REFERENCE MATERIAL: Problem Solving Process for DV Prevention

REFERENCE MATERIAL: Check out this method for Solving Problems that was offered by the University of IOWA.  

The Following Problem Solving Method is Copied from the University of IOWA Website:

  How might one apply this Problem-Solving Method to Prevention of DV?

  Typically, problems that Couples have  tend to get pretty emotional pretty quickly.  What if we could add just a tiny bit of Logic to the Process of solving such problems before they get us into trouble?

  How might one apply this method to Preventing the DV that I had?

  First: Go back to the time that this DV Offense was developing and up through the Crisis itself.  You kind of have to put yourself back there...

 

 "University of Iowa 8-Step Problem Solving Process (for their Human Resources Department):

Step 1: Define the Problem

• What is the problem?
• How did you discover the problem?
• When did the problem start and how long has this problem been going on? (This particular piece is possibly going to go back for a long time)
• Is (or was) there enough data available to contain the problem and prevent it from getting passed to the next process step? If yes, contain the problem.

Step 2: Clarify the Problem

• What data is available or needed to help clarify, or fully understand the problem?  (This is a very technical analysis of a very personal situation.)
• Is it a top priority to resolve the problem at this point in time?  (Probably was not as high of priority until the crisis point.)
• Are additional resources required to clarify the problem? If yes, elevate the problem to your leader to help locate the right resources and form a team. 

(This is the point where the DV-triggering events might manifest in a very real fashion.)

(Let's the truly Manifests in a Obvious Way right here.. .though it might have been brewing for a very long time.

So here we find ourselves finally really seeing and maybe even redefining the problem... because it is manifesting seemingly rapidly right in front of our eyes and reaching a crisis point...

So how are we gonna solve it?)

Step 3: Define the Goals  (Is it simply to stabilize a crisis, or is it to reach some sort of a consensus with my partner, or even to achieve a total reconciliation?)

  (Caution... at this point -- some partners want to know why and how this happened; while other partners might seem perfectly okay with it...  So there is not alignment at this point -- and that can be a crisis.. when you feel you are NOT on the same page.  And this might present a totally different set of problems -- seemingly divergent from what one thought the problem was... and this can compound it and make the temperature hit the roof....)

• What is your end goal or desired future state (Might be good here to try and   limit yourself to one at a time; and this can be difficult when we are emotional?   So TRY to solve one problem at a time if possible...)
• What will you accomplish if you fix this problem? (Piece of mind -- at least for now...)
• What is the desired timeline for solving this problem?  (Be sure to reach a sense of fairness in all decisions -- meaning BOTH agree...)

Step 4: Identify Root Cause of the Problem  (In DV, Roots typically lie in things such as Communication, Substance Abuse, Anger Issues, Mismatches, Jealousy, and other types of Stressors.)

• Identify possible causes of the problem.  (Remember, NO Blame, Shame or Guilt.. But by all means, be Accountable...  It also helps to always assume that your partner feels are doing the Right Thing.  It's about Respect Always.)
• Prioritize possible root causes of the problem.  (Do this without Blame.)
• What information or data is there to validate the root cause?

Step 5: Develop Action Plan

• Generate a list of actions required to address the root cause and prevent problem from getting (worse).  (Remember, Consensus here...)
• (Agree upon) an owner and timeline to each action.
• Status actions to ensure completion.

Step 6: Execute Action Plan

• Implement action plan to address the root cause.
• Verify actions are completed.

Step 7: Evaluate the Results

• Monitor and Collect Data.  (How are you getting along now regarding this problem?  What worked?  And What didn't ?)
• Did you meet your goals defined in step 3? If not, repeat the 8-Step Process. 
• Were there any unforeseen consequences?  (Their might be... You need to be sure to check-in with each other about this. Both need to be fine with it.)

Step 8: Continuously Improve  (Always be open for Collaborative Improvement of your Relationship.)

• Look for additional opportunities to implement solution.
• Ensure problem will not come back and communicate lessons learned.  (Do this nicely.  This is NOT about Blame, Shame or Guilt.)
• If needed, repeat the 8-Step Problem Solving Process to drive further improvements."

(Source.)  (The Green lettering was added by Dr. B.)