Monday, March 31, 2025

What is Jealousy? How does Jealousy get to where it seems so Powerful? And why is Jealousy so prevalent in Relationships that have Domestic Violence?

 Jealousy --

  "What does jealous mean? To be jealous is to feel resentment, bitterness, or hostility toward someone because they have something that you don't. This feeling or the state of feeling this way is called jealousy." (Source).

  "Jealousy is the feeling of anger or bitterness that someone has when they think that another person is trying to take a lover or friend, or a possession, away from them." (Source).

  "an unhappy or angry feeling caused by the belief that someone you love (such as your husband or wife) likes or is liked by someone else a marriage ruined by infidelity and jealousy"

  "He was driven crazy with jealousy."

  "He was unable to control his jealousies." (Source).

   How prevalent is Jealousy in Domestic Violence Relationships?

  There is some helpful guidance regarding Jealousy in the article: "Lethality Indicators Possessiveness over victim or severe/morbid jealousy"

  "In a national study on risk of intimate partner homicide, victims of completed or attempted femicide experienced abuse by a partner who controlled all of their activities in 60 percent of cases (Campbell, 2017). The same study revealed that of abusers in those cases, 79 percent were violently jealous, making statements such as “If I can’t have you, no one can.” Georgia’s Project data supports the national findings that severe possessiveness of the victim and intense jealousy are precursors to potentially lethal abuse. In cases reviewed by the Project, perpetrators who went on to kill the victim were known to express attitudes of ownership over the victim 26 percent of the time." (Source).

  "Jealousy is like something that almost always ends up with almost everything feeling bad -- negative, sorrowful, sad, angry, hurt, lost, confused, devastated, and with all that said; it can also -- and often does -- lead to serious tragedy.  And the pain is frequently shared on all sides -- albeit by that point, the people on all sides may not even be talking to each other any more.  

  In other words, Jealousy often causes tremendous pain and in the meantime, it tends to destroy or at least deplete our supply of supports.

  When someone acts out of jealousy, they are essentially saying, "I don't trust you."

  Whereas, their motivation for their jealousy might be as simple as their own insecurity.  But it's projected onto you.

  And perhaps of all, when people are trying to defend themselves against a jealous "partner", they often say of the alleged "Lover", "Oh, we're just friends."  -- As if being is meaningless... worthless... When in fact, many of us probably treasure our friendships more than some of our lovers.  

  

So, What does Jealousy have to do with Domestic Violence?

  Is there a link between Jealousy and DV?

Here is an article: "The Green-Eyed Monster" 

"Jealousy is a complex and often intense emotion that can manifest in a wide range of relationships. Stemming from a potent mix of fear and insecurity, jealousy can be triggered by anything from a flirtatious co-worker to a new job opportunity.

In romantic relationships, jealousy doesn’t always mean that abuse is coming – but it can be a warning sign of something much more dangerous.

From the green-eyed monster to white-hot rage, this article will explore the link between jealousy and domestic abuse, and how to identify problematic behaviours in your relationship.


How can jealousy lead to violence?

While mild feelings of jealousy are common in relationships, it can become a major red flag in the context of an abusive relationship.

Abusers often use jealousy as a tool for control, monitoring their partner’s every move and isolating them from family and friends. This controlling behaviour can escalate quickly, leading to emotional and physical abuse.

In some cases, jealousy can spiral into violent behaviour, leading to tragic outcomes such as domestic violence, and even homicide. Regrettably, incidents of domestic and family violence are on the rise, as evidenced by the Queensland Police Service responding to 138,871 occurrences of such violence in the community during the 2021/22 Financial Year.


The cycle of violence

Jealousy can play a significant role in perpetuating the cycle of violence in an abusive relationship. In the early stages, an abusive partner may look for any reason to start a fight, often resorting to possessiveness, jealousy and attempts to control the other person’s behaviour.

These actions can intensify tensions and escalate into physical, emotional, or verbal abuse in the next phase. At times, the abuser may express remorse and seek forgiveness, using apologies, gifts, or promises to convince the victim to stay in the relationship.

It’s a vicious cycle that repeats itself, with jealousy and possessiveness present in each phase. Recognising these signs early on and seeking help to break the cycle of violence can be a crucial step towards your safety and well-being.


The red flags of jealousy

Identifying these behaviours in a romantic relationship and noting they are problematic is an incredibly difficult thing to do. However, it is up to all of us to recognise the potential signs of relationship abuse (and support those who are experiencing it). Some of these early warning signs include a partner:

  • Monitoring your every move
  • Expecting immediate responses to texts and calls
  • Isolating you from family and friends
  • Belittling or controlling your behaviour
  • Blaming you for their actions or emotions
  • Using threats or intimidation to control you

Ultimately, if you find yourself changing your behaviour so that the person you’re dating doesn’t become angry, that is a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship.


Case Study: Problematic behaviour in a relationship

While physical abuse is often recognisable, it’s important to note that domestic violence can manifest in many other forms. Emotional abuse, for example, may involve a partner who displays jealous behaviours, disguising them as caring or protective actions.

This case of a young woman who wrote into an Australian newsletter column asking for advice about her controlling and jealous boyfriend, serves as an example of how jealousy can be a form of emotional abuse.

“He gets angry when I speak to any other man, he won’t let me wear certain clothing, and he is extremely opposed to my close friendship with a guy at my work. I have to tell him everything I’m doing, and where I’m going, and it just suffocates me.

It’s so hard because my family loves him and he’s such a lovely person. He loves me so much and does absolutely everything for me. When it’s good, it’s great. I am his whole world, so I have this sense of guilt if I ever were to leave, and I just don’t know what to do.”

The woman recognised that her boyfriend's behaviour was problematic, but felt guilty about leaving him because he loved her. Importantly, she also felt like she couldn't talk to anyone about the situation; this feeling of isolation is a common tactic of abusers, who want to control every aspect of their partner's life.

