The Best Way to Prevent a Problem Such as Domestic Violence is to be Aware of it.

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A Collection of Quotations About Forgiveness

“30 Quotes on Forgiveness: Ponder these words of wisdom" (2/1/2011).

 "THE BASICS: The Importance of Forgiveness (From Psychology Today):

 Remember, you don't forgive someone for his or her sake—you forgive them for your sake. (On a side note, I just read that as "sake," the drink. I think that means it's time for me to get some sushi.)

 Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, nor does it mean that you've given the message that what someone did was OK. It just means that you've let go of the anger or guilt towards someone, or towards yourself. But that can be easier said than done. If forgiveness was easy, everyone would be doing it.

 "When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." –Katherine Ponder

"There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love." –Bryant H. McGill

"A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." –Robert Quillen

"Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me." –Anonymous

"Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time-just like it does for you and me." –Sara Paddison

"Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast." –Marlene Dietrich

"Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life." –George MacDonald

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." - –Louis B. Smedes

"We are all on a life long journey and the core of its meaning, the terrible demand of its centrality is forgiving and being forgiven." –Martha Kilpatrick

"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness." –Robert Muller

"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." –Mark Twain

"Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much." –Oscar Wilde

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." –Mahatma Gandhi

"Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting." –William Arthur Ward

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." –Paul Boese

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." –William Blake

"If you can't forgive and forget, pick one." –Robert Brault

"He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass." –George Herbert

"Without forgiveness life is governed by... an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation." –Roberto Assagioli

"Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself." –Harriet Nelson

"Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge." –Isaac Friedmann

"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future." –Louis B. Smedes

"Life is an adventure in forgiveness." –Norman Cousins

"Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom." –Hannah Arendt

"Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave." –Indira Gandhi

"Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on." –Alice Duer Miller

"As long as you don't forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy a rent-free space in your mind." –Isabelle Holland

"Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were." –Cherie Carter-Scott

"Forgiveness is like faith. You have to keep reviving it." –Mason Cooley

"Only the brave know how to forgive. ... A coward never forgave; it is not in his nature." –Laurence Sterne”

Sources:

• "30 Quotes on Forgiveness" (Source).

DV In the NEWS Increases in Domestic Violence: Another One of COVID-19's Possible Impacts

  Who would think that will all the awful news and inconveniences of the COVID-19 Crisis; we would also have to be mindful that Domestic Violence / Family Violence seems to be on the rise.

How do we know this?

"Domestic Violence Hotline Calls Rise 52% In Alaska." Excerpts from this Article Include: "ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) — Domestic violence and sexual assault organizations in Alaska have experienced a 52% increase in hotline calls as residents remain at home amid the coronavirus pandemic, a study said. 

"In that time period, shelter capacity was reduced by 57% to comply with federal social distancing guidelines, meaning some shelters limited one person to a room instead of four, the study said.

  To curtail limited space, shelters saw a 60% increase in alternative housing options such as hotel rooms and safe houses, and a 20% increase in online tool usage, the study said."

"A Pandemic within a Pandemic: Intimate Partner Violence During Covid-19"

Excerpts from this Article Include: "Domestic-violence hotlines prepared for an increase in demand for services as states enforced these mandates, but many organizations experienced the opposite. In some regions, the number of calls dropped by more than 50%.1 Experts in the field knew that rates of IPV had not decreased, but rather that victims were unable to safely connect with services. Though restrictions on movement have been lifted in most regions, the pandemic and its effects rage on, and there is widespread agreement that areas that have seen a drop in caseloads are likely to experience a second surge. This pandemic has reinforced important truths: inequities related to social determinants of health are magnified during a crisis, and sheltering in place does not inflict equivalent hardship on all people.

 One in 4 women and one in 10 men experience IPV, and violence can take various forms: it can be physical, emotional, sexual, or psychological.2 People of all races, cultures, genders, sexual orientations, socioeconomic classes, and religions experience IPV. However, such violence has a disproportionate effect on communities of color and other marginalized groups. Economic instability, unsafe housing, neighborhood violence, and lack of safe and stable child care and social support can worsen already tenuous situations. IPV cannot be addressed without also addressing social factors, especially in the context of a pandemic that is causing substantial isolation.

