Revisiting My Autobiography Of Domestic Violence

 Revisiting My Autobiography Of Domestic Violence.

  What could be gained from developing a better understanding of her or his Autobiography of Domestic Violence?

What's the use or Value in doing this?

 -- To make me aware of what has happened in my life;

 -- Might help me understand myself a little better -- in terms of how I react to violence as well as in terms of how I get to the point of thinking about doing violence.

 -- Might it help me get a better understanding of my current situation?

 -- Could it also help me figure out some of my fears?

 -- Could enlighten me on how to prevent problems in the future.

 -- Maybe help me get a better understanding of my reactions to situations.

 -- So that I can develop a better understanding of the different types of violence.  And finally,

 -- It's about me getting a better look at what Victim's experience; as well what Witnesses such as children experience when they are exposed to it -- and how these experiences impact their lives.

  What do we mean by Violence?  Violence typically involves the intentional or unintentional use of Physical, Emotional, Social or even Financial Force against another person, animal or entity where by the the action itself puts them at risk of harm.

  What is Domestic Abuse?  

"“Domestic abuse, also called "domestic violence" or "intimate partner violence", can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. It can occur within a range of relationships including couples who are married, living together or dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels. 

Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence, regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation, faith or class

Victims of domestic abuse may also include a child or other relative, or any other household member.

Domestic abuse is typically manifested as a pattern of abusive behavior toward an intimate partner in a dating or family relationship, where the abuser exerts power and control over the victim.

Domestic abuse can be mental, physical, economic or sexual in nature. Incidents are rarely isolated, and usually escalate in frequency and severity. Domestic abuse may culminate in serious physical injury or death.”  (United Nations)."

  Understanding my Autobiography of Domestic Violence is also about exploring my Experience of this (and other) Violence, as well as my reaction to what I did or what I didn't do.

  What does Violence do to us?  How does it impact our lives? 

"Nothing Good..."

Treatment Planning Updates: Updating Our Treatment Plans for Success in DV Treatment and Success in Future Relationships

  The big question at this point is: "How likely am I to re-offend?"  

  Secondly: "How am I gonna prevent that?"

  The Domestic Violence Offender Management Board of Colorado requires that DV Offenders complete a Treatment Plan or a Treatment Planning Review approximately every 3 months.    
  There are different requirements for different levels of Treatment (such as, A, B, or C).

  Regarding construction of the DV Treatment Plan, the The DVOMB writes: 

  "A Treatment Plan shall be implemented after the completion of the intake evaluation process. The individualized plan shall promote victim and community safety while identifying treatment goals for the offender. The written Treatment Plan shall include goals that specifically address all clinical issues identified in the intake evaluation. The treatment goals shall be based on offender criminogenic needs, offender competencies, and identified risk factors."  (DVOMB Standards). 
  Below are a number of things to think about when you are Treatment Planning for Success:

Pre-Treatment-Planning Questions:
  Before you try to work on your Treatment Plan, please try and answer these questions:


1. What are some of your Strengths that are helping you get through this DV Treatment Successfully?  Everyone has strengths.  What are some of your strengths?
  (Examples: Loyal, Respectful, Trustworthy, Faithful, Hard Worker, Sensitive, Good Parent, Great Partner......


2. What are your Criminogenic Needs?  Do any of the items on this list seem to relate to you:  (If I have one of these, these are things to work on in my Treatment Plan.)

“Criminogenic Needs are factors in a [justice-involved individual's] life that are directly related to recidivism. Research has identified six factors that are directly related to crime: low self-control, anti-social personality, anti-social values, criminal peers, substance abuse and dysfunctional family” (Source).

• Criminal History; History of Low Self Control:
• Education (truancy, Low IQ, Learning Disorders, Suspensions/Expulsions) – Poor Grades.  Dropped out.
• Employment Issues: Typically does not have a job.
• Financial Issues / Irresponsibility:
• Dysfunctional Family / Marital: Family of Origin History.
• Accommodation: Are you lacking a place to live?  (For an Alternative View: Do you tend to just go along with the crowd no matter what they do?)
• Leisure /Recreation: Not enough vacation time or rest time. 
• Anti-Social Companions:
• Alcohol / Drug Problems:
• Emotional / Personal / Psychological Challenges:
• Anti-Social Attitude / Orientation:
• Anti-Social Personality Pattern:

3. What are your DV Risk Factors?  Which ones of the Risk Factors below apply to you and/or your Offense?  (From the DVRNA)   (If I have any one of these, I might be more likely to Re-Offend; unless I make some changes to the way I think and behave.)

