COMING SOON are Topics related to:
Mandatory D V O M B Core Competencies
What is the Domestic Violence Offender Management Board of Colorado (D V O M B)?
What is a Competency?
The list below contains the D V O M B Core
Competencies.
Each DV Offender in Colorado is required to have developed some sense of mastery of each Core Competency before he or she can successfully complete DV Offender Treatment.
As you read the following Competencies, ask yourself the following questions:
Am I confident that I understand this Competency Fully?
Could I define this Competency if I were called on to do so?
Could I explain this Competency in detail if I was asked to?
Could I describe this Competency as it relates to me and my life and my relationships -- past and present?
Could I share about how this Competency might be able to impact my life -- should I employ it?
Could I describe how this Competency might impact my relationships?
Could I explain how this Competency describes something that was or was not in the Relationship at the time I got my DV-related Charge?
Could I draw a mental picture about how this Core Competency -- should I learn about it, master it, and fully employ it -- How it could change my life in the long run; as well as the lives of those who are close to me?
Instructions:
Please Note: These D V O M B Core Competencies (below) are a Mandatory Requirement for DV Offenders in Colorado. The State Agency that manages DV Offender Treatment in Colorado is the D V O M B. And the D V O M B mandates that every DV Offender be required to master the following Core Competencies before they can be successfully discharged from DV Offender Treatment.
Imagine that the list below is on a Worksheet -- Please read each one of the D V O M B Core Competencies (below), and underneath each one, please describe what this Core Competency means to you in terms of how it could relate to you never again having DV-Type Thinking, DV-Type Feelings, DV-Type Behavior or a DV-Related Offense.
In other words, how could this Core Competency Help You PREVENT DV in the Future?
Please note that each Competency is denoted by a capital letter from the Alphabet and that the writing underneath each Competency contains further explanation of that Competency.
While you are reading, if there is a word that you do not understand, please say so. There is no shame in Googling a word like "Coercion". Or if you need more help you could email or text Dr. B and ask him. Also you could ask your nearest English, Criminal Justice or Psychology Major to explain it to you.
Also, please be clear that it does not matter whether or not one thinks that a given Competency on this List (below) does, or does not apply directly to them, or to their DV Offense.
What matters here is that in order to be able to eventually complete DV Offender Treatment in Colorado, one MUST master each of these Core Competencies (below). This is one opportunity you will to demonstrate that.
In other words, if there is a Competency about Psychological Abuse; it does not really matter whether or not there was Psychological Abuse in your relationship or involved in your offense. What matters is that by the time you are done with DV Treatment, you will have a much clearer and broader understanding about the concept of Psychological Abuse as it negatively impacts people, as well as how it relates to your Thinking, Feeling and Relationships; than you had before DV Treatment.
For example: if I was completing a response or a sentence related to the Personal Change Plan Competency, I could write: "My Personal Change Plan essentially includes themes such as ways that I could prevent Domestic Violence in my future. I realize how my behavior in the past has negatively impacted myself and others; and I am committed to changing my ways such that this will never happen again."
- A. Elimination of Abusive Behavior
- 1. Offender commits to the elimination of
abusive behavior:
- 2. Eliminates the use of physical intimidation,
psychological cruelty, or coercion toward one’s partner or children.
- B. Demonstration of Change
- 1. Offender demonstrates change by working on
the comprehensive personal change plan;
- 2. Begins implementing portions of the personal
change plan;
- 3. Accepts that working on abuse related issues
and monitoring them is an ongoing process;
- 4. Begins designing an Aftercare Plan;
- 5. Completes an Aftercare Plan and is prepared
to implement this plan after discharge from treatment.
- C. Personal Change Plan
- 1. Offender completes a comprehensive Personal Change Plan:
- 2. The Plan Reflects the level of treatment and has been
reviewed and approved by the MTT;
- 3. Driven by the offender’s risks (or Risk Factors) and level of
treatment.
- D. Empathy
- 1. Offender
development of empathy: Recognizes and verbalizes the effects of one’s actions
on one’s partner/victim;
- 2. Recognizes
and verbalizes the effects on children and other secondary and tertiary victims
such as neighbors, family, friends, and professionals;
- 3. Offers
helpful, compassionate response to others without turning attention back on
self (Recognizing Empathy Worksheet.).