It’s also important to recognise that an abuser is not necessarily going to be someone who treats other people poorly in front of you. While there are no set characteristics that all abusers share, they are typically skilled at presenting a charming facade to the outside world.


How to deal with jealousy in a relationship

When jealousy becomes pervasive and intense, it has the potential to become harmful.

If you recognise the signs of jealousy and coercive control in a relationship, you can seek help. This could mean reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or professional, or contacting domestic violence hotlines or other resources for support and guidance.


There are many resources available, such as Relationships Australia at 1300 364 277, DVConnect Womensline at 1800 811 811, DVConnect Mensline at 1800 600 636, and 1800 RESPECT at 1800 737 732.

If you are in immediate danger, contact your local emergency service.

Remember that everyone has the right to feel safe in their home – and help is always available.

From controlling behaviours to something just feeling a bit ‘off’, the red flags of domestic violence and coercive control present themselves in different ways for different people. Learn how to spot the red flags of domestic violence in your own relationship – or someone else’s."  (Source.)


What are some of the Motivations of Jealousy?

   According to Psychology Today, "Jealousy in relationships can be caused by various factors", Including":

"Low self-esteem

Insecurity

Obsessive overthinking

Paranoia

Fear of abandonment or betrayal

Desire for control

Unrealistic expectations

Past hurtful experiences

Feelings of anxiety, depression, or low self-worth"  ()


According to:  3 Prime Reasons Why People Get Jealous

How to tell if your suspicions may be legitimate.

Posted September 23, 2014 |  Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

"Key points: While most people experience jealousy on a very occasional and mild basis, others feel it to a pathological degree.

Research finds that men are more jealous about physical infidelity while women are more jealous about emotional infidelity.
One of the three prime reasons people get jealous includes the inability to handle "the unknown."

A little jealousy in a romantic relationship is undoubtedly natural. Certainly, each of us has felt an uncomfortable jealous twinge at some point in a relationship. We feel jealous in such moments because of our sense that a cherished connection we have with another person is threatened, and our fear that a loved one may find someone else to replace us.

While most people experience jealousy on a very occasional and mild basis, others feel it to a pathological degree. For such extremely jealous individuals, their jealousy almost always leads to the end of relationships.

Evolutionary psychologists have spent years researching jealousy. In her review of the literature, Harris (2004) writes that evolutionary psychologists suggest that jealousy might have given a “fitness advantage” for men and women. More specifically, Buss (1995) concluded that a specific set of brain circuits determines a jealous reaction, and found that men were more jealous about physical infidelity while women were more jealous about emotional infidelity.

I appreciate researchers' efforts to uncover gender differences in jealousy because gender differences are often—if not always—at work. Yet in my clinical work with men and women, which often focuses on relationship issues, I have found several types of destructive jealousy among both men and women. Take a look below and see if you’ve had experience with someone who presents any of these types:

Insecurity: Hands down, insecurity is the most common source of jealousy. People often throw around the term "inferiority complex," which is not a clinical term, but refers to an underlying impoverished ego or low self-esteem—a jealous man who feels insecure in his romantic relationships, for example, does not feel confident that he is good and valuable enough to keep another person interested in him over time.

It’s important to note that insecurity is usually not absolute in men and women. In other words, a woman may be bright and highly effective at work as a high-powered lawyer, though her psychopathology (getting jealous) comes out in her romantic relationships. Overall, is she an insecure woman? No, but she has the capacity to become deeply jealous in her romantic relationships.

Obsessive Thinking: A recent female client of mine in her late 20s, whom I’ll call Maryanne, finds herself feeling jealous in almost every relationship she has. Clinically, she also meets several criteria for obsessive-compulsive disorder though she doesn’t meet the criteria for the full diagnosis. Maryanne’s brain tends to work on perpetual overtime, always generating new anxieties and worries. Because this is her general thinking style, her tendency to overthink and obsess about things inevitably seeps into every one of her romantic relationships.

For obsessive types, the hardest thing in the world to manage is uncertainty, aka The Unknown. While most people can handle a fair amount of uncertainty, when Maryanne’s boyfriend comes home late, she can’t tolerate the unknown (why he's late, what he’s been doing). When she feels uncertain about where her boyfriend is, her mind fills in the blanks and generates answers, many of which are negative. Very often, she comes up with facts created out of thin air about her boyfriend’s probable infidelity—and then feels extremely anxious and jealous. If she didn’t have an obsessive cognitive style, she would be a lot less jealous.

Paranoid Personality: Many men and women I’ve worked with get jealous, but their jealousy actually stems from an overall paranoid approach to many things in life. While paranoia at the most severe end of the spectrum takes the form of the schizophrenia-paranoid type, the vast majority of paranoid individuals fall toward the milder end of this spectrum. Many men and women have some paranoid characteristics but their paranoia isn’t severe enough to meet the diagnosis of a full-blown paranoid disorder.

Men and women with mild or moderate paranoia have great difficulty trusting others and often infer malicious intent to others’ motives. They frequently have a personality type that leads them to feel victimized and persecuted, frequently feeling that others are out to get them. They often feel that others are trying to sabotage them, their goals, or their career. They also often perceive that others have put them down, rejected them, or patronized them, even when witnesses tell them otherwise. Finally, men and women with a paranoid personality style are often blamers, assigning blame to others as opposed to looking inward and accepting accountability for their own flaws or mistakes. Too often, they get jealous and grasp onto a strong belief that their partner is cheating—and no amount of evidence can convince them otherwise.

Reality: If you ask a jealous person whether he or she was justified in feeling jealous, he would probably cite several examples where jealousy was actually founded in fact. In other words, a partner really was cheating, or truly did betray him! The question becomes: Is there a pattern of jealousy, or is this an isolated incident? A person can accurately be labeled a jealous person if she (or he) has a history of becoming jealous with multiple partners, many or all of whom did not actually do anything to justify it. If you are in a relationship with someone who’s triggering intense feelings of jealousy in you, ask yourself if you have felt jealous with other partners in the past, or if these feelings stem exclusively from your current relationship.

