"Values are the guiding principles of our lives. They are essential for positive human behavior and actions in our daily lives. They are formed on the basis of interests, choices, needs, desires and preferences. They have played important role in not only sociology, but also psychology, anthropology and related disciplines." (Source.) Our Values are also possibly influenced by our Religious Beliefs and Experiences, our Education, our Career Paths, and our Social Groups, our Socio-Economic Status, our Teachers, our Mentors, our Culture, our Peers, our Friends, and our Families.
Values on an Individual Level
"Our values concern those things we regard as having ultimate importance, significance, or worth. More abstractly, the term often refers to a set of principles, standards, or beliefs concerning these things of ultimate importance."
"Typically there are many things that an individual values, and among these, some will be more highly valued than others. For this reason, philosophers have sometimes spoken of "value systems". The relative importance of these values often varies to some degree according to the prevailing circumstances of life, with those things valued which cannot readily be obtained taking on greater significance (and hence acquiring greater value), while those things which are readily available may be taken for granted (thereby becoming less valued)." From: (Source)
"What are Basic Human Values?
Basic human values refer to those values which are at the core of being human. The values which are considered basic inherent values in humans include truth, honesty, loyalty, love, peace, etc. because they bring out the fundamental goodness of human beings and society at large. Further, since these values are unifying in nature and cut across individual’s social, cultural, religious and sectarian interests; they are also considered universal, timeless and eternal applying to all human beings."
"How are values different from norms?
Values and norms are different. Norm refers to a relatively specific behavior as per social customs and (are often) is obligatory. On the other hand, values are matter of choice. For example, honesty cannot be a norm because it may not be chosen to be followed (by some). Further, once a particular value is internalized by an individual, it becomes a norm for him / her for making decisions, judgements, preferences and choices."
"How are values different from Morals?
Morals are taught by the society to the individual while values can be cultivated from within. Morals act as motivation for leading a good life, while values act as intuition. Further, while morals are deep rooted, values may keep changing from time to time and as per needs." (From GK Today)HONOR and Values and DV.
Consider these examples of Honor from a Dictionary, as well from the U.S. Army: "If you are called a man (or woman) of honor, you are respected. If someone honors you, they recognize and award you for your achievements. The term honor has always been a word used to describe men and women of high moral worth or great achievement. ... (Also), People graduate from college with honor, meaning they have outstanding grades." (Source: Vocabulary.com).
Why is Honor Important (In Relation to DV)?
"Honor is a matter of carrying out, acting, and living the values of respect, duty, loyalty, selfless service, integrity and personal courage in everything you do, according to the Army. ... We give honor to the flag and to the ideals it represents and the symbolism it lends to the greatness of our nation." (From the Army "Code of Honor: Know It. Embrace It.).
Paraphrased Translation for an example of preventing DV in a Relationship: We give honor to the Marriage or the Relationship and to the ideals it represents and the symbolism it lends to the fulfilment of our lives. In other words, if I am acting abusively in my Relationship or my Marriage, then I am not honoring that Relationship or that Marriage. Just like if I am abusive in my Family, then I am not Honoring my Family or it's members.
What are Virtues? Virtues are that which we do in order to see that our values are realized. This begs the question: What is a Virtuous Person? A Virtuous Person is a person who tends to think and behave in ways that help maintain his or her personal Value System.
What is a Mission Statement? Our Values are very important to the formation of our Personal Mission(s) in life. According to the Oxford Dictionary, A Mission Statement is "a formal summary of the aims and values of a company, organization, or individual."
Your Personal Mission Statement: As an Individual, what are your Aims? What are your Values? What are your Virtues? And how are you planning to put all of this into your Commitment to ending Domestic Violence, DV-type Thinking, DV-type Feeling, DV-type Believing, and DV-type Behaving in your life?
In order to Prevent DV-Type Thinking, Feeling, Believing, or Behaving, it is probably best for one to have a good look at what his or her values are.
Below is a list of basic Values. In order to fully understand what we are doing here, it helps if you understand what each of these terms means. If you need to, feel free to Google or otherwise look-up the term to get its meaning. Or you may ask someone.
The key is to figure out the following: Which ones of these Values below (or other values) will best help you prevent DV in your life?
What do these Values mean to you?
And which ones among them are Values with which you identify?
It is good to know this, because some Values that might help prevent DV include (but are not limited to the following):
- Accountability
- Affection
- All human beings have worth as a person, and value
- Altruism
- Anger Awareness and Anger Management
- Healthy Argument
- Boundaries (And Respecting Boundaries)
- Brotherhood
- Charity
- Personal Choice & Self-Determination
- Committment
- Clear Communication & Listening Skills
- Compassion
- Competence and Skills
- Compromise
- Creativity
- Critical Thinking
- Human Dignity -- Each person deserves Dignity
- Do Unto Others as you would Have them Do Unto You
- Education
- Effectiveness
- Efficiency
- Empathy
- Exclusivity, Being True to a Group
- Expediency
- Fairness
- Faith & Righteousness (Doing for the good of your beliefs)
- Family
- Fidelity / Truthfulness
- Financial Security
- Forgiveness, Apology & Humility
- Freedom as endowed by your Creator
- Freedom of Speech
- Freedom of Thought and Beliefs
- Friendship
- Gentleness
- Hard Work
- Health (Mental and Physical)
- Healthy Child Development
- Hedonism
- Helpfulness
- Honesty
- Human Diversity -- Multiculturalism -- Awareness & Valuing of Differences
- Humanism
- Humanitarianism
- Utilitarianism
- Human Equality
- Humility
- Inclusion
- Independence
- Individuality
- Integrity -- Doing what is right especially when no one is looking
- Justice under the Law
- Kindness and Charity
- Liberty
- Logic
- Love
- Loyalty
- Mindfulness
- Moderation
- Mutual (Shared) Responsibility
- Negotiation
- Personal Non Violence / Non Violence: Ending Violence / World Peace
- Patience
- Peaceful Home Environment
- Physical Affection
- Power (Sharing Power)
- Prevention
- Pursuit of Happiness
- Relationships are more important than power, control, manipulation or dominance
- Relaxation
- Respect
- Responsibility
- Responsible Parenting
- Safety & Security
- Self Awareness
- Self-Worth
- Sharing
- Sisterhood
- Solitude
- Spirituality
- Sympathy
- Teamwork
- Thoughtfulness
- Trust
- Victory
- Vulnerability -- You be YOU.
- Wisdom (and Sharing Wisdom)
Final Question: Which Values are most important to you. Which Values will you use in order to create your Personal Mission Statement for having Violence-Free Relationships?
*** Please CLICK HERE to complete your
Mission Statement worksheet. ***
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(Originally Published / Posted 9/28/2020.)
(c. 2020, William T. Beverly, Ph.D., LCSW, All information on the Blog (Except where otherwise noted); are the intellectual and/or photographic and/or digital property of Dr. William T. Beverly, L.C.S.W., DVOMB Approved Offender Treatment Provider.).
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