- E. Responsibility
- 1. Offender accepts full responsibility for the
offense and abusive history;
- 2. Discloses the history of physical and
psychological abuse toward the offender’s victim(s) and children;
- 3. Overcomes the denial. minimization and blame that
accompany abusive behavior;
- 4. Makes increasing disclosures over time;
- 5. Accepts responsibility for the impact of
one’s abusive behavior on secondary, tertiary victims and the community;
- 6. Recognizes that abusive behavior is
unacceptable (abuse wrong-no excuses or justifications-no blaming)
- F. Understanding of offense, pattern of power
and control, cultural context
- 1. Offender identifies and progressively
reduces pattern of power and control behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes of
entitlement (Personal Pattern of Power & Control Behaviors Worksheet):
- 2. Recognizes that the violence was made
possible by a larger context of the offender’s behaviors and attitudes;
- 3. Identifies the specific forms of day-to-day
abuse and control, such as isolation that have been utilized, as well as the
underlying outlook and excuses that drove those behaviors;
- 4. Demonstrate behaviors, attitudes and beliefs
congruent with equality and respect in personal relationship
- G. Offender Accountability
- 1. Accepts responsibility for one’s abusive
behaviors,
- 2. Accepts the consequences of those abusive behaviors,
- 3. Actively works to repair the harm, and
prevent future abusive behavior;
- 4. Taking corrective actions to foster safety and
health for the victim
A. - Recognizes
and eliminates all minimizations of abusive behavior and without prompts
identifies one’s own abusive behaviors
B. - Demonstrates
full ownership for his/her actions and accepts the consequences of these
actions: The offender demonstrates an understanding of patterns for past
abusive actions and acknowledges the need to plan for future self-management
and further agrees to create the structure that makes accountability possible
C. - The
offender accepts that their partner or former partner and their children may
continue to challenge them regarding past or current behaviors. Should they behave abusively in the future,
they consider it their responsibility to report those behaviors honestly to
their friends and relatives, to their probation officer, and to others who will
hold them accountable
(Accountability Letter Practice Worksheet.)
- H. - Consequences and Choice
- 1. Offender accepts that one’s behavior has,
and should have, consequences;
- 2. Identifies the consequences of one’s own
behavior and challenges distorted thinking and understands that consequences are a result of one’s
actions or choices.
- 3. The offender makes decisions based on recognition of potential consequences; (Costs / Benefits Analysis)
- 4. Recognizes that the abusive behavior was a
choice, intentional and goal- oriented
- I. Offender participation and cooperation in
treatment:
- 1. Participates openly in treatment (e.g.
processing personal feelings, providing constructive feedback, identifying
one’s own abusive patterns,
- 2. Completes homework assignments,
- 3. Presents
letter of accountability,
- 4. Demonstrates
responsibility by attending treatment as required by the Treatment Plan
- J. Offender ability to define types of
domestic violence
- 1. Defines controlling behavior and all types of
domestic violence e.g. (a) physical, b) emotional, c) sexual, d) psychological,
e) animal abuse, f) property, g) financial, h) isolation & jealousy, i)
male privilege, j) intimidation, & k) coercion and threats.
- 2. Identifies
in detail the specific types of DV engaged in, and the destructive impact of
that behavior on the offender’s partner and children;
- 3. Demonstrates cognitive understanding of the
types of domestic violence as evidenced by giving examples and accurately label
situations; defines continuum of behavior from healthy to abusive. (Types of DV Worksheet.)
- K. Offender understanding, identification and
management of one’s personal pattern of violence
- 1. Acknowledges past/present violent/controlling/abusive
behavior;
- 2. Explores motivations;
- 3. Understands learned pattern of violence and
can explain it to others;
- 4. Disrupts pattern of violence prior to
occurrence of behavior
- L.
Offender understanding of intergenerational effects of violence;
- 1. Identifies and recognizes past victimization,
its origin, its type and impact;
- 2. Recognizes the impact of witnessed violence;
acknowledges that one’s upbringing has influenced current behaviors;
- 3. Develops and implements as a plan to
distance oneself from violent traditional tendencies, as well as cultural
roles. (Examples: Homework assignments such as the Genogram, violence
autobiography and timeline. (Brief Autobiography of violence Worksheet.)