If you don’t have a history of being jealous, odds are that your jealous feelings in your current relationship aren’t actually a problem. In fact, it might be that your instincts are signaling that you are in a relationship with someone you might not be able to trust. In this situation, you aren’t becoming "the jealous type"; you're more concerned and distrustful. Having a partner label you as jealous when you don’t have a history of jealousy is a sign that your feelings are being mislabeled. In such a case, you’re not jealous; you’re justifiably worried.

Conclusion: The next time a partner engages in jealous-type behavior with you, remember to put the behaviors and feelings in context by considering whether the jealousy is new, or whether it reflects a longstanding pattern. If you’re in a relationship with someone who has a history of getting jealous, understand that the root of this type of behavior—insecurity, obsessiveness, or a paranoid personality—is not going away anytime soon. Working through such deeply rooted issues takes a lot of time and frequently requires intensive psychotherapy. If you have a partner who is willing to go to therapy to deal with these issues head-on, the relationship may be worth keeping; if not, you need to be clear about what you can and cannot put up with in the future. Without clear boundaries, men and women who get jealous can be very bad for your mental health."  (Source.)



How to Prevent Jealousy -- To prevent jealousy, consider the following tips -- or How to Stop Being Jealous: 15 Tips according to Choosing Therapy.com:

    1. "Practice mindfulness meditation to reflect and take things slowly.
    2. Be honest about your feelings and acknowledge jealousy.
    3. Determine the cause of your jealousy.
    4. Seek social support.
    5. Practice gratitude.
    6. Address underlying issues.
    7. Focus on improving your self-esteem and confidence.
    8. Use thought-stopping techniques to catch yourself when feeling jealous.
      • Watch your favorite show or find other distractions.
      • Exercise to release tension.
      • Put your feelings into words.
      • Focus on your strengths."
Other Ideas might include:

1. "Be Patient:  Sometimes, jealousy stems from feeling out of control in situations. We may envy those who have already achieved similar goals, passing and evolving past us. However, remind yourself that everyone moves at a different pace. Staying present with yourself in the current moment can help you accept your current circumstances and feel hopeful for your future.

2. Reflect on Your Jealousy & Make Changes:  Our emotions alert us about inner problems and experiences. For example, your jealousy may indicate where you have unresolved pain or something you greatly desire. Reflecting on what jealousy is trying to tell you may help you heal the issues behind these feelings, make improvements, and find self-acceptance.

3. Practice Self-Love & Compassion:  Struggling with jealousy is easy when you cannot see the good things about yourself. Lack of self-love and grace means you will always feel unworthy, which sets the stage for jealousy. Learning to love yourself will help you challenge and balance jealousy when you feel overwhelmed by envy.

4. Identify Your Triggers:  Experiencing jealousy without recognizing the cause means missing opportunities to manage jealousy in the future. Reflecting on the events that preceded these feelings can help you work backward through the situations to build awareness. When you know your triggers, you can address the underlying issue and respond differently in the future.

5. Build Emotional Intimacy: Focus on building emotional intimacy in a relationship to reduce your feelings of insecurity. Your sense of safety and stability increases when you feel more connected with a person. You can communicate more directly and clearly about your needs and hopes for the relationship. All of these things can reduce your feelings of jealousy.2

6. Revisit Your Expectations: Sometimes, we get jealous because we set unrealistic expectations for ourselves and our relationships. When we do this, we subconsciously compare the current moment to the ideal expectations we have created within our minds. Revise your standards if you constantly and consistently feel jealous about a specific person or situation. No individual is perfect, and setting yourself up for failure will only exacerbate your envy.

7. Recognize the Impacts of Jealousy: Unchecked jealousy rages and wreaks havoc on our relationships and self-esteem. We have little motivation to tackle uncomfortable emotions and situations if we cannot recognize the impacts of jealousy. When you identify what you may lose if you do not address your jealousy directly, you are much more likely to take active steps toward managing and working through the causes of your envy.

8. Forgive & Let Go: Holding on to past events and insecurities contributing to jealousy will only erode your relationships. Permit yourself to forgive someone and move forward if they have taken the necessary steps to apologize and work on themselves.* Doing so can be invaluable when letting go of jealousy."  (Source).


121 Jealousy Quotes to Inspire People in Life and Relationship

Deep Jealousy Quotes in Relationships and Love

“He that is not jealous is not in love.” — Saint Augustine

“Jealousy is the worst enemy of a happy relationship.” — Unknown

“Jealousy is the sister of love, as the devil is the brother of angels.” — Saint Augustine

“Jealousy is always born with love but does not always die with it.” — Francois de La Rochefoucauld

“Jealousy springs more from love of self than from love of another.” — François de La Rochefoucauld

“Jealousy is not so much the love of another as it is the love of ourselves.” — Francois de La Rochefoucauld

“Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretense of keeping it alive.” — Havelock Ellis

“Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other.” — Robert A. Heinlein

“Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening.” — Maya Angelou

Jealousy is a powerful emotion that can cloud our judgment and strain our relationships, but it also offers valuable insights into our desires and insecurities.

By confronting and understanding jealousy, we can turn it into a force for personal growth and self-reflection.

In this post, we have gathered 121 inspiring quotes about jealousy in life and relationship – some offering wisdom on overcoming it, others shedding light on its complexities.

Let these words encourage you to rise above envy and cultivate a mindset focused on gratitude, self-love, and empowerment.


Inspiring Quotes of Jealousy in Life

“Jealousy is a dog’s bark which attracts thieves.” — Karl Kraus

“Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius.” — Fulton J. Sheen

“Jealousy injures us with the dagger of self-doubt.” — Terri Guillemets

“Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.” — Helen Rowland

“Jealousy is the fear of losing something that you value.” — Nurudeen Ushawu

“Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.” — Robert A. Heinlein

“Jealousy, that jumble of secret worship and ostensible aversion.” — Emile M. Cioran

“Jealousy is an awkward homage which inferiority renders to merit.” — Madame de Puysieux

“To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is, a dissatisfaction with self.” — Joan Didion

“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.” — William Penn

“Jealousy is, I think, the worst of all faults because it makes a victim of both parties.” — Gene Tierney


 Jealousy Bitterness Quotes for Haters

“Let your haters be your motivators.”