 Economic independence is a critical factor in violence prevention."

"Study Finds Rise In Domestic Violence During Covid-19" 

Excerpts from this Article Include: "X-ray evidence points to pandemic lockdowns triggering a surge in cases of domestic violence.

 Data from a major Massachusetts hospital found a significant year-over-year jump in intimate partner violence cases among patients -- nearly all women -- who sought emergency care during the COVID-19 pandemic's first few weeks.

 "This data confirms what we suspected," said study co-author Mardi Chadwick Balcom. "Being confined to home for a period of time would increase the possibility for violence between intimate partners."

 And the new study probably exposes "only the tip of the iceberg," said co-author Dr. Bharti Khurana, as it focused only on patients who sought emergency care at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston and reported being a victim of domestic abuse."

"The scans identified 26 patients with injuries consistent with either superficial wounds or serious abuse.

 That number was nearly equal to the 27 identified at the hospital during the same weeks in 2018 and 2019 combined. It also exceeded the 15 cases of physical abuse treated in 2017.

 During spring 2020, the hospital treated 28 serious domestic abuse injuries (with some patients sustaining more than one). Such "deep" injuries resulted from strangulation, stabbing, burns and/or the use of knives or guns, the study reported.

 Five victims of severe abuse were identified in 2020, compared to one in each of the three previous years."

""For many women and girls," he added, "the threat looms largest where they should be safest, in their own homes.""

"Many shelters and safe homes have had to move people into hotels to comply with COVID-19 guidelines, so space for domestic abuse victims can be limited. But help is available, Balcom said."

"Early Numbers Suggest Domestic Violence Homicides May Be On The Rise."

Excerpts from this Article Include: "In two major counties, preliminary data shows domestic violence homicides are already twice 2019 totals—with nearly all occurring since the pandemic began."  "In Memphis, Milwaukee and Jefferson Parish, a New Orleans suburb, domestic violence homicides had equaled or surpassed last year’s total by Oct.13, NBC News found. In Tarrant County, Texas — home to Fort Worth — they had more than doubled.

 In the Seattle area, there were 14 domestic violence homicides in 2020 through Oct. 8, equal to the combined total for 2018 and 2019, according to the King County District Attorney’s office. All but one of the 2020 homicides occurred after the governor issued a Covid-19 state of emergency.

 It is too soon to draw conclusions about trends, or assign any statistical significance when working with small numbers, but any increase in domestic violence homicide is worrying, said Ruth Glenn, executive director of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

 “Hard national data is impossible to come by, but we know domestic violence is on the rise” during the pandemic, she said. “My bigger concern is those [victims] who aren’t reporting, particularly during this time when things are even more frightening and it’s potentially harmful, potentially lethal to call.”"

"“There is probably a vast number of victims that aren't coming forward because they don't know where to look, or the system — maybe they try it on their own and it's very confusing, and they give up.”"

"Family Violence and Covid-19: Increased Vulnerability and Reduced Options for Support."

Excerpts from this Article Include: "Family violence during pandemics is associated with a range of factors including economic stress, disaster-related instability, increased exposure to exploitative relationships, and reduced options for support (Peterman et al. 2020)."

"Social isolation exacerbates personal and collective vulnerabilities while limiting accessible and familiar support options (van Gelder et al. 2020). In many countries, including Australia, we have already seen an increase in demand for domestic violence services and reports of increased risk for children not attending schools (Duncan, 2020), a pattern similar to previous episodes of social isolation associated with epidemics and pandemics (Boddy, Young &

O’Leary 2020). In Australia, as stay-at-home orders came into force, the police in some parts of the country reported a 40% drop in crime overall, but a 5% increase in domestic abuse call-outs (Kagi 2020). At the same time in Australia, Google reported a 75% increase in Internet searches relating to support for domestic abuse (Poate 2020).