 -- Domain A: Prior domestic violence related incidents

• 1.            Prior to the current DV Offense, have you ever had a Domestic Violence conviction or deferred sentence?   (Critical Risk Factor—Level C)
• 2.            Have you ever had a Violation of an order of protection (documented violation)?  (Level B minimum)
• 3.            Have you ever had, or do you have a Civil Domestic Violence related protection order against you?  (Level B minimum)
• 4.            Have you ever been arrested for domestic violence?  (Level B minimum)  
• 5.            Have you had prior domestic violence incidents that were not reported to criminal justice system?  (Level B minimum)

-- Domain B: Drug or alcohol abuse

• 1.            Have you had any substance abuse/dependence within the past 12 months?  (Level B minimum)
• 2.            Do you have a history of substance abuse treatment within the past 12 months or 2 or more prior drug or alcohol treatment episodes during lifetime?  (Level B minimum)
• 3.            Do you use illegal drugs?  (Level B minimum)

 -- Domain C: Mental health issue

• 1.            Do you have an Existing Axis I or II Mental Health diagnosis (excluding V codes)?  Have you ever been told by a professional that you have this?  (Level B minimum)  
• 2.            Do you have a personality disorder with anger, impulsivity, or behavioral instability?  Have you ever been told by a professional that you have this?  (Level B minimum)
• 3.            Do you have severe psychopathology?  Have you ever been told by a professional that you have this?  (Level B minimum)
• 4.            Recent psychotic and/or manic symptoms?  Have you been told by a professional that you have this?    (Level B minimum)
• 5.            Psychological/psychiatric condition currently unmanaged?  Have you been told by a professional that you have this?  (Level B minimum)
• 6.            Noncompliance with prescribed medications and mental health treatment?  If you have been prescribed Psychiatric Medications, have you taken them as directed? (Level B minimum)
• 7.            Are you exhibiting symptoms that indicate the need for a Mental Health evaluation?  Do you feel that you need a Mental Health Evaluation?  (Level B minimum) 

 -- Domain D: Suicide/homicidal 

• 1.            Have you had serious homicidal or suicidal ideation/intent within the past year?  Have you thought seriously about killing your self or anyone else within the past year? (Level C)
• 2.            Have you thought about Suicide in the past 12 months?
• 3.            Have you made threats to kill anyone within the past 12 months?
• 4.            Has the Victim accused you of making threats of harming or killing her / him?

 -- Domain E: Use and/or threatened use of weapons in current or past offense or access to firearms

• 1.            Is there a Gun in your home that is in violation of a civil or criminal court order? (Level C)
• 2.            Have you used or threatened to use weapons (of any kind) in current or past offense? (Level C)
• 3.            Do you currently have access to firearms?

 -- Domain F. Criminal history-non-domestic violence (both reported and unreported to criminal justice system). This domain applies only to adult criminal history.

• 1.            Were you on community supervision (Probation or Parole) at the time of the offense? (Level C)
• 2.            Have you ever before been arrested for assault, harassment, or menacing.
• 3.            If so, how many times?
• (Level B minimum if 2 or more.)
• 4.            Do you have any prior non-domestic violence convictions?
• 5.            Have you ever had a violation of conditional release or community supervision (i.e., violated probation or parole)?
• 6.            Have you ever in the past assaulted strangers or acquaintances?
• 7.            Have you ever been accused of animal cruelty or animal abuse?

 -- Domain G: Obsession with the victim? 

• 1.            Have you been accused of stalking or monitoring the victim in this DV offense?
• 2.            Do you have a tendency to obsess over the victim?  Or Have you been jealous over the victim in the past?  Or Would you describe yourself as having a  potential for violence toward the victim?  Or Do you find that you are consistently jealous of the victim?

 -- Domain H: Safety concerns

• 1.            Has the victim indicated that she/he is concerned for her/his own safety?
• 2.            Does your victim indicate that she/he believes that you are capable of killing her?
• 3.            Do you or did you tend to control most of the victim’s daily activities?
• 4.            Did you try to “choke” victim?  Did the victim accuse you of trying to choke her/him?
• 5.            Do you feel that the physical violence between you and the victim is increasing in severity?
• 6.            Have you ever forced the victim to have sex when not wanted?  Did the victim accuse you of doing this?
• 7.            Was the victim pregnant at the time of the offense?  If so, were you aware of this?
• 8.            Have you been accused of abusing the victim  previously during Pregnancy?

