"The Courage to Change the Things I Can" in order to Prevent Domestic Violence from Happening in my life... I am going to....

  Assumption: If I am here today because I got a Charge related to Domestic Violence; and/or because I have some sort a glitch that if adjusted properly, I could probably be a lot less likely to have Domestic Violence in my life; then it would probably a great time to consider some sort of change in my life -- A change in the way I handle things such that I don't end up in a similar situation again.  

  Actress Comedian Carol Burnett once said, "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me."

  A good question to ponder; Am I up for some kind of a change?

Speaking of Change:

  Serenity is often thought to be a combination of accepting the things that I cannot change,  I would like to be able to have the serenity to do this... 

     ---- having the Courage to change the things that I can change, 

     ---- and having the Wisdom to know the difference between things I can change and things I cannot change. 

  Rhetorical Question: Which among these is the most important then -- Serenity, Courage, or Wisdom?

Or do we truly need all three of them?  They kind of work together to form one, though right?  We need all three.

  Now, think about a given relationship with potential for Domestic Violence; If having had DV is a Risk Factor, Can I change that Risk Factor?  Or is it permanent?  (One can probably change whether or not the potential is still present.  Or perhaps another way to look at it, is that one can probably change how high one's Risk is for DV in the future.  For example, if alcohol is one's major Risk Factor, then one could change his or her potential for DV by Drinking or Not Drinking Alcohol.)

  What about a given relationship could I possibly change?  Probably almost anything as long as both people want to make a change.  However, if only one person needs to make the change, then it might only take one of the partners to make the changes.  But generally speaking, both partners need to be involved in the change.  And in fact, usually both partners need to make some changes on their own.

  So what does it take to make these changes?   

• A Curiosity about what needs to be changed.  
• (Being willing to ask the question)
• A Desire to make the change.
• Support to help one work through the change. 
• The Knowledge and Skills needed to get through the change.
• The Right Tools for the Change (i.e., Help from others, Patience, Stamina, and perhaps even Courage...).

  In fact, Courage could be the main ingredient needed to make the right change.  But what makes Courage.  What is Courage Made of: 

  Well, Audre Lorde was known to have said, "When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid" (From Inspiring Quotes by Women). 

  Sounds like Change takes Courage, Wisdom and Commitment.

  So what does Courage really have to do with it? 

• Courage makes it easier to get through the good and the bad.
• Courage helps one know when you need help.
• Courage helps ask for help.
• Courage helps one honestly consider and even accept some of the critical ideas of others.
• It takes Courage to really listen to yourself.
• The Serenity and the COURAGE to Accept things things I cannot Change.
• The Wisdom and the COURAGE to Know the Difference between the things I can Change and the things I cannot change.
• The Courage to Change the things that I can Change.  
• The Courage to make the necessary and desired changes that will help one move forward; rather than backwards.

  

Things that one might have the Courage to change might include?

• Quitting Alcohol or Drugs.
• How one handles their Anger.
• One's Attitude.
• One's Peer Group.
• How one Thinks about certain things.
• How one Reacts to certain things.
• How one Feels about certain things.
• One's level of Accountability.
• The degree to which one tries to blame others for their own problems and their own regrettable decisions and behaviors.
• One's Behavior.  The Courage to change how I act.
• What one does or does not do.

So Think about it: What might each type of Courage below look like as one considers making the Changes that one could make in order to Prevent any DV thinking, Feeling or Behavior in the future?

• Physical Courage   -- ???
• Social Courage -- ???
• Moral Courage  -- ???
• Emotional Courage  -- ???
• Intellectual Courage  -- ???
• Spiritual Courage  -- ???