This pattern is repeated internationally. Reports of domestic abuse and family violence have increased around the world since social isolation and quarantine measures came into force. Recently, anecdotal evidence from the United States, China, Brazil, and Australia indicates increases in intimate partner, women, and children violence due to isolation and quarantine (Campbell 2020; Peterman et al. 2020; van Gelder et al. 2020). China, the first country to impose mass quarantine in the Wuhan province, saw reported domestic abuse incidents rise threefold in February 2020 compared to the previous year (Allen-Ebrahimian 2020). As Europe imposed quarantine measures in an effort to slow the tide of infection, the Italian government began commissioning hotels to provide shelter to the increasing number of people fleeing abusive situations (Davies & Batha 2020). Similarly, France reported a 32% - 36% increase in domestic abuse complaints following the implementation of self-isolation and quarantine measures (Reuters News Agency 2020).

France also began commissioning hotels as shelters for those fleeing abuse. As quarantine measures extended to the United States, individual states reported similar increases in domestic abuse incidents ranging from 21% to 35% (Wagers 2020). Back in Europe, the UK has also seen concerns about increase in family violence (Bradbury-Jones & Isham 2020). There have been reports of homicide associated with family violence in several countries (Bradbury-Jones & Isham 2020; Reuters News Agency 2020). The National Domestic Abuse Hotline in the UK saw a 25% increase in calls since stay-at-home measures were implemented (Kelly & Morgan 2020), recording at least eight family violence-related deaths (Knowles 2020)."

"How Smart Devices Are Exploited For Domestic Abuse."

Does More Dependence on Technology during the Pandemic NOW Make DV Victims More Vulnerable to Spying, Tracking, Stalking and Ultimate Control via Technology?

"The number of domestic abuse cases has increased dramatically since the UK's Covid lockdown - and tech has played a role.

Smart speakers, tracking apps and key-logging software are among products that have made it easier for perpetrators to maintain control of victims and continue abuse.

Domestic-violence charity Refuge says more than 70% of those it provides support to have reported tech-related abuse within a relationship.

Two people who experienced abuse during the pandemic shared their stories with BBC Click.

They asked to remain anonymous for their own safety.

"When he left the house, that's when I started to see that he was using the Ring doorbell camera to track me," says Kate, who is using a pseudonym. She is referring to Amazon's internet-connected security device. It triggers alerts when it detects motion in front of a home and allows live footage or recordings to be watched from afar.

"I could take the battery out of it if I wanted to, but I didn't feel like I could because he would say to me, 'You're compromising our children's safety'.

"I was worried that he would go to the police and try and suggest that I'm a bad mother."

Another explained how her partner used Amazon's virtual assistant to monitor her via a function that lets users remotely connect to enabled smart speakers and listen/speak via an intercom-like facility.

"He would set up all the accounts," says Sue, who is also using an alias.

"He would set up family-sharing on things. There were various Alexa devices all over the property.

"He could drop in from outside or he could go to someone's house and ring the Alexa when we were at home."

Abuse experienced by men also increased during the pandemic.

The Respect Men's Advice Line reports receiving 5,000 more calls during the start of the UK lockdown than in the same period the year before.

But women are still more likely to experience violence and harassment. Three-quarters of domestic abuse victims recorded by the police last year were female, according to the Office for National Statistics' latest figures."

Does The Corona Virus Impact Whether or Not Someone Reports DV?

"Officials: Crime Reports Affected By Corona-Virus Response."  Excerpts from this Article Include: "Stay-at-home orders stemming from the coronavirus response likely have affected the number of burglaries, auto thefts and domestic violence incidents reported in Shelby County and Memphis, officials said."

"Home burglaries dropped by 24% countywide, compared with the first quarter of 2019.

 “This may be attributable to a significant number of citizens staying at home in March,” the report said.

 Motor vehicle thefts increased 22% countywide in the first quarter. Vehicle thefts tend to rise when schools aren’t in session, officials said.

 Reports of domestic violence in the county in March were down 9% compared with the same month last year.

 Bill Gibbons, president of the Memphis Shelby County Crime Commission, said domestic violence victims may feel it is “unsafe to call 911 with perpetrators remaining close by in the home and with no alternative places to go for safety.”

 “Even under difficult circumstances, victims should always try to safely seek help,” Gibbons said."

DV On the Streets During COVID-19: 

"Pregnant Woman, Baby Killed In Domestic Dispute, Police Say."

"Phoenix Man Kills Wife After She Reports Fight To Police."

"Man Charged With Killing Ex-Girlfriend, 3 Others."

