Think about it: What would you do if??? How might you feel if....??? What would you need ... ??? What you gonna do when... ??? What would you think if... ???
-- What would you say if your partner became angry over something they thought you said or did and they then proceeded to call you every name in the book? What would you think? What would you say?
Maybe there is not always an easy answer to every situation...
-- What would you feel if your partner told you that they were thinking about giving up on the relationship with you because they were not feeling like you loved them enough or in the right way(s)? What would you think? What would you say? What would you do?
-- What would you want if your partner refused to carry their fair share of the load around the house or in the workplace or with the kids -- or worse still; what would you feel if you partner was constantly bitter toward you in front of the kids -- calling you names -- putting you down -- although you work 3 jobs to help keep them all sheltered, fed and clothed? What would you feel?
-- Just exactly HOW LONG could you put up with this without wanting to kill somebody? (Trigger warning -- Don't go killing anybody.)
(Try talking to them??? Perhaps suggest Therapy??? (in a really nice gentle Therapy...).
- What are some ways I could successfully navigate a situation like this without using Power and Control? Like Without even a hint of Power and Control?
- If you response here is "I don't know....." Then you're on the right track.
- Question -- Where is the POTENTIAL for Power and Control here??? Haw can I successfully navigate this situation without using (or excusing) Power and Control?
-- What would you need if your partner told a really big lie and the proof was sitting right there in front of you. And when you confronted them about it; they said it was "none of your damn business!"???
- If you response here is "I don't know....." Then you're on the right track.
- Question -- Where is the POTENTIAL for Power and Control here??? Haw can I successfully navigate this situation without using (or excusing) Power and Control?
Chances are, Domestic Violence has been occurring in various places around the Planet for millennia. Let that sink in...
Consequently, there are numerous ideas about how DV starts, what DV is about, why it happens, how it builds up, and what it leads to. However, no single set of ideas related to the various properties of DV has more credibility among DV Offender Treatment Providers and DV Victim Advocates than the concepts contained in the Power and Control Wheels (as developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project in Duluth, Minnesota, some decades ago.)
One might explain the Power and Control Dynamic in the following way: In many cases, the primary component is one choosing in a split second or over time to try and use power to try and gain control over something or someone in the relationship; or it is one choosing in a split second or over time to try and use control to try and gain power over something or someone in the relationship.
These wheels provide a very brief, and easy-to-comprehend set of behaviors that tend to lead to, constitute, or end in Domestic Violence. Please see these wheels below:
The Power and Control Wheel provides substance for a proscriptive backbone for interventions for Domestic Violence Prevention.
Click here to view a modified Power and Control Wheel.
The Equality Wheel provides substance for a prescriptive pathway toward Domestic Violence Prevention.
Click here to view the Equality Wheel.
The Duluth Model Explained
For Men who are Abuse, Listen to this
Please Tell Us About Your Experience Studying of The Power & Control Wheel and The Equality Wheel.
One might explain the Power and Control Dynamic in the following way: In many cases, the primary component is one choosing in a split second or over time to try and use power to try and gain control over something or someone in the relationship; or it is one choosing in a split second or over time to try and use control to try and gain power over something or someone in the relationship.
These wheels provide a very brief, and easy-to-comprehend set of behaviors that tend to lead to, constitute, or end in Domestic Violence. Please see these wheels below:
The Power and Control Wheel provides substance for a proscriptive backbone for interventions for Domestic Violence Prevention.
Click here to view a modified Power and Control Wheel.
The Equality Wheel provides substance for a prescriptive pathway toward Domestic Violence Prevention.
Click here to view the Equality Wheel.
The Duluth Model Explained
For Men who are Abuse, Listen to this
Please Tell Us About Your Experience Studying of The Power & Control Wheel and The Equality Wheel.
(Originally Posted 4/20/2021)
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