- M. Offender understanding and use of appropriate communication skills:
- 1. Demonstrates non-abusive communication
skills that include how to respond respectfully to the offender’s partner’s
grievances
- 2. How to initiate and treat one’s partner as
an equal;
- 3. Demonstrates an understanding of the
difference between assertive, passive, passive aggressive, and aggressive
communication,
- 4. Makes appropriate choices in expressing
emotions;
- 5. Demonstrates appropriate active listening
skills
- N. Offender understanding and use of “time-outs” and Stop-Breathe-Focus
- 1. Recognizes the need for “time-outs” and/or
other appropriate self-management skills;
- 2. Understands
and practices all components of the time-out;
- 3. Demonstrates and is open to feedback
regarding the use of time-outs in therapy
- O. Offender recognition of financial abuse and management of financial responsibility
- 1. Consistently
meets financial responsibilities such as treatment fees, child support,
maintenance, court fees, and restitution; the MTT may choose to require the offender to
provide documentation that demonstrates financial responsibilities are being
met;
- 2. Maintains legitimate employment, unless verifiably or medically unable to work
- P. Violence and Abuse
- 1. Offender eliminates all forms of violence
and abuse
- 2. The
offender does not engage in further acts of abuse and commits no new DV
offenses or violent offenses against persons or animals.
- Q. Weapons
- 1. Offender prohibited from purchasing,
possessing, or using firearms or ammunition:
- 2. An exception may be made if there is a
specific court order allowing this – must provide written proof – treatment
provider must address safety plan/storage etc.
- R. Identification and challenge of cognitive distortions
- 1. Offender identifies and challenges cognitive
distortions that play a role in the offender’s violence
- 2. Offender demonstrates an understanding of
distorted view of self, others, and relationships (e.g. gender role
stereotyping, misattribution of power and responsibility, sexual entitlement)
Additional Competencies:
- S. Offender understanding and demonstration of responsible parenting:
- 1. Consistently fulfills all applicable
parenting responsibilities such as cooperating with the child/children’s other
parent regarding issues related to parenting,
- 2. follows established parenting plan and
appropriately uses parenting time including the safety and care of the
child/children;
- 3. Demonstrates an understanding that abuse
during pregnancy may present a higher risk to the victim and unborn child.
- 4. The offender demonstrates sensitivity to the
victim’s needs (physical, emotional, psychological, medical, financial, sexual,
social, during pregnancy;
- 5. Demonstrates appropriate interaction with
the children and partner in a co-parenting or step-parenting situation
- T. Offender identification of pro-social and/or community support and
demonstration of the ability to utilize the support in an appropriate manner
(sponsor, support person, etc. not the victim)
- U. Offender’s consistent compliance with any psychiatric and medical
recommendations for medication that may enhance the offender’s ability to
benefit from treatment and/or reduce the offender’s risk of re-offense.
- V. Offender’s consistent compliance with any alcohol or substance abuse evaluation
and treatment that may enhance the offender’s ability to benefit from treatment
and/or reduce the offender’s risk of re-offense
* Click Here to Complete the CORE COMPETENCIES WORKSHEET *
Below are some additional Worksheets that are part of this Process.
If you would like to learn more, feel free to click on any of these and complete them if you wish:
- DV Autobiography
- Personal Change Plan- Aftercare Planning Worksheet.- Statement of Responsibility (and Accountability)- Personal Mission Statement Worksheet.- Commitment Statement/Elimination of Abusive Behavior
(c. 2021, All information on the Blog (Except where otherwise noted); are the intellectual and/or photographic and/or digital property of Dr. William T. Beverly, L.C.S.W., D V O M B Approved Offender Treatment Provider.)
*** DRAFT POST --
PLEASE DO NOT COPY or PRINT THIS POST ***
Let's talk about Compassion and Domestic Violence.
One could speculate that When Domestic Violence happens, there is probably at least a temporary lack of Compassion somewhere in the relationship between the two people.