 -- Domain I. Violence and/or threatened violence toward family members, including child abuse (does not include intimate partners) 

• 1.            Have you any Current or past Social Services or DHS case(s)?
• 2.            Have you assaulted family members in the past?
• 3.            Were children present during the offense – Were they on the property?

 -- Domain J: Attitudes that support or condone spousal assault.                                    

• 1.            Would you say that you explicitly endorse attitudes that support or condone intimate partner Assault?  Do you talk about your violence toward the victim in an approving or justifying way?
• 2.            Would you say that you endorse attitudes that support or condone intimate partner assault?

 -- Domain K: Prior completed or noncompleted domestic violence treatment            

• 1.            Have you begun or completed DV Treatment in the past – prior to this offense?

 -- Domain L: Victim separated from offender within the previous six months   

• 1.            Were you and the victim separated within the past 6 months?

 -- Domain M: Unemployed

• 1.            Are you currently Unemployed – but not retired, on public assistance, a student, or supported as the homemaker by your partner?

 -- Domain N: Involvement with people who have pro-criminal influence 

• 1.            Would you say that you have some criminal acquaintances in your life?
• 2.            Would you say that you have some criminal friends in your life?

4. Core Competency Areas in need of Improvement:  Below is a basic list of the DVOMB Core Competencies for DV Offender Treatment.  Can you think of any of these that you have not yet mastered?

• A. Abusive behavior elimination               
• B. Empathy                        
• C. Offense & Abusive history                      
• D. Power & Control behaviors                
• E. Accountability                              
• F. Consequence acceptance                       
• G. Participation & cooperation in treatment                       
• H. Defines types of domestic violence                    
• I. Personal pattern of violence                   
• J. Intergenerational violence effects                       
• K. Communication skills                
• L. Time-out use                
• M. Financial responsibility                           
• N. Eliminates all forms of violence and abuse                      
• O. Weapons prohibitions                             
• P. Cognitive distortion identification & challenge                              
• Q. Parenting skills                            
• R. DBT (Dialectic Behavioral) skills                            
• S. Healthy Sexuality

  *** Please Click Here to Complete Your Treatment Planning WorkSheet. ***

(Previously published on 9/11/2020)

 (c. 2020, William T. Beverly, Ph.D., LCSW, All information on the Blog (Except where otherwise noted); are the intellectual and/or photographic and/or digital property of Dr. William T. Beverly, L.C.S.W., DVOMB Approved Offender Treatment Provider.).

Getting Your Personal Change Plan Done -- AGAIN!!!

  Sometimes people might get tired of hearing that they need to put together another Personal Change Plan.  Question: Would I rather have changes that just happen to me -- and even effect me in a bad way?  Or would I rather make the plan myself and hopefully do better in the long run?  The bottom line is that Personal Change is an ongoing thing and one can make a new Personal Change Plan Monthly, Weekly, or even Daily if they really want to.

  From one planning period to another; hopefully things are changing for the better.  It is hoped that anyone who is reading this for the second or third time is doing better now than they were doing when they did their previous plan.

  It might be good somewhere along the lines to think of making a new plan -- The first question being: What progress have I made since the last time I was in the position of making a new plan?

What's all this about the Commitment to Positive Personal Change?   

  Frankly, if one has not yet come to a point where she or he can see a need for some Personal Changes; then one ought to try and think about it some more.  How did I get into this mess?  What is one thing about me, or something that I thought, or something that I did that helped contribute to this tragic series of events?  The fact is that I was there.  Regardless of innocence or guilt, I was there.  Regardless of my intent or my actual thoughts and behaviors that day, I was arrested, charged, prosecuted and here I am.

  What reasonable person would not want to see some sort of a positive change at this point?  So come on!  What are some things that I could change that would help make sure that I never again end up in such a situation?

  

Keep that in mind as we move forward; One foot after another.

 

  The Domestic Violence Offender Management Board of Colorado says that The Personal Change Plan is a written plan for preventing abusive behaviors and also for developing healthy thoughts and behaviors. It further says that everyone here "shall design and implement this plan during treatment and utilize it after discharge."                                     

  The Personal Change Plan primarily encourages a person to really think about the following among other things:

 

    --> Identifying his or her triggers. 

    --> Identifying his or her cycles of abusive thoughts.

