Disaster is No Excuse for Abuse: Finding Our Chi, Eliminating Our DV and Experiencing Unbelievably wonderful Relationships -- aka Working Through the Crisis Together

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 Disaster is No Excuse for Abuse: Finding Our Chi, Eliminating Our DV and Experiencing Unbelievably wonderful Relationships -- aka Working Through the Crisis Together

Disaster Strkes.  It's a CRISIS!!!  A Perceived Emergency!  Then What?

  We often make it bigger than it really is... By Over-Reacting, 

  Sometimes we actually create new problems by Over-Reacting.  

  We might even Trigger Other Crises by carrying on like this.

  Then it can become a total mess... much bigger than when it actually started.

  Then We might start feeling awful, angry, overwhelmed, with even more extreme emotions...

  We might start negative talking about others and everythign else... -- or negative self-talking...  That's when it gets dangerous.  

  We might even be in DENIAL.

  We could start coming to invalid conclusions...  such as "I'm always the VICTIM..."  Feeling sorry for yourself.

Then What???  Anger... ANGER ...... A-N-G-E-R  !!!

Lashing out... No Good.  We might start Placing Blame...  Whether it's on yourself or others...

Then We are BARGAINING.

Then WE REALLY FEEL LIKE VICTIMS!!!  THE VICTIM.  That's totally unproductive.  

BUT we just want to trade it out for something better.

Depression...   Negatively Impacts Our Wellbeing and our Physical Health and our Self-Esteem too.

Then we might just BE READY to ACT OUT...  Why not just find something or somebody and abuse them???

Then there is TRULY NEGATIVE and DESTRUCTIVE BARGAINING...

How about if we get everybody else to feel as bad as we do today....

I mean we are having a BAD DAY...  Hence... Everyone else should have a bad DAY!!!

  No!  That's the No Good.     That's the Bad Me Talking.

  So How does all this happen?

  Well, when we feel like that, we don't always really think about the impact of our words, actions, and gestures on others -- or on ourselves for that matter...  

  And frequently, those closest to us tend to get the worst of it.

  How much DV Happens when someone is in a Crisis of Some Sort.  

  "Domestic violence can occur at any time, and it often happens in a cyclical pattern with periods of tension, violent outbursts, and then attempts at reconciliation. While domestic violence incidents can occur across the board, there's no definitive "time" or "crisis" that universally triggers it. However, domestic violence is more likely to happen when individuals are alone and no witnesses are present. It's also important to note that while crises and stressors can contribute to the overall relationship dynamics, domestic violence is not solely caused by them."  (AI Source).

  Hence, it is clear that even though a lot of DV Happens when one or both partners are in Crisis; it is important to note that CRISIS or an EMERGENCY is NOT AN EXCUSE For DV.

"Cycles of Violence:

Domestic violence often follows a pattern, with periods of escalating tension (verbal abuse, minor physical abuse) followed by a violent outburst, and then a "honeymoon" phase where the abuser attempts to make amends. 

No Specific Time or Crisis:

While stressors like financial problems, job loss, or alcohol/drug abuse can be present in abusive relationships, they don't directly cause the violence. Domestic violence is more about a power dynamic and control exerted by one person over another. 

When and Where:

Domestic violence incidents are more likely to occur when the abuser and victim are alone and no witnesses are present. While more than 60% of incidents happen at home, they can occur in various settings. 

General Statistics:

Domestic violence is a significant issue, with millions of people experiencing it annually.  Women between the ages of 20 and 24 are at higher risk, according to the Bay Area Women's Center. 

It's About Control:

Domestic abuse is rarely about losing control and more about taking control and maintaining power. It's a conscious choice made by the abuser, not a spontaneous outburst. "  (AI Source).

What does all this mean?

That being said, it stands to reason that we can learn better, more peaceful ways of dealing with our crises; we may have less DV in our lives if we do.  

DBT And CRISIS -- Several ways of dealing effectively with Crisis are included in the DBT Regimen:  

  (AI) says: "Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) provides skills to manage crisis situations effectively. These skills help individuals navigate emotional turmoil and distress without resorting to harmful behaviors. Some key aspects of DBT crisis management include: 

MentalHealth.com

DISTRESS TOLERANCE and CRISIS (Click Here for Video)

+4 (Mindfulness Guided Meditation).

Pausing  (Video: DBT Mindfulness How Skills).

Using TIPP (Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, Paired Muscle Relaxation) (Short Version; Longer Version

Distracting with ACCEPTS (Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Emotions, Pushing away, Thoughts, Sensations)

Practicing mindfulness"

Finding Our Innter Self, Our Healing Light, Positive Energy, Our Chi and our Faith

 and Eliminating Our DV and Experiencing Unbelievably wonderful Relationships:

Discussion Questions: 

  QUESTION:  How would you define the idea of Energy?

""

   QUESTION:  How would you describe the Energy around your Relationship with your partner around the time of your DV Offense?

""

  QUESTION: If I find my Inner Self, Healing Light, Positive Energy, my Chi and/ or my Faith – How does this sense of a very powerful positive energy help me to prevent events that sometimes lead to Domestic Violence?

“”

   QUESTION: When I get comfortable within my sense of my Chi – in what ways can that help me to experience an unbelievably wonderful Relationship?

“”

Technique(s) used during group: Discussion, Sharing their work from their Worksheets, Group response to questions.

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