childhood trauma.3

  People with PTSD also have been found to be more likely to be aggressive and engage in intimate partner abuse than people without a PTSD diagnosis. The connection between PTSD and violence has been found for both men and women with the disorder.

Trauma, PTSD, and Domestic Violence

  Researchers have attempted to better understand what may lead people with a history of trauma or PTSD to engage in aggressive and violent behaviors. In studies of U.S. veterans, depression played a role in aggression among people with PTSD.4 People who have both depression and PTSD may experience more feelings of anger and, therefore, may have greater difficulties controlling it.5

  Despite these findings, it is important to note that just because some people have experienced a traumatic event or have PTSD does not mean that they will exhibit violent behavior. There are many factors that contribute to aggressive behavior and much more research is needed to identify the specific risk factors for aggressive behavior among people exposed to traumatic events or who have PTSD.” (Source).

  Frequently, people involved in DV tend to bring their Trauma to the relationships and in many cases, they create more trauma before they leave some relationships.  This is an equal-opportunity type of thing. For example:

• Both Moms & Dads sometimes bring Trauma to their Relationships (with partners and with their children).
• Victims of DV tend to take Trauma away from the Relationship with them.
• And even Perpetrators of DV Tend to take Trauma away from their Relationships at times.
• Many children and others involved can sometimes take trauma from Relationships that include trauma.

A Thought about Victimhood.

  The purpose of this essay is NOT to create more Victims -- or making people feel like they are Victims.  Nor is there an assumption here that everyone is a Victim of something or another.  Further, it is not about making people feel that being a Victim excuses any sort of behavior that causes harm to others.  Rather, this is about allowing space for persons who have experienced Trauma to come out and talk about their Trauma as it relates to their experience(s) with DV.

Seven Questions:

1. What Trauma(s) have I experienced in the past that I brought into the Relationship where I got my DV Offense?

2. What Trauma did my DV Offense bring up for me?

3. In what ways was my DV Offense Traumatic for the Victim(s)?

4. In what ways was my DV Offense Traumatic for anyone else involved?

5. What am I currently doing to help heal myself from the Trauma that I may have experienced related to my DV Offense?

6. What am I currently doing to help heal others that may have experienced Trauma related to my DV Offense? 

7. In what ways could briefly focusing on the various Trauma(s) among my life's events help me to make better decisions in the future? 

What can I do to help Myself or Others heal from Trauma related to my DV Offense?  A partial list of potentially helpful ideas:

1. Work on ways to Heal Myself.  Learn good self-healing techniques (e.g. mindfulness).  Work on my Relaxation-Type Skills / Maybe if I get Spiritual it might work for me.
2. Get help for My Trauma -- Therapy / Counseling.  (Do so Before a Judge tells me to).
3. Work through My Own Trauma in a Sober Fashion.  Process my feelings about it.
4. I can own my Guilt for what I did that harmed myself and/or others; but I must not carry the Shame -- I need to know that I am not a "Bad Person".  I am a good person who did something bad.
5. Work hard on ways to prevent potential trauma-causing thoughts and behaviors -- that could effect anybody -- in the future.
6. Work on Accepting what I have done as well as how it effected other people; and then learn how to Forgive Myself. 
7. Really Show myself (and maybe even others) that I have Grown (hopefully) in positive ways through the awful situation that I was a part of.
8. Promise myself to accept the Process and to not fight the Good Changes that I am undergoing.
9. Commit to ongoing learning from what happened and commit to doing better next time.
10. Try to make amends or pay reparations if it's appropriate and if it is possible to do so without doing any harm to anyone (including myself).  And don't expect to be forgiven.
11. Practice Forgiveness for whatever I think (or I know) that others have done to hurt me.
12. Try to move on in my life, being with others; and listening to others without judging.

 

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   Trauma Informed DV Victim Empathy Worksheet. ***

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