“Jealousy is a form of hatred built upon insecurity.”

“The only time I’m not jealous is when I’m winning.”

“Jealousy is a crutch that weak men use to prop themselves up.”

“Jealousy is just someone realizing they want to be you, but it’s too late.”

“It is not that I’m jealous of your success. It’s that I’m annoyed it wasn’t mine first.”

“Don’t hate me because I am fabulous. Hate me because I’m winning and you’re not.”

“Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time… but mostly hate when you’re losing.”

“People only rain on your parade because they’re jealous of your sun and tired of their shade.”

“I don’t get jealous. I just aggressively compare myself to everyone and feel slightly bitter about it.”

“It’s sad how some people are so jealous and intimidated by you that they only have negative things to say when they know absolutely nothing about you.”

“Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time.” — Drake

“Jealousy is a mixture of love, hatred, and insecurity.” — Salvador Dali

“The jealous bring down the curse they fear upon their own heads.” — Dorothy Dix

“Never hate jealous people. They are jealous because they think you are better than them.” — Paulo Coelho

“Jealousy is never satisfied with anything short of an omniscience that would detect the subtlest fold of the heart.” — George Eliot

“Jealousy sees things always with magnifying glasses which make little things large, of dwarfs giants, of suspicions truths.” — Miguel de Cervantes    (SOURCE.)





Friday, March 28, 2025

Improving our Relationships; through the use of The Healthy Relationship Checklist

***  DRAFT POST.  PLEASE DO NOT COPY 

OR PRINT OR QUOTE.  ***

Improving our Relationships; through the  use of The Healthy Relationship Checklist

  What does a Healthy Relationship look like?  That is a Good Question.

GREAT QUESTION!!!

  Perhaps it would look like Respect, Kindness, Communication, Love, Sharing, Playing Nice, (Reciprocation or  Symbiosis): Giving, Receiving and Mutual Benefit...  Altruism, Friendship, Caring, Patience, Acceptance, Occasional Selflessness, Offering Encouragement, Voluntary, Listening with Non-Judgementalness, Understanding their Feelings, Caring about their feelings, Accountability, Willful Openness, Ability and Willingness to Change, Respecting and Setting Healthy Boundaries, No-Shaming, No-Blaming, and No-Guilt Whipping, Playfulness, Laughing together, Sharing Joy, Giving or Helping Together, Supportiveness (especially through Grieving times as well as Celebrations), Loyalty and Honesty, Security, Commitment, Protectiveness, Acknowledgement, Not keeping Grudges, A Relationship Creede (The Foundation Pillars of the strengths and bonds that you shared and a list of commandments that keep that in place), Self-Discipline, Sexual Fairness, Being Secure in One's Self, Trust Your Partner, Contribute to your Trust-Bond, Be Grateful for your time with your Partner, Passionate, Develop Healthy Coping Skills Together or Separately, Each Partner is Almost Willing and Able to allow the other Partner Plenty of Space, Being able to Confide in Each Other, Rely on each other, Willingness and Ability and Commitment to Caring for the other even when they cannot care for themselves, To Love Each Other Unconditionally, Bring Willing and Able Give Time without expecting a return, To give each other respect unconditionally, To let go of all Grudges as quickly as you can, To be able to care about your partner continuously without questioning her sense of Morality.  

Monday, March 17, 2025

DV IN The News -- AGAIN!!! (Saint Patrick's Day, 2025)

 Domestic Violence In The News -- AGAIN!!!  

(Saint Patrick's Day, 2025!!!)

"DV In the News: Texas brute charged with beating wife to death with iron, dumping her dogs on the highway"  (SOURCE).

"A deranged Texas man is due in court Monday on allegations that he beat his wife to death with a clothing iron — after stealing her four pet dogs and dumping them on the freeway.

Chance Zane Chavez, 34, was hit with murder charges after police showed up at the couple’s Houston home last week and found him drenched in blood and the body of his battered 32-year-old wife, Kristen Chavez, in the bedroom, according to police.

“Even though it was not a good situation, [she was] staying in it, hoping that things will change,” her heartbroken mother, Laura Bell, told KRIV-TV News of the relationship. “We’re hoping that he remains in jail until the trial and throughout the trial for him to be held accountable for what he’s done.”

"Police said Chance Chavez’s alleged night of terror began hours before he was arrested when he allegedly stole his wife’s four dogs and abandoned them on the side of the Katy Freeway. 

One of the pups, a dachshund named Peaches, has yet to be found, KRIV reported."

"Then, shortly before 7:30 a.m. Wednesday, police were called to the couple’s house in Houston’s Central Northwest neighborhood to find the accused killer in the doorway with his hands up and blood splattered on his arms, legs and clothing, according to the outlet.

Kristen Chavez, who had blunt force trauma to her body, was pronounced dead at the scene. Police believe her husband used a clothing iron to repeatedly strike her, the local outlet reported."

"Kristen Chavez’s family said her dogs that he allegedly discarded like trash were “her babies” because she didn’t have children, and said three of the dogs were later found by friends and volunteers — but Peaches remains on the loose.

“We’ve just been putting it out there and even going into the neighborhoods seeking to see if anyone has seen her,” Bell said, adding that finding the other pets “was like a miracle.”

"Chance Chavez was booked on murder charges and ordered held at the Harris County Jail on a $250,000 bond and is due to return to court on Monday.

If you or someone you know is affected by any of the issues raised in this story, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788."  

(SOURCE).

 

 

DV In the News: "Xavier Worthy, wide receiver for the Kansas City Chiefs, arrested on domestic assault charge" - CBS News  (Source).

"Kansas City Chiefs wide receiver Xavier Worthy was released from jail Saturday and won't face domestic assault charges following his arrest on Friday. 

