Is it Possible that Psychological Kinship is a Necessity for a Successful Relationship: AKA, ,How much Psychological Kinship is truly being shared between partners in an Abusive Relationship?

DRAFT POST.  Please do not copy, print or distribute. 

Later I am going to ask -- 

How might one describe the Psychological Kinship between two partners when there is abuse?

How might one describe the Psychological Kinship between two partners when there Love and Closeness and comfort and joy?

What is a Successful Relationship?  (No DV)

Dr. Kent G. Bailey did us all a big favor not so long ago....  He wrote extensively about and developed the Concept of Psychological Kinship.

What is Psychological Kinship:

  "Psychological kinship is the, often subconscious, tendency to perceive and treat genetically unrelated individuals (friends, mentors, or therapists) as if they were family members. It extends the emotional bonds of nurturing and loyalty beyond bloodlines to provide social support, particularly during times of stress. [1, 2, 3, 4]

Key Aspects of Psychological Kinship:

• "As If" Relationship: It involves adopting a mental set where close friends, mentors, or pets are categorized similarly to biological kin, fostering deep trust and care. [1, 2, 3, 4]
• Triggered by Stress: The need for psychological kin is heightened by survival stress or emotional upheaval, leading people to "adopt" helpers into their inner circle. [1, 2]
• Common in Helping Professions: Clients often seek or develop a quasi-familial bond with therapists or counselors, which acts as a mechanism for healing and security. [1, 2]
• Evolutionary Basis: Rooted in primate sociality, humans are inclined to form these intimate ties for survival, even when not biologically related. [1, 2]

Psychological kinship often overlaps with concepts of "chosen family" or deep, intimate friendships. [1]"

"A successful relationship is generally defined as one where both partners feel happy, supported, and able to communicate their needs effectively. It involves mutual respect, a shared level of commitment, and the ability to evolve together as individuals. Key characteristics include trust, authentic communication, and unselfish love, which contribute to the overall fulfillment and compatibility of the partners involved"  (Source).

What is Psychological Kinship?

"Psychological kinship is the human tendency to perceive and treat genetically unrelated individuals—such as friends, partners, or mentors—as if they were family members. This phenomenon involves extending feelings of closeness, loyalty, and obligation to non-kin, often "over-perceiving" family bonds based on deep emotional connections. [1, 2, 3]

Key Aspects of Psychological Kinship

• "As-If" Family: It is characterized by feeling and behaving toward others "as family," regardless of actual biological relatedness. [1]
• Role in Relationships: Often seen in close friendships, long-term marriages, and in the "helping professions," where clients may view therapists or counselors in parental or sibling terms. [1, 2]
• Stress-Induced: The tendency to form these bonds increases significantly under survival stress or personal crisis, when people look for close, protective support systems. [1, 2]
• Evolutionary Basis: It is thought to be an extension of our natural, evolutionary inclination to form, trust, and support kin, applied to others to create social cohesion and safety. [1, 2, 3]

Contextual Applications

• Therapy: The Kinship Model of Therapy suggests that, because clients under stress seek emotional safety, they may form strong psychological kinship ties with their helpers. [1]
• Friendship: It explains why close friends can feel more like family than biological relatives, particularly through shared experiences and mutual support. [1, 2, 3]
• Social Groups: It can extend to organizations or communities, where shared characteristics foster a feeling of "familiness" among members. [1]

Note: The concept is often defined as an "as-if" family, distinguished from biological kinship, which is based on consanguinity (blood relations). [1]" (Source.)

"The Psychological Kinship Scale (PKS) is a 20-item, 5-point Likert scale developed by Nava and Bailey (1991) to measure the extent to which individuals perceive non-biological, "as-if" family relationships (e.g., romantic partners, close friends) with the same closeness, obligation, and emotional intensity as biological family members. [1, 2]

Key Aspects of the Psychological Kinship Scale

• Construct Definition: It measures the subjective "family-like" quality of relationships rather than legal or biological ties. [1, 2, 3, 4]
• Structure: The PKS typically features 20 items that are rated, with total scores ranging from 20 to 100. [1]
• Validation: Research indicates the scale is positively correlated with attachment, love, and liking, though sex differences in scoring patterns have been noted. [1, 2]
• Application: It has been used to study romantic attraction, social support, and resilience, indicating that high kinship with non-kin can provide similar support to that of biological kin. [1, 2]
• Alternative Measures: Adaptations, such as the 4-item kin-perceptions scale, are used to measure psychological closeness to larger groups, such as in the context of immigration and host cultures. [1]

The scale, originally designed as a 60-item instrument, was refined to improve its validity in measuring the "psychological family" construct. [1, 2]"  (Source).

  So...  Have you ever had a sense of Psychological Kinship in a Romantic Relationship?

"Psychological kinship scales measure the perceived emotional closeness, shared identity, and sense of family-like connection with others, often focusing on non-biological relationships or assessing the depth of existing family bonds. These tools frequently use Likert-type questions (e.g., 0-10 or strongly disagree to strongly agree) to evaluate intimacy, investment, and emotional attachment. [1, 2, 3]

Common Psychological Kinship Scale Components
Research often uses questions to measure the intensity of bonds: [1]

• Willingness to Invest (Altruism): Measures how much a person is willing to sacrifice for another.
  • "How willing would you be to donate your kidney to [Name] if she/he needed it?"
  • "How willing would you be to give half of one month's salary to [Name]?"
  • "Imagine [Name] being sentenced to jail... how willing would you be to serve the sentence instead?" [1, 2]
• Emotional Closeness:
  • "How emotionally close are you and [Name]?" [1]
• Family-Like Connection (Kinship Scale): Measures perceived "familyness".
  • "I feel a strong sense of family with [Name]."
  • "I would turn to [Name] before anyone else in a crisis."
  • "[Name] is as close to me as a biological sibling/parent." [1, 2]
• Self-Concept/Relational Identity: Assesses how much identity is defined by others.
  • "My close relationships are an important reflection of who I am."
  • "I feel as though I am a part of [Name]." [1]

Context and Usage

• Kinship Scale (Revised): A 20-item measure focusing on affective bonds that often correlates with love, liking, and attachment measures, with the strongest factor being "family love".
• Kinship Center Attachment Questionnaire (KCAQ): A tool to measure child attachment and track changes over time.
• Relational-Interdependent Self-Construal Scale (RISC): Assesses how much self-concept is defined through close relationships. [1, 2, 3]

These scales are used to understand how people define "family" beyond biology, often showing that women, in particular, treat close friends similar to kin. [1]"

(Source)