The Core Competency D, which is about "Empathy" states the following:
D. Empathy
1. Recognize & verbalize effects (of the offense) on victim.
2. Recognize & verbalize effects (of the offense) kids & family.
3. Offers compassion w/out turning attention on self.
In What Ways are Victims Sometimes Impacted by Domestic Violence"
In What Ways are the Kids and the Family Sometimes Impacted by Domestic Violence"
"Compassion may be defined as: “Sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.” (Oxford).
“Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another's suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering. Compassion is not the same as empathy or altruism, though the concepts are related” (Greater Good Magazine).
“While empathy refers more generally to our ability to take the perspective of and feel the emotions of another person, compassion is when those feelings and thoughts include the desire to help. Altruism, in turn, is the kind of selfless behavior often prompted by feelings of compassion, though one can feel compassion without acting on it, and altruism isn’t always motivated by compassion” (Greater Good Magazine).
Another Source writes: “While there is no single all-encompassing definition of compassion, it is generally understood to be a response to the suffering of another person."
"The kind of suffering we're responding to could be a variety of things ranging from physical, emotional or mental pain brought on by anything from disease to injury to a general dissatisfaction with life. The cause of the discomfort may come from external or interpersonal events, real or imagined. In any case, it is our care or concern for the person suffering that is considered compassion.” (Paul Ekman Group).
What are the Different Types of Compassion:
“Compassionate Responses
As mentioned, there are many interpretations of compassion, focusing on different aspects of our response to suffering. One way to categorize different types of compassion is by the varying focus of our response, including our feelings, actions, concerns, and intentions:
empathic compassion: focusing on feeling the emotions experienced by the person who is suffering.
action compassion: focusing on actions that attempt to relieve physical and emotional pain.
concerned compassion: concern for the person who is suffering, emphasizing the compassionate person’s motivation (a desire, urge, or feeling) to alleviate suffering.
aspirational compassion: Buddhists describe something somewhat different, a compassion that is more cognitive than emotional, an aspiration or intention.” (Paul Ekman Group).
“Immediacy of CompassionCompassion can also be distinguished by the immediacy of response: responding to the current or future anticipated suffering of someone.
Proximal compassion: compassion to alleviate suffering felt right now. Proximal compassion is often closely tied with our current emotional state.
Example: listening empathically to a friend in distress.
Distal compassion: compassion to avoid suffering in the future.
Distal compassion often involves more cognition as it involves 2 components:
1. Recognizing the problem that lies ahead2. Being willing to engage in actions necessary to avoid future suffering, even if it requires some sacrifices now
Example: telling your child to wear their helmet when riding their bicycle to avoid injury.” (Paul Ekman Group).
"What are the benefits of compassion?
The conversations between Dr. Ekman and the Dalai Lama have highlighted some philosophical questions regarding the nature of compassion and our motivations and intentions behind acting compassionately.
The Dalai Lama believes that unbiased compassion must be carried out in a manner that is detached from selfish motivation, however he has also acknowledged how compassionate actions can benefit ourselves as well.
Whether or not an action may be considered truly compassionate if it is also in some way self-serving, Dr. Ekman takes the stand that it is helpful to hold a perspective of enlightened self-interest, in which we consider the ways that helping others can also help ourselves. In that light, Dr. Ekman outlines three benefits of compassion:
- It generates an intrinsically good feeling (compassion joy).
- It can increase our self-regard; it supports a positive view of oneself, as well as a sense of well-being and purpose.
- It can elicit the approval of others: when other people learn about the compassionate action, accidentally or by design, their regard for the compassionate person may be increased. In turn this acknowledgment and approval may elicit further enjoyment in the compassionate actor." (Paul Ekman Group, Source.)
What Is My Level of Compassion for My Victim (Then and Now)?
0-10 (0 = No Compassion at all); (10 = Tons of Compassion)?
What Is My Level of Compassion for The Other's Involved (Then and Now)?
0-10 (0 = No Compassion at all); (10 = Tons of Compassion)?
How would I describe my sense of Compassion related to all of the Victims in my offense?
Originally Published 7/15/2024
Six Key Parts of Emotional Intelligence:
1. Self Awareness
2. Self Regulation
3. Motivation
4. Empathy
5. Validation
6. Social Skills
EVER Thought About Moving Empathy Towards Sympathy...???