"Police Reveal Details Regarding Shooting of Travis HS Coach Killed in Family-Related Dispute at Sports Complex in Rosenberg."

"Details Released in Shooting Death of Travis Highschool Football Coach."

Even the Helpers -- Those who work to Prevent DV, are having to do things differently:

"South Caroline Moved Domestic Violence Ceremony Online."

"Amid Pandemic, Mexico To Cut Funds To Domestic Violence Shelters."

Officials React to DV Crisis amid COVID-19 Crisis:

"UN Chief Urges End to Domestic Violence, Citing Global Surge." 

  "“For many women and girls, the threat looms largest where they should be safest — in their own homes,” Gutteres said. “And so I make a new appeal today for peace at home — and in homes — around the world.”"

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READ The DV NEWS!!! Pay Attention and Learn how to Prevent DV

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“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.” – Robin Williams

The Most Recent News Related to Domestic Violence

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Personal Change Plan

Comprehensive Personal Change Plan (By Dr. Beverly, Dec. 2013)

Definiciones para un cambio personal integral

  The DVOMB says that The offender’s Personal Change Plan is a written plan for preventing abusive behaviors and developing healthy thoughts and behaviors. The offender shall design and implement this plan during treatment and utilize it after discharge. 
  The Personal Change Plan primarily encourages a person to really think about:

    --> Identifying triggers.

    --> Identifying cycles of abusive thoughts and behaviors.

    --> Creating A plan for preventing or interrupting the triggers and cycles. 

The Commitment / My Commitment: 

  “I hereby commit to eliminate abusive behavior; which includes the use of physical intimidation or violence, coercion, emotional, verbal or economic abuse, or psychological cruelty toward my spouse, partner and/or children.  If I do behave abusively in the future, I consider it my responsibility to report or discuss these behaviors honestly to my friends, relatives, probation officer or other interested party who will hold me accountable.”

Then we are asked to think about and list the following: 

• The ways I am going to prevent abusive behavior of any kind are by?
• The ways I am going to change my thinking so my thoughts and behaviors will be healthy is by?
• If I realize I am in danger of becoming abusive I will do the following?

Some questions to ask yourself as you do this include:

1. The first question is, Am I ready to make some changes?
2. Think about It at this point, what kinds of changes have I already made since the DV Offense
3. If I have already made some changes in my life that impact how I hold my Relationships; Are the changes I made working for me?
4. Do you need to make more changes?

Think about it NOW -- Given what I have already learned and I've already changed:   What kinds of changes do I need to make now in order to avoid DV in the future?    For Example, are there more things that you should do; or have you already done everything that you should -- or that you can at this point?
For example here are some ideas that might inspire some more good changes for you to make.