    --> Identifying his or her abusive words.

    --> Identifying his or her abusive behaviors.

    --> Coming up with thoughts, words and behaviors that can help him or her turn otherwise 

          potentially abusive situations into situations that are no longer abusive.

    --> Creating a plan for preventing or interrupting the triggers and cycles. 

This is My Promise; My Commitment to Personal Change: 

  “I hereby commit to eliminate abusive behavior; which includes the use of physical intimidation or violence, coercion, emotional, verbal or economic abuse, or psychological cruelty toward my spouse, partner and/or children.  If I do behave abusively in the future, I consider it my responsibility to report or discuss these behaviors honestly with my friends, relatives, probation officer or other interested party who will hold me accountable.”

Then we are asked to think about and list the following: 

• The ways I am going to prevent abusive behavior of any kind are by?  How might I do this???

• The ways I am going to change my thinking so my thoughts and behaviors will be healthy is by?  How might I make this happen???

• If I realize I am in danger of becoming abusive I will do the following?  What are some resources that I have that might help me prevent such a situation?

Some questions to ask yourself as you do this include:

• Am I ready to make some changes?

• Think about It at this point, what kinds of changes have I already made since the DV Offense?

• If I have already made some changes in my life that impact how I hold my Relationships; Are the changes I made working for me?  Or do I need to tweak them around a bit?

• Do you need to make more changes?

 A Good Starter List of Possible Personal Changes to Plan for that Could Help One Prevent DV Is Below:

  Think about it NOW -- Given what I have already learned and I've already changed:   What kinds of changes do I need to make now in order to avoid DV in the future?    For Example, are there more things that I should do; or have I already done everything that I should -- or that I can at this point?
  For example here are some ideas that might inspire some more good changes for me to make.

• Learn how to take Time Outs when I need them.

• Learn how to use Stop, Breathe and Focus when needed.

• Respect yourself and others always.

• Plan Ahead in order to prevent problems -- This includes communication.

• Don't spy on your partner.  Learn how to Trust my partner.

• Avoid Competing with my partner.  Create Win-Win situations.

• Don't be afraid to question myself and my motives some.

• Always be willing to take my time.

• Be Sober.

• Watch out for Red Flags?

• If something in my relationship is Wonderful -- then It might be good to Tell my Partner About It.

• Always remember to give myself positive affirmations.

• Be aware of, and be mindful of my Cognitive Distortions.

• Apply what I know about Relationships in order to have healthy relationships

• Listen to, and pay close attention to my Partner. (Put down the phone, Turn off the TV etc..) when it's time to communicate about important things.

• Learn How to Argue Respectfully -- To avoid fights -- Always be Respectful.

• Learn to always disagree in a Respectful manner.  Create Win-Win solutions.

• Find things about the Relationship that make me feel Happy, Safe and Grateful.

• Am I willing to do things differently this time?

• If you feel a need for Treatment or could benefit from Treatment, then go get it.

• Be Careful.  Be Courteous.  Be Patient.  Be Kind.  Be Humble.  Play nice.

• I should try to be aware of my Triggers.  Try to avoid or prevent situations that tend to trigger me.  Keep my eye on the Ball.

• Learn how to Negotiate and Compromise and to Navigate with Patience.

• Get in the habit of Road-mapping potentially difficult situations.

• Use Fairness in Decision-Making (means everyone agrees or it is not yet fair).

• Be careful never to Fight and never to be Disrespectful.

• Act with Prevention in Mind.  Prevent problems.  Get ahead of the Curve.

• Learn how to appreciate the differences between me and my partner.  

• Try to learn new things from your partner on a regular basis. 

• Never be afraid to look at my partner honestly in terms of what they are contributing to the Relationship.  (But the secret is -- try not to compare what I contribute to what they contribute).

• Learn some good rules for Argument: One thing at a time.  Listen.  Be Flexible.  The objective is to solve the problem; not to win.

• Don't ever try to make my Partner feel Ashamed.

• Stop Keeping Score of things that I do Good for my Partner.

• Stop Keeping Score of things that my Partner did Badly.

• Never be afraid to look at yourself honestly in terms of what I am contributing to the Relationship.

• Always be willing to Re-Think conclusions that do not yield win-win results.

• Wake up every morning and try to think of some things that I feel grateful for.

• Believe in my Self -- Increase my Self-Esteem.  Do things that make me feel good.

• Strive to have lots of FUN with my partner.