According to a jail record from the Williamson County Sheriff's Office, Worthy, 21, was arrested in Georgetown, Texas, on Friday.

He was taken into custody on a count of third-degree felony assault of impeding the breathing, or choking, a family or household member, according to jail records, but prosecutors spoke to witnesses and declined to press charges at this time, the Associated Press reported. 

Williamson County District Attorney Shawn Dick told local the Austin American-Statesman that his office was not accepting the case at this time, adding that the NFL star was fully cooperating with the investigation.

Worthy's attorneys, Chip Lewis and Sam Bassett, told CBS News in a statement to CBS News that Worthy was innocent and that the allegation was made by a woman who had been living in his Texas home. They said she had been asked to leave the house multiple times in the last two weeks "upon discovery of her infidelity.

"She has refused to vacate the residence and made a number of extortive efforts prior to resorting to this baseless allegation against Mr. Worthy," the statement said. "The complainant further destroyed a room in the residence, scratched Mr. Worthy's face and ripped out parts of his hair, which there is photographic evidence of. Worthy told law enforcement at the time of the incident he did not want to press charges against the complainant."

Other details about the incident leading up to Worthy's arrest were not immediately available.

Worthy was initially accused of "intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly impeding the normal breathing or circulation of the blood of the person by applying pressure to the person's throat or neck or by blocking the person's nose or mouth," CBS News affiliate KCTV reported. The charge carries a sentence of two to 10 years in prison, the Associated Press reported. 

A spokesperson for the NFL told CBS News that the league was aware of the matter and has been in contact with the club. The Chiefs has not responded to CBS News' request for comment.

Worthy was selected with the 28th pick in the first round of the 2024 NFL draft, KCTV said. As a rookie, he recorded 59 receptions for 638 yards, 104 rushing yards and nine total touchdowns, according to statistics shared by ESPN. During playoffs, he became the team's leading receiver, KCTV said. He played in the Super Bowl against the Philadelphia Eagles in New Orleans. 

Worthy was born in Fresno, California and played for the Longhorns at the University of Texas before joining the NFL. Williamson County includes parts of Austin."  (Source).



 "DV In the News: Georgia dentist accused of gunning down her boyfriend" (SOURCE).

"Female Georgia dentist from wealthy coastal enclave accused of killing boyfriend

Mericle is accused of fatally shooting her boyfriend with a handgun in the bedroom of a Gainesville home"

"A dentist practicing in St. Simons Island, Georgia, is accused of fatally shooting her boyfriend in a home in Gainesville, a suburban town northeast of Atlanta.

The Hall County Sheriff's Office has charged Suzanne Renee Mericle, 61, with murder, tampering with evidence, aggravated assault against a spouse or family member, possession of a firearm in the commission of a crime, obstruction or resisting, driving under the influence and a traffic-related charge.

Authorities with the sheriff's office initially responded to a home off of Bayridge Drive in Gainesville at approximately 1:15 a.m. on March 8.

Deputies located an unresponsive man, later identified as 68-year-old David Barron, in a bedroom. He had been shot in the torso, according to the sheriff's office.

"The two were in a relationship and lived together at the residence. Mericle was at home when the deputies arrived," the sheriff's office said in a press release posted to Facebook.

Mericle owns a dental practice in the wealthy, coastal Georgia town of St. Simons Island, a popular vacation destination among Georgia locals and out-of-state visitors alike. Mericle Dentistry has a 4.8-star rating on Google with 180 reviews, and the practice's slogan is, "Anything is possible with a Miracle."  (Source).



"DV In the news: Attacker sets a woman on fire on a train in eastern Germany and flees - CBS News"  (Source).

"An assailant poured a liquid over a woman on a tram in eastern Germany on Sunday and set her on fire, police said. The woman was taken to a hospital with life-threatening injuries, while the attacker fled.

Police said no other people were hurt in the incident in the eastern city of Gera, German news agency dpa reported. Passengers stopped the tram by pressing an emergency button, and the assailant took the opportunity to flee.

The tram driver immediately began to extinguish the flames, and the 46-year-old woman was taken to a hospital by helicopter.

Police were searching for the assailant. It wasn't immediately clear what prompted the attack, or what exactly the liquid was." (Source).



"DV In The News: 2 men arrested in India in connection to gang rape of Israeli woman and local host - CBS News"  (SOURCE).

"Two men in southern India were arrested in connection to the gang rape of two women and the drowning death of a man, officials said Saturday.

An Israeli tourist and her homestay host were stargazing with three male travelers - an American and two Indians - in Koppal town in southern Karnataka state on Thursday night, police official Ram L. Arasiddi said.

According to an initial investigation, three men on a motorbike approached them, asking for money. Following arguments, the three men pushed the male travelers into a nearby water canal and sexually assaulted the two women, Arasiddi said.

He said one of the Indian tourists drowned and his body was recovered on Saturday, adding that the American and another Indian swam to safety.

Koppal is about 217 miles from Bengaluru, India's startup and technology powerhouse.

Arasiddi said police set up a special investigation team that arrested two out of the three suspects on Saturday. They were being investigated on suspicion of attempted murder, gang rape and robbery, he said.

Sexual assaults on women have become familiar in India, where police recorded 31,516 rape cases in 2022, a 20% increase from 2021, according to the National Crime Records Bureau. That's an average of about 90 rapes per day, CBS News previously reported, and the real figure is believed to be far higher due to the stigma surrounding sexual violence and victims' lack of faith in police. 

Rape and sexual violence have been under the spotlight since the brutal 2012 gang rape and killing of a 23-year-old student on a New Delhi bus. The attack galvanized massive protests and inspired lawmakers to order the creation of fast-track courts dedicated to rape cases and stiffen penalties.

The rape law was amended in 2013, criminalizing stalking and voyeurism and lowering the age at which a person can be tried as an adult from 18 to 16. The government in 2018 approved the death penalty for people convicted of raping children under age 12.

