Learning How To Be By Myself

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Learning how to be by myself is an essential part of being happy in life.

Even if I have always had people around me, there is still that possibility that one day -- even if it is only for a moment -- I will find myself alone again.  All by myself.  

And I could look at that like a victim and with tremendous sadness.  Or I could look at it as one more paving stone heading back to my garden -- a garden where everything that is growing is a part of me.

Sometimes -- many of us -- do even better by ourselves.  

Some say -- the best thing about being in-between relationships is that we have the opportunity to get to know ourselves again.  

I had to be alone in order to finally hear my own voice again.

I had to spend some time by myself in order to feel myself again. 

Sometimes, we have to think for ourselves -- alone -- JUST for ourselves -- before we can really get our head and our heart back into line.

I have to figure out: "What do I really want?"  

DV AND BEING ALONE:

BY THE WAY -- When it comes to DV -- Many of us are MUCH MUCH Better being able to readily adjust to being on our own.  Why?

  Because some of us are in abusive relationships and we will do better mentally, physically, socially, spiritually and possibly even financially if we are no longer subjected to that abuse.

  "“The most dangerous time for a victim is after she leaves her abuser. Leaving an abusive relationship isn't a matter of courage, but it's a matter of not wanting to die.  According to the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness, 75 percent of homicides related to domestic violence occur after separation.”" (Source.)

  “"Research has shown the risk of domestic homicide becomes highest during the period of separation," said Betty Jo Barrett, an intimate-partner violence researcher and an associate professor in the women's and gender studies program at the University of Windsor.

  "And the intensity of domestic violence escalates when the abused person decides to leave the relationship."

  Many researchers believe it's about power and control, she added.

  When a woman finally says she's leaving the relationship, Barrett explained, abusers may try to escalate their power and control tactics to force the woman to stay.”” (Source.)

THE BENEFITS OF LEARNING TO BE ALONE:

  Learning to be alone has many benefits.

  For example, according to Very Well Mind: "“Spending time alone gives you time to focus on your interests. It's an important part of self-development and allows you to get to know yourself. When you are surrounded by others, you might set your own ideas and passions aside to appease the wants and needs of friends and family.”  “Taking time on your own gives you the opportunity to make creative choices and focus your attention without worrying about what other people are thinking.”  (Source.)

  Very Well mind goes on to say that being alone can help one:

  Boost their creativity

  Develop more Empathy

  Improve Relationships

  

  Very Well Mind even goes far as to suggest that if one is trying to learn how to be alone, the following can be helpful:

  Make a Plan.

  Eliminate Distractions.

  Learn to Value Solitude.  (Source.)

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