• Look for Positive Solutions -- even in Negative Situations

• Always find different ways to tell your partner that I love her or him when I feel that way.

• Remember to try and be Patient with my Partner.

• Don't ever Humiliate my Partner. 

• Trying to find Win-Win Solutions. 

• Never be Afraid to Make Positive Changes (Sometimes the Devil you know is safer than the Devil you don't know.  But all the time, the Devil you know is the Devil.)

• Learn how to give without expecting anything in return.

• Always be Patient with myself.  No one is Perfect.

• Never threaten my Partner in any way.  Don't threaten or scare anyone.

• Always help my Partner feel safe.

• Don't ever call my Partner a Name other than a nice Name.

• Takes some time to jot down all the great things about my partner.

• Make a list of fun and healthy things that I could do to become a better partner.

• And there are many many more ideas on how to have a Healthy Relationship......

MORE IDEAS for A GOOD Personal Change Plan:

  Consider and learn how to develop some of the following Patterns of Thinking, Behaviors and Traits:

Social Support -- "Social support is the perception and actuality that one is cared for, has assistance available from other people, and that one is part of a supportive social network. These supportive resources can be emotional (e.g., nurturance), tangible (e.g., financial assistance), informational (e.g., advice), or companionship (e.g., sense of belonging)and intangible (e.g. personal advice).”  It is frequently a great idea to seek support from trusted friends, family and professionals.

Accountability – “The state of being accountable, liable, or answerable.” Or “"A personal choice to rise above one's circumstances and demonstrate the ownership necessary for achieving desired results—to See It, Own It, Solve It, and Do It." This definition includes a mindset or attitude of continually asking, "What else can I do to rise above my circumstances and achieve the results I desire?" It requires a level of ownership that includes making, keeping and answering for personal commitments.”

Prevention -- “The act or practice of stopping something bad from happening : the act of preventing something.”

Trust and Support -- "Supporting her/his goals in life. Respecting her/his right to her/his own feelings, friends, activities, and opinions." 

Respect -- "Listening to her/him non-judgmentally.  Being emotionally affirming and understanding.  Valuing her/his opinions.  This term essentially means valuing each others point of view. It means being open to being wrong; It means accepting people as they are;  It means not dumping on someone because you're having a bad day;  It means being polite and kind always, because being kind to people is not negotiable;  It means not dissing people because they're different to you; and It means not gossiping about people or spreading lies."

Negotiation and Fairness -- "Seeking mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict.  Accepting changes.  Being willing to compromise."  This often requires a bit of patience.

Responsible Parenting -- "Sharing parental responsibilities.  Being a positive, nonviolent role model for the children."

Non-Threatening Behavior -- "Talking and acting so that she or he feels safe and comfortable expressing her/his-self and doing things."

Shared Responsibility -- "Mutually agreeing on a fair distribution of work.  Making family decisions together."

Economic Partnership -- "Making money decisions together.  Making sure both partners benefit from financial arrangements."

Honesty and Accountability -- "Accepting responsibility for self.  Acknowledging past use of violence. Admitting being wrong. Communicating openly and truthfully."

  Perhaps we can put things such as those mentioned directly below to an end in our lives.  And then we can move forward in a much better way as we learn how to employ the following ideas in our relationships.  Below are some Definitions related to the Personal Change Plan...  It would be really good to try and learn what all these words mean -- and how they could relate to -- and even improve -- a good Personal Change Plan? 

Commitment – “A promise to do or give something. : a promise to be loyal to someone or something. : the attitude of someone who works very hard to do or support something.”

Eliminate (Like to eliminate abusive behavior) – To do away with. To end something.

Abusive behavior – Characterized by wrong or improper use or action; (for example: corrupt <abusive financial practices>; using harsh insulting language <an angry and abusive husband>; or physically injurious).

Physical intimidation -- Encroachment into your physical space (usually defined as approximately three feet away from you) in a manner that is threatening, even without contact.  This could also include Purposeful acts designed to make your physical environment uncomfortable.

Verbal Intimidation -- This can include: shouting, especially from a near distance; use of cursing or other abusive language; use of demeaning language.  This form of intimidation may also include repeated telling of insulting or demeaning jokes, references to your person, or physical gestures designed to insult or demean you as a person.

Physical violence – Physical actions that are designed to harm another person, an animal or an object.