Dr. Martin Luther King was somewhat of a Genius when it came to Empathy. He actually convinced his marchers to have empathy for those who were attacking them in order to help their attackers to have empathy (and possibly even sympathy) for his marchers and their cause.
“Nonviolence
As a theologian, Martin Luther King reflected often on his understanding of nonviolence. He described his own “pilgrimage to nonviolence” in his first book, Stride Toward Freedom, and in subsequent books and articles. “True pacifism,” or “nonviolent resistance,” King wrote, is “a courageous confrontation of evil by the power of love” (Source). Both “morally and practically” committed to nonviolence, King believed that “the Christian doctrine of love operating through the Gandhian method of nonviolence was one of the most potent weapons available to oppressed people in their struggle for freedom” (Source).
King was first introduced to the concept of nonviolence when he read Henry David Thoreau’s Essay on Civil Disobedience as a freshman at Morehouse College. Having grown up in Atlanta and witnessed segregation and racism every day, King was “fascinated by the idea of refusing to cooperate with an evil system” (Source).
In 1950, as a student at Crozer Theological Seminary, King heard a talk by Dr. Mordecai Johnson, president of Howard University. Dr. Johnson, who had recently traveled to India, spoke about the life and teachings of Mohandas K. Gandhi. Gandhi, King later wrote, was the first person to transform Christian love into a powerful force for social change. Gandhi’s stress on love and nonviolence gave King “the method for social reform that I had been seeking” (Source).
While intellectually committed to nonviolence, King did not experience the power of nonviolent direct action first-hand until the start of the Montgomery bus boycott in 1955. During the boycott, King personally enacted Gandhian principles. With guidance from black pacifist Bayard Rustin and Glenn Smiley of the Fellowship of Reconciliation, King eventually decided not to use armed bodyguards despite threats on his life, and reacted to violent experiences, such as the bombing of his home, with compassion. Through the practical experience of leading nonviolent protest, King came to understand how nonviolence could become a way of life, applicable to all situations. King called the principle of nonviolent resistance the “guiding light of our movement. Christ furnished the spirit and motivation while Gandhi furnished the method” (Source).
King’s notion of nonviolence had six key principles.
During the years after the bus boycott, King grew increasingly committed to nonviolence. An India trip in 1959 helped him connect more intimately with Gandhi’s legacy. King began to advocate nonviolence not just in a national sphere, but internationally as well: “the potential destructiveness of modern weapons” convinced King that “the choice today is no longer between violence and nonviolence. It is either nonviolence or nonexistence” (Source).
After Black Power advocates such as Stokely Carmichael began to reject nonviolence, King lamented that some African Americans had lost hope, and reaffirmed his own commitment to nonviolence: “Occasionally in life one develops a conviction so precious and meaningful that he will stand on it till the end. This is what I have found in nonviolence” (Source). He wrote in his 1967 book, Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community?: “We maintained the hope while transforming the hate of traditional revolutions into positive nonviolent power. As long as the hope was fulfilled there was little questioning of nonviolence. But when the hopes were blasted, when people came to see that in spite of progress their conditions were still insufferable … despair began to set in” (Source). Arguing that violent revolution was impractical in the context of a multiracial society, he concluded: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. The beauty of nonviolence is that in its own way and in its own time it seeks to break the chain reaction of evil” (Source)."
Finally, it should be noted that along these lines, Dr. King also wrote: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. "
Wrap - Up:
If we practice more Non-Violence; we can develop more Empathy for others and for ourselves as well; and if you can practice Emotional Intelligence, then we can also develop even more Empathy for Others and for ourselves. And if we can have more empathy for others; we can understand them better; and then -- if we really try, we will be more likely to be able to co-exist peacefully.
Footnotes for King Piece:
King, “Pilgrimage to Nonviolence,” 13 April 1960, in Papers 5:419–425.
King, Stride Toward Freedom, 1958.
King, Where Do We Go from Here, 1967.” (SOURCE).
Other King Citations in Text Above (In order of presentation): King, Stride, 80; King, Stride, 73; King, Stride, 79; Papers 5:423; King, Stride, 84; Stride, 85; King; King, Stride, 86; King, Stride, 88; Papers 5:424; King, Where, 63–64; King, Where, 45; King, Where, 62–63; Stride, 79; Papers 5:422).