• Learn how to take Time Outs when you need them.
• Learn how to use Stop, Breathe and Focus when needed.
• Respect yourself and others always.
• Plan Ahead so as to prevent problems -- This includes communication.
• Don't spy on your partner.  Learn how to Trust your partner.
• Avoid Competing with your partner.  
• Don't be afraid to question yourself and your motives some.
• Always be willing to take your time.
• Be Sober.
• Watch out for Red Flags?
• If something in your relationship is Wonderful -- then Please Tell Your Partner About It.
• Always remember to give yourself positive affirmations.
• Be aware of, and be mindful of your Cognitive Distortions.
• Apply what you know about Relationships in order to have healthy relationships
• Listen to, and pay close attention to your Partner. (Put down the phone, Turn off the TV etc..) when it's time to communicate about important things.
• Learn How to Argue Respectfully -- To avoid fights -- Always be Respectful.
• Learn to always disagree in a Respectful manner.
• Find things about the Relationship that make you feel Grateful.
• Are you willing to do things differently this time?
• If you feel a need for Treatment or could benefit from Treatment, then go get it.
• Be Careful.  Be Courteous.  Be Patient.  Be Kind.  Be Humble.  Play nice.
• Be aware of your Triggers.  Keep your eye on the Ball.
• Learn how to Negotiate and Compromise and to Navigate with Patience.
• Get in the habit of Road-mapping potentially difficult situations.
• Use Fairness in Decision-Making (means everyone agrees or it is not yet fair).
• Be careful never to Fight and never to be Disrespectful.
• Act with Prevention in Mind.  Prevent problems.  Get ahead of the Curve.
• Learn how to appreciate the differences between you and your partner.
• Never be afraid to look at your partner honestly in terms of what they are contributing to the Relationship.  (But the secret is -- try not to compare what you contribute to what they contribute).
• Learn some good rules for Argument: One thing at a time.  Listen.  Be Flexible.  The objective is to solve the problem; not to win.
• Don't ever try to make your Partner feel Ashamed.
• Stop Keeping Score of things that you do Good for your Partner.
• Stop Keeping Score of things that your Partner did Badly.
• Never be afraid to look at yourself honestly in terms of what you are contributing to the Relationship.
• Wake up every morning and try to think of some things that you feel grateful for.
• Believe in Your Self -- Increase Your Self-Esteem.  Do things that make you feel good.
• Strive to have lots of FUN with your partner.
• Look for Positive Solutions -- even in Negative Situations
• Always find different ways to tell your partner that you love her/him when you feel that way.
• Always try to be Patient with your Partner.
• Don't ever Humiliate your Partner. 
• Trying to find Win-Win Solutions. 
• Never be Afraid to Make Positive Changes (Sometimes the Devil you know is safer than the Devil you don't know.  But all the time, the Devil you know is the Devil.)
• Learn how to give without expecting anything in return.
• Always be Patient with yourself.  No one is Perfect.
• Never threaten your Partner in any way.
• Always help your Partner feel safe.
• Don't ever call your Partner a Name other than a nice Name.
• And there are many many more ideas on how to have a Healthy Relationship......

Below are some Definitions related to the Personal Change Plan.

What do all these words mean -- and how do they relate to my Personal Change Plan? (Qué significa todo esto?)

Commitment – “A promise to do or give something. : a promise to be loyal to someone or something. : the attitude of someone who works very hard to do or support something.”

Eliminate – To do away with. To end something.

Abusive behavior – Characterized by wrong or improper use or action; corrupt <abusive financial practices>; using harsh insulting language <an angry and abusive husband>; or physically injurious.

Physical intimidation -- Encroachment into your physical space (usually defined as approximately three feet away from you) in a manner that is threatening, even without contact.  Purposeful acts designed to make your physical environment uncomfortable.

Verbal Intimidation -- This can include: shouting, especially from a near distance; use of cursing or other abusive language;  use of demeaning language.  This form of intimidation may also include repeated telling of insulting or demeaning jokes, references to your person, or physical gestures designed to insult or demean you as a person.

Physical violence – Physical actions that are designed to harm another person, animal or object.

Coercion – “The intimidation of a victim to compel the individual to do some act against his or her will by the use of psychological pressure, physical force, or threats. The crime of intentionally and unlawfully restraining another's freedom by threatening to commit a crime, accusing the victim of a crime, disclosing any secret that would seriously impair the victim's reputation in the community, or by performing or refusing to perform an official action lawfully requested by the victim, or by causing an official to do so.”  See also: Harassment, Intimidation and Bullying.

Emotional abuse – “Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical in nature. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to ever be pleased.  Mostly use by insecure people who feel the need to undermine people's feelings to the point where it is absolutely unbearable and action must be taken.  Emotional abuse is not a joke. People say it’s not abuse because there's not physical harm being done, but that is not true at all. In case you might of not known before, words do in fact hurt, and they leave marks inside our brains as well.”

Verbal abuse – “Verbal Abuse is use of words to attack or injure an individual, to cause one to believe an untrue statement, or to speak falsely of an individual.”

Economic abuse --  “Economic abuse is a form of abuse when one intimate partner has control over the other partner's access to economic resources,[1] which diminishes the victim's capacity to support him/herself and forces him/her to depend on the perpetrator financially.”

Psychological cruelty – The systematic destruction of a person’s self-esteem, self-image, psychological well-being, reputation, or cognitive abilities typically through the use of violence, intimidation, coercion or verbal abuse.

Social Support -- "Social support is the perception and actuality that one is cared for, has assistance available from other people, and that one is part of a supportive social network. These supportive resources can be emotional (e.g., nurturance), tangible (e.g., financial assistance), informational (e.g., advice), or companionship (e.g., sense of belonging)and intangible (e.g. personal advice).”