Coercion – “The intimidation of a victim to compel the individual to do some act against his or her will by the use of psychological pressure, physical force, or threats. The crime of intentionally and unlawfully restraining another's freedom by threatening to commit a crime, accusing the victim of a crime, disclosing any secret that would seriously impair the victim's reputation in the community, or by performing or refusing to perform an official action lawfully requested by the victim, or by causing an official to do so.”  See also: Harassment, Intimidation and Bullying.  Blackmail is a word that is often used to describe Coercion.

Emotional abuse – “Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical in nature. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to ever be pleased.  It is mostly used by insecure people who feel the need to undermine people's feelings to the point where it is absolutely unbearable and action must be taken.  Emotional abuse is not a joke. People say it’s not abuse because there's not physical harm being done, but that is not true at all. In case you might of not known before, words do in fact hurt, and they leave marks inside our brains as well.”  And emotional abuse often leads to physical harm.

Verbal abuse – “Verbal Abuse is use of words to attack or injure an individual, to cause one to believe an untrue statement, or to speak falsely of an individual.”  Verbal abuse also is sometimes an indicator of physical abuse that is about to come.

Economic abuse --  “Economic abuse is a form of abuse when one intimate partner has control over the other partner's access to economic resources,[1] which diminishes the victim's capacity to support him/herself and forces him/her to depend on the perpetrator financially.”

Blaming the Victim --  "A devaluing act where the victim of a crime, an accident, or any type of abusive maltreatment is held as wholly or partially responsible for the wrongful conduct committed against them.  Victim blaming can appear in the form of negative social reactions from legal, medical, and mental health professionals, as well as from the media and immediate family members and other acquaintances.  Traditionally, this has emerged in racist and sexist forms.  The reason for victim blaming can be attributed to the misconceptions about victims, perpetrators, and the nature of violent acts."  

Psychological cruelty – The systematic destruction of a person’s self-esteem, self-image, psychological well-being, reputation, or cognitive abilities typically through the use of violence, intimidation, coercion or verbal abuse.

*** Click on this Link to Complete Your Personal Change Plan. *** 

(First Posted, 7/6/2020; Originally penned 2013.)

Sources: Some Definitions from online sources including: Merriam Webster Dictionary, the Legal Dictionary, Ladybug Books, The Urban Dictionary,  Ask.com, Wikipedia, and ASME.  Also Equality and Power and Control Wheel Definitions from Duluth, MN.

 (c. 2020, William T. Beverly, Ph.D., LCSW, All information on the Blog (Except where otherwise noted); are the intellectual and/or photographic and/or digital property of Dr. William T. Beverly, L.C.S.W., DVOMB Approved Offender Treatment Provider.).

PLANS – PLANS – PLANS !!! Don't GET CAUGHT WITHOUT Your PLAN!!!

  A wise person once said, “Those who fail to plan; plan to fail.”  Or "If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!"  Benjamin Franklin

  Hence it's a wise assumption, that Successful DV Treatment has a lot of Planning to it.  Right?

  What do we mean by Successful DV Treatment?  Is basically to end DV -- To get through DV Treatment and never again have DV in your life -- As a Perpetrator as a Victim..

  This takes some planning... and a lot of effort... and a little bit of luck.  But we can do it.

  These plans need to be done in order successfully complete DV Treatment:  In other words, IF I AM MISSING ANY ONE of the items below, then I might be falling behind in MY DV TREATMENT!!!

    In order to get caught up on my DV Treatment; I need to look over each of the Links below and then complete the Worksheet that can be found by clicking on the LINK at the end of each one.  

  And if you need help, Dr. B. will be glad to help you with this important task:  

Start HERE: 

>>> What are my Risk Factors? So What is a Risk Factor?

  A Risk Factors is: “Something that increases a person's chances of developing a disease. For example, cigarette smoking is a risk factor for lung cancer, and obesity is a risk factor for heart disease" (Source).”  Just like Alcohol can be a Risk Factor for Domestic Violence.   

Please Click her to Complete the assigned 

Potential Risk Factors for DV Worksheet

Another kind of Plan is a Treatment Plan:

  A Treatment helps me guide my treatment from the beginning so that my Treatment will be Successful -- which might even make me feel like a better person. 

>>> When was the last time I completed a Treatment Plan.  Read about it right here: Treatment Plan?

    *** Please Click Here to Complete 

Your Treatment Planning WorkSheet. ***

  This is about ME doing MY BEST to get the MOST out of my DV Treatment so that I will have healthier relationships and then I will be happier and so will my Partner(s).