Despite stringent laws, it's rare for more than a few weeks to pass without another brutal sexual assault being reported.

High-profile cases involving foreign visitors have drawn international attention to the issue. A man who killed and raped an Irish tourist at a hotel in 2017 was found guilty in 2025 and sentenced to life in prison. Last year, in a video that was later deleted, a Spanish tourist said his wife was raped in northern India while an Indian-American woman said she was raped at a hotel in New Delhi. In 2022, a British tourist was raped in front of her partner in Goa.

In another high-profile case, doctors in hospitals across India went on strike after a trainee was raped and killed in August 2024. A police volunteer was found guilty of the crime, but avoided the death penalty, CBS News previously reported. " (SOURCE).



"DV In the News: Missing woman found dead in suitcase, ex-boyfriend in custody" (Source).

"A woman's ex-boyfriend is in police custody after she was found dead in a suitcase on Thursday in Yonkers, New York, law enforcement sources said.

Pamela Alcantara, 26, was found dead in a marshy area by the side of Saw Mill River Parkway after going missing over the weekend, according to law enforcement sources.

The woman was pronounced dead at the scene, the NYPD said.

While her 46-year-old ex-boyfriend remains in custody, no one has been charged yet in her death. He is not cooperating with police, sources said.

The couple had been dating for three years before she recently broke it off, her family told New York ABC station WABC.

Alcantara lived with the man in her Bronx apartment. Detectives were looking to talk to him this week in connection to her disappearance, according to sources.

Her ex-boyfriend's license plate pinged near the location the body was found at 9:50 a.m. on Thursday, according to WABC.

The NYPD searched an area along the roadway where his vehicle stopped and a drone spotted the red suitcase containing her body in the water, according to law enforcement sources.

The man was taken into custody soon after. He initially told detectives Alcantara left her apartment in a hurry, wearing pajamas and carrying the red suitcase, sources sad. Evidence recovered by detectives later revealed that was not accurate, and he requested a lawyer, according to sources.

The Office of the Chief Medical Examiner will determine the cause of death, according to the NYPD.

Alcantara was reported missing on Sunday after she did not show up to church. The circumstances surrounding her death remain under investigation, according to law enforcement sources.

Alcantara was last seen on surveillance video early Sunday at her residence, according to the NYPD.

ABC News' CeFaan Kim, Mark Crudele and Omar Rodriguez contributed to this report." (Source).



"DV In The News: Draft law defining femicide, punishing it with up to life in prison approved by Italian government - Washington Times" (SOURCE).

"Italian government approves draft law targeting femicide, with punishment up to life in prison.

The Italian government approved a draft law that for the first time introduces the legal definition of femicide in the country’s criminal law and punishes it with life imprisonment.

The move, announced on the eve of Women’s International Day on Saturday, aims at tackling a shocking string of homicides and violence targeting women in Italy through strengthening measures against gender-based crimes like stalking and revenge porn.

The proposal, agreed on late Friday, still needs to go through parliament and be approved by both chambers to become law.

“This is an extremely significant bill, which introduces the crime of femicide in our legal system as an autonomous crime, punishing it with life imprisonment,” said conservative Premier Giorgia Meloni, who strongly backed the initiative.

“It introduces aggravating circumstances and increases sentences for crimes including personal mistreatment, stalking, sexual violence and revenge porn,” she said in a statement.

While the center-left opposition welcomed the move, it stressed that the new law only tackles the criminal aspect of the problem, while leaving economic and cultural divides unaddressed.

Recently, femicide has emerged as a systemic problem deeply entrenched into Italy’s patriarchal culture, with some violent incidents renewing debate on gender-based crimes.

Particularly striking was the killing of Giulia Cecchettin, the 22-year-old university student brutally stabbed to death by her former boyfriend Filippo Turetta in November 2023. Last December, Turetta was sentenced to life imprisonment.

Recent studies show that, while homicides have been declining in the Mediterranean country, the rate of femicides tends to be stable or only slightly decrease, while remaining strictly linked to the family or the “emotional sphere” of the victims.

Official data by the Italian Interior ministry recorded 113 femicides in 2024, of which 99 committed by relatives, partners or ex-partners."  (SOURCE).



DV In the news: "Colorado woman teamed up with stranger to murder her boyfriend who doubted she'd get a job", authorities say - CBS News (SOURCE).

"A Colorado woman has been convicted in the murder of her boyfriend after authorities say she teamed up with a stranger to kill him because she was upset that he had doubted her chances of getting a job.

Ashley White, 29, was found guilty of second-degree murder and other charges in connection with the 2020 death of her boyfriend, 28-year-old Cody DeLisa, Adams County District Attorney Brian Mason announced this week. White was arrested in August 2020 after DeLisa was found shot to death inside their home in Commerce City, CBS Colorado reported at the time.

In the months leading up to the murder, White and DeLisa had a "volatile and strained relationship," in part because DeLisa had often criticized his girlfriend for being unable to secure a full-time job, according to the district attorney's office. Authorities say White grew so frustrated with DeLisa that she even tried to drown and burn his cat. 

On Aug. 13, 2020, authorities say White attended a job interview in Denver. On the bus ride home, DeLisa "expressed skepticism about her chances of getting the job, which upset White." 

White met a stranger on the bus who introduced himself as "Scott" and after talking about DeLisa's alleged abusive behavior, they devised a plan to kill DeLisa, the DA's office said.

After getting off the bus, authorities say, they walked to the home were White and DeLisa lived. A short time later, DeLisa was shot twice in the head, and his body was discovered the next day.

Authorities did not explicitly identify who pulled the trigger but said the pair practiced firing Scott's gun before the murder.

White and Scott allegedly stole DeLisa's wallet after the murder and spent the next few days in the area before Scott left, and White told authorities she never saw him again. White was later identified as a suspect and was arrested and charged. 

Three years after the killing, authorities made another breakthrough in the case. In 2023, a woman who identified herself as the girlfriend of Michael Stratton contacted the district attorney's office and said her boyfriend had confessed to being involved in DeLisa's killing.

