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Core Principles in Healthy Relationships -- And How to Prevent Domestic Violence
What does a healthy relationship look like:
- "I don't think it exists"
- Communication
- Understanding
- Trust
- Faith in each other.
- Takes two to work on it
- Relationships need work (Understanding, Trust for sure, A desire to make it work)
- Both can be Right at the same time
- Possibly some Faith in God (Humility)
- If you find the right person, you can fall into it. (When two people fit each other)
- Compromise
- Ability to overcome preconceptions - Ability let go of prejudices.
- Similar Values.
- Religious compatibility.
- Same wave-length.
- Honesty
- Respect
- Altruism / Charity / Ability and Willingness to do Good.
- Humility
- Willingness to Grow (Focus Group ... In DV Groups)
"More than one-third of women and one in 12 men have experienced intimate partner violence in their lifetime , according to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey. Anyone would agree that’s too many. If you’re asking yourself what you can do to help, read on. Below, 10 steps you can take to help stop domestic violence in your community.
1. Know the signs. Domestic violence can happen to anyone—white, black, young, old, rich, poor, educated, not educated. Sometimes violence begins early on in a relationship and other times it takes months or even years to appear. But there generally are some warning signs. Be wary of the following red flags an abuser may exhibit at any point in a relationship:
- Being jealous of your friends or time spent away from your partner
- Discouraging you from spending time away from your partner
- Embarrassing or shaming you
- Controlling all financial decisions
- Making you feel guilty for all the problems in the relationship
- Preventing you from working
- Intentionally damaging your property
- Threatening violence against you, your pets or someone you love to gain compliance
- Pressuring you to have sex when you don’t want to
- Intimidating you physically, especially with weapons
2. Don’t ignore it. Police officers hear the same thing from witnesses again and again—I heard/saw/perceived domestic violence but didn’t want to get involved. If you hear your neighbors engaged in a violent situation, call the police. It could save a life.
3. Lend an ear. If someone ever confides in you they are experiencing domestic violence, listen without judgment. Believe what they are telling you and ask how you can help, or see this list of 25 ways to help a survivor.
4. Be available. If someone you know is thinking about leaving or is in fear the violence will escalate, be ready to help. Keep your phone with you and the ringer on, make sure you have gas in your car and discuss an escape plan or meeting place ahead of time.
5. Know the number to a nearby shelter. You never know who might need refuge in a hurry. Keep numbers to shelters (find local shelter numbers here) and the National Domestic Violence Hotline in your phone (800-799-7233).
6. Check in regularly. If a loved one or friend is in danger, reach out regularly to ensure his or her safety.
7. Be a resource. Someone experiencing violence may not be able to research shelters, escape plans or set up necessities like bank accounts and cell phones while living with his or her abuser. Offer to do the legwork to help ease stress and keep things confidential. Here’s a list of items a survivor may need to take with them.
8. Write it down. Document every incident you witness and include the date, time, location, injuries and circumstances. This information could be very useful in later police reports and court cases, both criminal and civil.
9. Get the word out. Assist a local shelter or domestic violence organization in their efforts to raise awareness in your community. Or use your personal connections to start a grassroots campaign. Organize talks at your workplace wellness fair, HOA meetings and church groups.
10. Put your money where your mouth is. Use your power as a consumer and refuse to support the culture perpetuated in music, movies, television, games and the media that glorifies violence, particularly against women."
(Source).
For Prevention of DV -- Core Principles:
Healthy Relationship Tips: How to Have a Good Relationship. Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of mutual respect, trust, and open communication, where both partners feel supported, safe, and equal. Key principles include setting healthy boundaries, embracing individuality while staying connected, and managing conflict through constructive, honest dialogue. Commitment to mutual growth and nurturing affection are essential for longevity. (Mark Manson)
Core Principles of a Healthy Relationship:
Mutual Respect: Partners value each other's opinions, feelings, and boundaries without trying to control or change one another.
Trust and Safety: A secure environment where both individuals feel physically and emotionally safe, allowing for vulnerability without fear of retaliation or judgment.
Open Communication: Proactive, honest, and kind communication, including active listening and expressing needs directly rather than expecting partners to guess.
Equality and Compromise: Decision-making is shared, and both partners contribute equally to the relationship's maintenance and conflict resolution.
Independence and Individuality: Maintaining personal hobbies, friendships, and self-care routines outside of the relationship to avoid codependency.
Support and Empathy: Encouraging each other's goals and offering compassion during difficult times.
Constructive Conflict Resolution: Addressing disagreements calmly and respectfully, focusing on solutions rather than winning arguments.
Appreciation and Affection: Regularly expressing gratitude and affection to keep the connection strong.
(Johns Hopkins University)
How to prevent Unhealthy Relationships .. prevent DV and have Good ones.:
Be able to identify healthy vs unhealthy relationship
Learn about what is a healthy vs. unhealthy relationship (From healthy sources)
Psychological concepts are not always very well understood. Kepep it simple.
Remember that people are complex and unique.
Respect boundaries
Don't be so controlling
Don't be defensive or unable / unwilling to communicate
Call out unhealhty behaivors ina healthy way.
Don't just disappear --
Own your own bad behavior.
Get perspective
Get out of Denial -- Stay out of Denial
Keep in touch with supports (Healthy supports) (Frinds, trusted adults, support lines, formal suposrts).
Healthy relationship sloook like communication.
Trust. Being abel to be vulnerable, trusting, comfrtable with eiach toher.
SImple things like listening, taking in other people's interests.
Knowing each other's boundaries.
Giving each other tips on how to improve each other.
(_Source)
Videos:
THE IMPACT OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ON LEARNING
Kids Taught to Prevent Domestic Violence
A Strategy for Domestic Violence
Expert shares tips on preventing domestic violence incidents
Prevent Interpersonal Violence
DIscussion Questions:
1. What would be at least one thoughtful -- yet brief response to describe each of these Characteristics (listed below) of a healthy relationship) ?
Core principles of healthy relationships?
Core Values, of healthy relationships?