  So now, let's talk about Personal Change Plans.  During a person's DV Treatment, they should do at least 3.  Personal Change Plans tend to be about 4-5 questions and they tend to take about 10 minutes each.  

 Is it Worth It to you???  I hope so.

>>> How many Personal Change Plans have I completed?

    

*** Click on this Link to 

Complete Your Personal Change Plan. *** 

Everyone should complete at least One Aftercare Plan draft before finishing DV Treatment: 

>>> How many revisions have I made to my AfterCare Plan?

                 *** Please CLICK HERE to Complete

               your Aftercare Planning Worksheet *** 

  In order to successfully complete DV Treatment, a person much complete all of the Mandatory Core Competencies.  Click below to read them and you will will see why.

>>> How am I doing on my Mandatory DVOMB CoreCompetencies?  

                        Click Here to Complete the 

             CORE COMPETENCIES WORKSHEET *

  The DVTPA (Domestic Violence Treatment Progress Assessment) kind of helps us know where we are in our DV Treatment -- That is if we answer it honestly.  This instrument contains a number of skills and bits of info that every DV Client is supposed to have mastered by the time they finish DV Treatment:

    >>> Have I completed a DVTPA Lately?  If not; It's TIME!!!

-------     

            *** Please CLICK HERE to 

Complete your Adapted DVTPA Worksheet ***

Session Feedback Form!         

(Originally Published 5/3/2021)

TABLE OF CONTENTS for DV Treatment: Below are The Basic Necessities for Completing Domestic Violence Treatment. These Links Below lead to the Topics and the Worksheets that are part of DV Treatment Requirements. These Worksheets are Required for Successful Completion of DV Treatment.

  There are several things that must be done in order to Successfully Complete DV Treatment.  Before you start, you should read the Treatment Orientation Posting.  Also take a look at the Schedule of Groups.

  The first requirement is that I attend all sessions, take the lessons seriously, and demonstrate positive change change in my thinking.  You definitely should not have missed more than 2 or 3 DV Sessions.  If you missed any sessions, you should have informed Dr B as to why you missed.  Fact of the matter is; if I missed any DV Sessions, I should complete an Absences Attestation for each one.

  Another requirement for successful completion of DV Treatment is that 100% of my Balance is paid off.  Remember, your P.O. is NOT required to give you Vouchers to pay for your DV Treatment.  But if you need a Voucher to pay for your DV Treatment, you must speak with your P.O. (nicely) about this matter if you hope to get any help from them paying for your DV Sessions.  The sooner you do this, the better.  Because they can only give you vouchers or you that will cover DV Sessions starting the day you ask for them.  Finally, it is important that you understand that any amount that is not covered by vouchers is an amount that you will owe for your DV Treatment.

  The third requirement is to understand that any really good DV Treatment Participant is also filling out a Session Feedback Form at the end of each session.

  The fourth requirement is to know that any one who wishes to Successfully Complete Domestic Violence Offender Treatment, must be sure that I All of of their Worksheets are completed and successfully submitted online.  

  Some of the most important DV Topics are those listed below.  Even if you have done these before, they really must be gone over again to make double-sure that you completely understand how you will never again have any more DV in your relationships.

Important:

  Go to each of the Links below and complete the  worksheets that they have links to. 

Dr. B's DV Prevention & Education Blog: Treatment Planning for Success (drbsdvpreventionandeducation.blogspot.com) 

Autobiography of Violence Worksheet

DVOMB Mandatory Core Competencies

    Core Competencies Worksheet

BRIEF CORE COMPETENCIES CHECK-UP: Where Do I Think that I am in my DV Treatment???

Managing Conflict Effectively: And Prevention of Domestic Violence

Learning about Chain Analysis in order Prevent Domestic Violence: A DBT-Type Method

Understanding our Values and Using our Virtues to Prevent Domestic Violence

Understanding Different Types of Domestic Violence - 

        CLICK HERE >>>- Types of DV Worksheet 

The Vagina Monologues -- Decades of Altruistic Efforts to Improve the Lives of Girls, Women, and Yes; the Entire Planet!

Overcoming Denial  -- Being Responsible or Being in Denial Worksheet

Overcoming Minimization, Denial and Blame -- Moving Toward Accountability

    Minimization, Denial & Blame Worksheet

The Role of Anger in Domestic Violence -- Anger and DV Worksheet

Taking Time Outs

Understanding Communication for Healthy Relationships

Getting Ready to Take Full Accountability For My Domestic Violence Offense and Moving Forward: What Is Real-Time Accountability?