Authorities say her description matched White's account of the crime. Stratton had been arrested for a separate murder that happened after DeLisa's death. Authorities said Stratton was deemed incompetent to stand trial in that case, and he has not been charged in connection with DeLisa's murder.

White's trial began on Jan. 6, and after about three weeks of testimony, the jury found her guilty of second-degree murder, conspiracy to commit second-degree murder and robbery. 

"This was a tragic and senseless murder and Ashley White bears significant culpability for it," said District Attorney Brian Mason. "Her callous actions led to the victim's death and now she will pay a significant price."

White is scheduled for sentencing on April 4. (SOURCE).

Understanding The DV Incident Checklist

What is the Domestic Violence INCIDENT CHECKLIST?
  The Domestic Violence Incident Checklist is a form that contains a number of very basic labels or descriptions of Domestic Violence - types of behaviors that can lead to Criminal Charges.
  This Checklist sometimes helps
during a DV Offense -- or a series of DV Offenses, Police, District Attorneys, Victim Advocates, Victims, Offenders, Probation Officers and DV Offender Treatment Providers more readily understand what has reportedly happened 
  Better still, this Checklist makes it much easier for a Victim (or an alleged Victim) of DV to report what she or he has experienced during the (alleged) DV Offense. 
  It is important to understand that just because something is not on this list; it does not mean that it is not DV.  Some DV Behaviors are probably not contained in this list.   

Why is this Checklist Important to People Who Have Been Charged with DV?
  This is a super easy way for a person who has been Accused, Convicted or taken a Plea with a Domestic Violence Enhancer to better understand precisely what he / she has been accused of doing and/or may have actually done; that is considered illegal behavior.

This Checklist -- within the Context of This Domestic Violence Treatment -- is about Prevention.
   How can this Checklist help prevent DV?  It is simple: Never do any of the behaviors that are described in this Checklist.  Like NEVER!!!  Even if you find yourself thinking about doing one or more of these things to someone, please get help.  Think about it.  Take a time out.  Do anything -- other than hurting yourself or anyone else -- you need to do in order to prevent yourself from doing that.  
  Why not do any of these behaviors?  ..... Really?  Doing any of these behaviors can cause serious physical or emotional harm to the victim as well as to witnesses -- especially children.  And doing such behaviors can also cause you to get another DV Charge.. 

What if I was accused of doing something on this Checklist, but I did not do it?
  Unfortunately, at this point, you would not be in the DV Treatment with Dr. B if you had not been either been Convicted of DV, Taken a Plea for DV, or Been Placed on Diversion as a result of a DV Charge.  Dr. B cannot change your charges or anything like that.  If you have additional questions about that, you can always speak to an Attorney.

What if I did not do any of the things on this Checklist?
  Good for you!  One possibility is that you were totally framed and/or someone lied about you to the Police.  And you are totally innocent.  
  However, here you are with charges.  If that is the case, then one naturally asks: 
  • Are you still with this person? 
  • Would it not be Risky to stay with this person after they have done this to you?  
  • Why are you still with this person?

What behaviors are included on the DV Incident Checklist?
  People who fill out this form are asked also to clarify the following as they check off items:
  • Location Where Abuse Occurred
  • Date(s) of Incident(s)
  • Physical Injury, if Any
  • Police Contact?
    Those who fill out one of these Checklists are also advised of the following: 
"WARNING: This form is provided to help you prepare for your hearing. You may keep it or you may file it with your complaint. IF YOU DO FILE IT, IT WILL BECOME A PART OF THE PUBLIC RECORD AND WILL BE SERVED ON THE RESPONDENT AS A PART OF THE COMPLAINT."

    Note: These are the Items listed on the DV Incident Checklist (Each of these might constitute Abuse in and of itself; or in combination with other behaviors that are or are not on this list): 
  1. Name-calling/Directed Use of Obscenities
  2. Threatening/Harassing Phone Calls
  3. Threat to Injure Self
  4. Threat to Injure Others
  5. Threat by Physical or Sexual Abuse to Children
  6. Threat by Displaying or Pointing Weapon, or by Access to Weapon
  7. Threat by Cruelty to Animals
  8. Threat by Following
  9. Threat by Damage to Property
  10. Throwing Things
  11. Grabbing
  12. Shoving or Pushing
  13. Forcing Sexual Contact
  14. Physically Abusing Children in Household
  15. Sexually Abusing Children in Household
  16. Slapping (with an open hand)
  17. Punching (with a closed fist)
  18. Kicking
  19. Using Weapon
  20. Biting
  21. Choking or Strangling
  22. Beating
  23. Forcing Other to Stay in Closet, Room, Homes, or Other Locations

  When digesting this list, one way to look at it is to accept that all the behaviors on there can be illegal.  But in some cases, certain behaviors will be present, and it is clearly wrongful behavior; however, in some cases, the Charge does not contain it.  On the other hand, sometimes the DA might stick what seem to be extra charges onto the Charge Sheet in order to influence someone to take a plea.  

  What are some Questions that you might have regarding the items on this list?

  Perhaps the next thing to do after understanding this list and how it is used would be to work out ways of preventing this sort of behavior.  This begins with accepting the fact that this behavior is never acceptable.

   Think about this.  What kinds of things can a person do to stop such behaviors, before they happen?


(Originally Posted. 9/7/2020). 
 (c. 2020, William T. Beverly, Ph.D., LCSW, All information on the Blog (Except where otherwise noted); are the intellectual and/or photographic and/or digital property of Dr. William T. Beverly, L.C.S.W., DVOMB Approved Offender Treatment Provider.).

Tuesday, March 11, 2025

TABLE OF CONTENTS for DV Treatment: Below are The Basic Necessities for Completing Domestic Violence Treatment. These Links Below lead to the Topics and the Worksheets that are part of DV Treatment Requirements. These Worksheets are Required for Successful Completion of DV Treatment.