Accountability – “The state of being accountable, liable, or answerable.” Or “"A personal choice to rise above one's circumstances and demonstrate the ownership necessary for achieving desired results—to See It, Own It, Solve It, and Do It." This definition includes a mindset or attitude of continually asking, "What else can I do to rise above my circumstances and achieve the results I desire?" It requires a level of ownership that includes making, keeping and answering for personal commitments.”

Prevention -- “The act or practice of stopping something bad from happening : the act of preventing something.”

  (El Plan de cambio personal del delincuente es un plan escrito para prevenir comportamientos abusivos y desarrollar pensamientos y comportamientos saludables. El infractor deberá diseñar e implementar este plan durante el tratamiento y utilizarlo después del alta.)   (El compromiso / Mi compromiso:

“Por la presente me comprometo a eliminar el comportamiento abusivo; que incluye el uso de intimidación física o violencia, coerción, abuso emocional, verbal o económico, o crueldad psicológica hacia mi cónyuge, pareja y / o hijos. Si me comporto de manera abusiva en el futuro, considero que es mi responsabilidad informar los comportamientos de manera honesta a mis amigos, parientes, agente de libertad condicional u otra parte interesada que me 

responsabilizará ”.)

Compromiso - “Una promesa de hacer o dar algo. : una promesa de ser fiel a alguien o algo. : la actitud de alguien que trabaja muy duro para hacer o apoyar algo ".

Eliminar: eliminar. Para terminar algo.

Comportamiento abusivo: caracterizado por un uso o acción incorrecto o incorrecto; corruptas <prácticas financieras abusivas>; usando un lenguaje ofensivo y duro <un esposo enojado y abusivo>; o físicamente perjudicial.

Intimidación física: invasión en su espacio físico (generalmente definido como aproximadamente a tres pies de distancia de usted) de una manera amenazante, incluso sin contacto. Actos intencionales diseñados para incomodar su entorno físico.

Intimidación verbal: esto puede incluir: gritos, especialmente desde una distancia cercana; uso de maldiciones u otro lenguaje abusivo; uso de lenguaje degradante. Esta forma de intimidación también puede incluir contar repetidamente chistes insultantes o degradantes, referencias a su persona o gestos físicos diseñados para insultarlo o degradarlo como persona.

Violencia física: acciones físicas que están diseñadas para dañar a otra persona, animal u objeto.

Coerción: “La intimidación de una víctima para obligar al individuo a realizar algún acto contra su voluntad mediante el uso de presión psicológica, fuerza física o amenazas. El delito de restringir intencional e ilegalmente la libertad de otra persona al amenazar con cometer un delito, acusar a la víctima de un delito, revelar cualquier secreto que perjudique seriamente la reputación de la víctima en la comunidad, o al realizar o negarse a realizar una acción oficial legalmente solicitada por la víctima, o haciendo que un funcionario lo haga ”. Ver también: Acoso, intimidación e intimidación.

Abuso emocional: “El abuso emocional es cualquier tipo de abuso que es de naturaleza emocional más que física. Puede incluir cualquier cosa, desde el abuso verbal y la crítica constante hasta tácticas más sutiles, como la intimidación, la manipulación y la negativa a sentirse complacido. Principalmente lo utilizan personas inseguras que sienten la necesidad de socavar los sentimientos de las personas hasta el punto de que es absolutamente insoportable y se deben tomar medidas. El abuso emocional no es una broma. La gente dice que no es abuso porque no se está haciendo daño físico, pero eso no es cierto en absoluto. En caso de que no lo hayas conocido antes, las palabras de hecho duelen, y también dejan marcas dentro de nuestros cerebros ”.

Abuso verbal: "Abuso verbal es el uso de palabras para atacar o herir a un individuo, para hacer que uno crea una declaración falsa o para hablar falsamente de un individuo".

Abuso económico: “El abuso económico es una forma de abuso cuando una pareja íntima tiene control sobre el acceso de la otra pareja a los recursos económicos, [1] lo que disminuye la capacidad de la víctima para sostenerse y lo obliga a depender del perpetrador financialmente."