DVTPA: Domestic Violence Treatment Progress Assessment

My Domestic Violence Treatment Check-In and Check-Up!

The Effects of Using Children During and After a Relationship

The Duluth Power & Control Wheels

The EFFECTS of Using Power and Control in Relationships

Using Equality for Healthier Relationships

Balancing Our Empathy With Our Own Needs Particularly During Troubled Times

Developing Empathy

The Fallacy of Control -- Controlling Behaviors

Types of DV Worksheet

What is Love?

Making Better Choices: Poor Choices, versus Mistakes, Accidents and Victimhood

Mindfulness and Prevention of DV: Where was I when my DV Happened?

Mandatory Empathy Panel Presentation at SLVBHG 8/8/2028 

Empathy Panel Week Worksheets for Everyone to Complete even if they did not attend the Empathy Panel.

Cycle of Violence

Potential Risk Factors for DV: Knowing your Risk Factors 

Healthy Boundaries

Codependency, Relationships and Domestic Violence

Introduction to Basic DBT Skills for Prevention of DV-Type Thinking, Feeling and Domestic Violence Itself

What Happens When We Violate Somebody's Rights

Cognitive Distortions

The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children -- A Reminder

Building On Individual Values And A Personal Mission Statement For Domestic Violence Prevention

Moving from Being Considered the "Offender" in a Domestic Violence Case, (yet Feeling Like a Victim); Toward Becoming an Accountable Survivor

Using The Control Log Process In Order to Prevent Domestic Violence

Personal Change Plan

PLANS -- PLANS -- PLANS !!!  Time to Get It Done!!!

Understanding DV From a Trauma-Informed Perspective 

    Trauma-Informed DV Victim Empathy Worksheet 

Communicating for Healthy Relationships

Personality Disorders, Other Psychiatric Disorders, Substance Use, and Domestic Violence

How Do I Talk About My DV Offense?  What if they won't let it go?

DV and The Holidays and Domestic Violence:  The Holidays can be a Great Time to Move Forward: Planning for a Nourishing and SAFE Holiday

Getting Ready for a NEW YEAR: Planning for A Year without Domestic Violence and A Year with Healthier Relationships 

My Domestic Violence Treatment Check-In & Check-Up

Dr. B's DV Prevention & Education Blog: My Domestic Violence Treatment Check-In & Check-Up (drbsdvpreventionandeducation.blogspot.com) 

The Phenomenon of Jealousy and How it Relates to Domestic Violence

Respect Letter

The Often-Times Challenging Journey from Trauma to Hope and Confidence for People with Domestic Violence Offenses

"Getting Ready to Take Accountability for my DV Offense."  Accountability Practice Letter Worksheet -- 

Valentine's Day and Domestic Violence -- What does Valentine's Day Mean To You?  A Process Approach 

About Relationships: Unhealthy versus Healthy 

Empathy Recognition and It's Potential Role in Preventing Domestic Violence 

Dealing Effectively with Dysfunctional, Destructive, Negative Behaviors and Problems in Relationships

The Vagina Monologues -- Decades of Altruistic Efforts to Improve the Lives of Girls, Women, and Yes; the Entire Planet!

Using Children as a Form of Domestic Violence During a Relationship; and/or Parental Alienation as a Form of DV After the Intimate Relationship is Over

Domestic Violence, Parental Alienation & Child Abuse: A Deadly Intersection

Developing Accountability for a Better Chance at Preventing Domestic Violence and a Brighter Future!

Create Your Emergency Toolkit 

for Prevention of Domestic Violence

>>> Mindfulness and Prevention of DV: 

   Where was I when my DV Happened? <<<

Denial and Domestic Violence

Dr. B's DV Prevention & Education Blog: “Denial and Responsibility -- Which Works Better for Me?” (drbsdvpreventionandeducation.blogspot.com)

and

Please click here to complete Dr. B's Session Feedback Form.

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NOW YOU CAN GO BACK TO THE TOP OF THIS LIST AND KEEP ON PROGRESSING!!!

Accountability Letter Worksheet

Aftercare Planning for Success.

Turn in and Read Your Accountability Letter to The Group

Exit Interview Worksheet

Finally:  if your Evaluation and all of your Treatment Sessions have not been paid for, you must pay for them before you can be successfully Discharged.