Sometimes it's more about who we picked, how we picked them and why we picked them; than it is about things we did after we picked them.

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   Sometimes it's more about who we picked, how we picked them and why we picked them; than it is about things we did after we picked them.  

  A lot of times, at first it seems wonderful; and it may only grow in good ways from that point forward.

  But other times, we eventually find a sense of remorse about our choice.

  So how do we get into these messes?  

  Even just a brief AI-based search may shed some light on this. 

Mate Selection:

  "Mate selection in humans is a complex process influenced by both biological and social factors. Individuals are drawn to potential partners based on a combination of physical attractiveness, perceived intelligence, and shared values. Ultimately, mate choice is a personal decision shaped by individual preferences and cultural norms. 

Factors influencing mate selection:

Physical attractiveness:  Individuals often seek partners they perceive as attractive, influenced by evolutionary cues like symmetry and health. 

  (Facial Symmetry and Morphic/Body Symmetry matter).

Intelligence:  Both sexes tend to value intelligence in a partner, potentially reflecting the benefits of cognitive ability in resource acquisition and child rearing. 

Shared values:  Similarity in beliefs, values, and life goals can lead to greater compatibility and lasting relationships. 

Social standing:  Economic status, social class, and other markers of success can influence mate preferences, especially in societies where these factors are highly valued. 

Cultural norms:  Social and cultural factors, such as endogamy (marrying within one's group) or exogamy (marrying outside one's group), can significantly shape mate selection practices. 

Personal preferences:  Ultimately, individuals have unique preferences and criteria for selecting a partner, influenced by their experiences, personality, and desired relationship outcomes. 

Evolutionary perspective:  Evolutionary theory suggests that humans are driven to select mates who exhibit traits associated with good genes, health, and resource-providing ability. 

Females may be more likely to choose partners who demonstrate resources, intelligence, or other traits indicating long-term investment potential. 

Males may compete for access to females or seek mates who can provide resources or maintain a high-quality home environment. 

In conclusion, mate selection is a multifaceted process influenced by a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors. While some universal traits are valued across cultures, individual preferences and societal norms play a crucial role in shaping the choices individuals make when seeking a partner."

Video: "Why You're Attracted to Certain People" (Physiological view)

Video: "Why Are We Attracted to Certain People?"

How To Choose A Mate:    "How to Choose a Mate

Mate selection criteria exposed.

Posted November 25, 2009

  "What to look for in a mate? Have you chosen wisely? With respect to this issue, there are probably five factors in mate selection (choosing your life partner) that everyone uses - whether knowing it or not:

1. Mind: Is what he or she says interesting to you?

2. Eye: Does she or he appeal to your eye?

3. Heart: Does your heart feel love, and loved?

4. Stomach: In your gut, does it feel like he or she is a good person?

5. Behavior: Is her or his behavior good?

  Which of these factors do you think is the most important so that if that point was missing, the relationship would probably be doomed from the beginning?  It's clear that some people are only smitten if the person is brainy, and others if the person pleases and nourishes the eye. Still others are taken solely with being loved by the other so that the heart feels loved. In addition, there are those who need someone who is sincere and who conveys a sense of ‘goodness,' and that's all that seems to count. For some, the most important quality in choosing a mate is that the person's behavior should be good.

Of course, many people seek more than one of these qualities, and that clinches it for them; finally, many people want all of them.

However, in all likelihood, one of these factors is the one that can contribute most to the potential viability and longevity of the relationship. Number 5 is it - behavior, behavior, behavior. Character is behavior and vice versa. Without good behavior the relationship has a poor chance of working. For example, the person could be very bright and very attractive, you could feel loved by the person, and love the person, and you can see that the person is good and always means well. But if the person is an alcoholic and behaves in a way that facilitates that sort of addiction then the relationship would have a very poor chance, a poor prognosis.

Therefore, no matter what the person says or hopes to be, it's what the behavior is that tells the story.

From: Love Is Not Enough: What It Takes To Make It Work

 (Psychology Today has an Article about How to Choose a Mate: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/thinking-matters/200911/how-to-choose-a-mate)