Crueldad psicológica: la destrucción sistemática de la autoestima, la autoimagen, el bienestar psicológico, la reputación o las habilidades cognitivas de una persona, generalmente mediante el uso de violencia, intimidación, coerción o abuso verbal.

Apoyo social: “El apoyo social es la percepción y la actualidad de que uno se cuida, tiene asistencia disponible de otras personas y que forma parte de una red social de apoyo. Estos recursos de apoyo pueden ser emocionales (p. Ej., Cuidados), tangibles (p. Ej., Asistencia financiera), informativos (p. Ej., Asesoramiento) o compañía (p. Ej., Sentido de pertenencia) e intangibles (p. Ej., Asesoramiento personal) ".

Rendición de cuentas: "El estado de rendir cuentas, ser responsable o responder". O "" Una elección personal para superar las circunstancias y demostrar la propiedad necesaria para lograr los resultados deseados: verlo, poseerlo, resolverlo y hacerlo. " Esta definición incluye una mentalidad o actitud de preguntar continuamente: "¿Qué más puedo hacer para superar mis circunstancias y lograr los resultados que deseo?" Requiere un nivel de propiedad que incluye hacer, mantener y responder a los compromisos personales ".

Prevención: "El acto o práctica de evitar que algo malo suceda: el acto de prevenir algo".

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 (Haga clic en este enlace para completar 

su plan de cambio personal)   

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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

(First Posted, 7/6/2020)

Sources: Some Definitions from online sources including: Merriam Webster Dictionary, the Legal Dictionary, Ladybug Books, The Urban Dictionary,  Ask.com, Wikipedia, and ASME.

 (c. 2020, William T. Beverly, Ph.D., LCSW, All information on the Blog (Except where otherwise noted); are the intellectual and/or photographic and/or digital property of Dr. William T. Beverly, L.C.S.W., DVOMB Approved Offender Treatment Provider.).

Domestic Violence Reportedly More Prevalent During CORONA-Virus / COVID-19 Shutdowns

  Many Suspected this would happen when communities throughout the World commenced their compulsory shut downs due to CORONA-Virus COVID-19.  
  Now it is upon us; What will we do now to make things right?

FOX News Article: Domestic violence More Prevalent During Covid-19 Shutdowns

DV "On the Rise" per the WHO (World Health Organization" during COVID-19 Lockdowns

   This article states: "Though data are scarce, countries are reporting up to a 60% increase for April, compared to the same month last year, in emergency calls by women who are subjected to violence from their intimate partners, Kluge said. Online queries to hotlines have increased up to five times, he added."
DV "On the Rise" during COVID-19 Lockdowns

One Terrible, albeit NOT Intended Outcome of Stay-At-Home Orders:

  A number of Domestic Violence Victim Advocates have predicted a possible rise in Family Violence during the time period when almost all people in certain countries were compelled to remain in their homes while the CORONA-Virus, COVID-19 slithered and wound it's way through modern Civilization.  

  As predicted, I have heard from both Emergency Room Doctors and DV Victim Advocates that these horrific  nightmares have unfortunately come true for way too many innocent adult victims as well as children during this time period.  

  Below is a story of such nightmares.  Please be fore-warned that the attached article and images might be disturbing to some people.  Click with care.

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/fabulous/5542996/coronavirus-domestic-violence-lockdown/

Helpful Links / CORONAVIRUS COVID-19 & Domestic Violence

CORONAVIRUS COVID-19 Self-Checker and other Symptom Info: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/symptoms-testing/index.html#cdc-chat-bot-open

White House Press Briefing regarding Covid-19; May 28, 2020.

White House Corona Virus Press Briefing, May 1st, 2020

Governor Polis signs additional Executive Order Regarding Covid-19.

Colorado Governor's Update regarding CORONA-VIRUS COVID-19: Colorado Governor's Safer-At-Home Order

Colorado Governor's Latest Info Regarding COVID-19.

Contact Numbers for COVID-19 Questions.