  There are several things that must be done in order to Successfully Complete DV Treatment.  Before you start, you should read the Treatment Orientation Posting.  Also take a look at the Schedule of Groups.

  The first requirement is that I attend all sessions, take the lessons seriously, and demonstrate positive change change in my thinking.  You definitely should not have missed more than 2 or 3 DV Sessions.  If you missed any sessions, you should have informed Dr B as to why you missed.  Fact of the matter is; if I missed any DV Sessions, I should complete an Absences Attestation for each one.

  Another requirement for successful completion of DV Treatment is that 100% of my Balance is paid off.  Remember, your P.O. is NOT required to give you Vouchers to pay for your DV Treatment.  But if you need a Voucher to pay for your DV Treatment, you must speak with your P.O. (nicely) about this matter if you hope to get any help from them paying for your DV Sessions.  The sooner you do this, the better.  Because they can only give you vouchers or you that will cover DV Sessions starting the day you ask for them.  Finally, it is important that you understand that any amount that is not covered by vouchers is an amount that you will owe for your DV Treatment.

  The third requirement is to understand that any really good DV Treatment Participant is also filling out a Session Feedback Form at the end of each session.

  The fourth requirement is to know that any one who wishes to Successfully Complete Domestic Violence Offender Treatment, must be sure that I All of of their Worksheets are completed and successfully submitted online.  

  Some of the most important DV Topics are those listed below.  Even if you have done these before, they really must be gone over again to make double-sure that you completely understand how you will never again have any more DV in your relationships.

Important:

  Go to each of the Links below and complete the  worksheets that they have links to. 

Dr. B's DV Prevention & Education Blog: Treatment Planning for Success (drbsdvpreventionandeducation.blogspot.com) 

Autobiography of Violence Worksheet

DVOMB Mandatory Core Competencies

    Core Competencies Worksheet

BRIEF CORE COMPETENCIES CHECK-UP: Where Do I Think that I am in my DV Treatment???

Managing Conflict Effectively: And Prevention of Domestic Violence

Learning about Chain Analysis in order Prevent Domestic Violence: A DBT-Type Method

Understanding our Values and Using our Virtues to Prevent Domestic Violence

Understanding Different Types of Domestic Violence - 

        CLICK HERE >>>Types of DV Worksheet 

The Vagina Monologues -- Decades of Altruistic Efforts to Improve the Lives of Girls, Women, and Yes; the Entire Planet!

Overcoming Denial  -- Being Responsible or Being in Denial Worksheet

    Minimization, Denial & Blame Worksheet

The Role of Anger in Domestic Violence -- Anger and DV Worksheet

Taking Time Outs

Understanding Communication for Healthy Relationships

Getting Ready to Take Full Accountability For My Domestic Violence Offense and Moving Forward: What Is Real-Time Accountability?

DVTPA: Domestic Violence Treatment Progress Assessment

My Domestic Violence Treatment Check-In and Check-Up!

The Effects of Using Children During and After a Relationship

The Duluth Power & Control Wheels

The EFFECTS of Using Power and Control in Relationships

Using Equality for Healthier Relationships

Balancing Our Empathy With Our Own Needs Particularly During Troubled Times

The Fallacy of Control -- Controlling Behaviors

Types of DV Worksheet

What is Love?

Making Better Choices: Poor Choices, versus Mistakes, Accidents and Victimhood

Mindfulness and Prevention of DV: Where was I when my DV Happened?

Mandatory Empathy Panel Presentation at SLVBHG 8/8/2028 

Empathy Panel Week Worksheets for Everyone to Complete even if they did not attend the Empathy Panel.

Cycle of Violence

Potential Risk Factors for DV: Knowing your Risk Factors 

Healthy Boundaries

Codependency, Relationships and Domestic Violence

Cognitive Distortions

The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children -- A Reminder

Building On Individual Values And A Personal Mission Statement For Domestic Violence Prevention


Moving from Being Considered the "Offender" in a Domestic Violence Case, (yet Feeling Like a Victim); Toward Becoming an Accountable Survivor




Personality Disorders, Other Psychiatric Disorders, Substance Use, and Domestic Violence

How Do I Talk About My DV Offense?  What if they won't let it go?

DV and The Holidays and Domestic Violence:  The Holidays can be a Great Time to Move Forward: Planning for a Nourishing and SAFE Holiday

Getting Ready for a NEW YEAR: Planning for A Year without Domestic Violence and A Year with Healthier Relationships 

My Domestic Violence Treatment Check-In & Check-Up

Dr. B's DV Prevention & Education Blog: My Domestic Violence Treatment Check-In & Check-Up (drbsdvpreventionandeducation.blogspot.com) 

The Phenomenon of Jealousy and How it Relates to Domestic Violence

Respect Letter

The Often-Times Challenging Journey from Trauma to Hope and Confidence for People with Domestic Violence Offenses

"Getting Ready to Take Accountability for my DV Offense."  Accountability Practice Letter Worksheet -- 

Valentine's Day and Domestic Violence -- What does Valentine's Day Mean To You?  A Process Approach 

About Relationships: Unhealthy versus Healthy 

Empathy Recognition and It's Potential Role in Preventing Domestic Violence 

Dealing Effectively with Dysfunctional, Destructive, Negative Behaviors and Problems in Relationships



Using Children as a Form of Domestic Violence During a Relationship; and/or Parental Alienation as a Form of DV After the Intimate Relationship is Over



Create Your Emergency Toolkit 

for Prevention of Domestic Violence

>>> Mindfulness and Prevention of DV: 

   Where was I when my DV Happened? <<<



and

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

NOW YOU CAN GO BACK TO THE TOP OF THIS LIST AND KEEP ON PROGRESSING!!!

Accountability Letter Worksheet

Aftercare Planning for Success.

Turn in and Read Your Accountability Letter to The Group

Exit Interview Worksheet

Finally:  if your Evaluation and all of your Treatment Sessions have not been paid for, you must pay for them before you can be successfully Discharged.