Colorado Governor's Stay-At-Home Order to Colorado's New Safer-At-Home Order:  https://www.5280.com/2020/04/from-stay-at-home-to-safer-at-home-colorado-enters-phase-two-of-coronavirus-response/

San Luis Valley Health Regarding CORONAVIRUS, COVID 19:  https://www.sanluisvalleyhealth.org/coronavirus-faq/

CORONAVIRUS and Travel by CDC: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/travelers/travel-in-the-us.html

CORONAVIRUS Case Data:  https://covid19.colorado.gov/data/case-data

CORONAVIRUS Travel Alerts for Las Animas and Huerfano Counties
https://www.koaa.com/news/coronavirus/las-animas-and-huerfano-counties-health-department-orders-self-quarantine-following-travel

3rd Judicial District Home Page: https://www.courts.state.co.us/Courts/District/Index.cfm?District_ID=3

12th Judicial District Home Page: https://www.courts.state.co.us/Courts/District/Index.cfm?District_ID=12

2020 Stimulus Checks / Economic Impact Payment Information per IRS:  https://www.irs.gov/newsroom/economic-impact-payments-what-you-need-to-know

Filing an Unemployment Claim:  https://www.colorado.gov/pacific/cdle/start-a-claim

National Domestic Violence Hotline:   https://www.thehotline.org/help/

San Luis Valley Victim Advocates / Tu Casa:  http://www.slvtucasa.net/

Trinidad & Walsenburg Victim Advocates / Advocates Against Domestic Assault (AADA):  https://www.domesticshelters.org/help/co/trinidad/81082/advocates-against-domestic-assault

Are You Ready To Quit Smoking? Call the Colorado QuitLine! 

NEED A JOB???  CHECK OUT THESE LISTINGS:

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Alamosa:  https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=Southern+Colorado+Jobs&l=Alamosa%2C+CO

Alamosa County: https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=Southern+Colorado+Jobs&l=Alamosa+County%2C+CO

Monte Vista:
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San Luis Valley:  https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=Southern+Colorado+Jobs&l=San+Luis+Valley%2C+CO

Walsenburg: https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=Southern+Colorado+Jobs&l=Walsenburg%2C+CO

Trinidad: https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=Southern+Colorado+Jobs&l=trinidad%2C+CO

Raton: https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=Southern+Colorado+Jobs&l=Raton%2C+NM

Pueblo: https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=Southern+Colorado+Jobs&l=Pueblo%2C+CO

Something for Domestic Violence Victims, Survivors and Perpetrators to Ponder during this Difficult Time.

  If you are at risk of being victimized; or if you are at risk of committing DV during this time of Social Distancing and Stay-At-Home Orders; you really need to THINK NOW and pull together your personal resources so that you are no longer at risk of this.
  For Potential Perpetrators of DV, you might want to think very carefully about what your next steps are going to be.  Are you at Risk of Committing DV at this point in your life?  Look up the basic Risk Factors for DV such as:
  -- Have you done it before?
  -- Do you use Drugs (including Marijuana) or Alcohol?
  -- Do you have Untreated Mental Health Issues that sometimes find you being violent to others?
  -- Are you feeling Suicidal or Homicidal?
  -- Have you used weapons against other people in the past?
  -- Have you ever been abusive in front of children?
  -- Have you ever abused a woman when she was pregnant?
  -- Are you obsessed with your partner or Ex-partner?
  -- Do you have a history of criminal behavior or thinking with a lack of remorse or accountability or empathy for those who have been hurt by your actions?
  -- Have you ever tried to choke or strangle another person?
  -- Have you ever tried to force someone to have sex with you?
  -- Have you had violence (verbal or physical) with your partner's family?
  -- Do you have a history of Child Abuse or Neglect?
  -- Do you believe that Violence in your home or with people close to you is sometimes a "necessary option".
  -- Have you and your partner separated and/or gotten back together within the past month?
  -- Are you a jealous person?
  -- Do you believe that your partner is "cheating" on you?
  -- Are you unemployed?
  -- Do you have currently close friends or associates who believe in violent or criminal behavior?
  These are all Risk Factors for Domestic Violence according to the Domestic Violence Risk Needs Assessment (Colorado DVOMB).
  If you are At RISK for committing Domestic Violence during this time period of isolating at home with your family, PLEASE call for HELP RIGHT NOW!  I implore you!  I cannot ask you more strongly than that.  The National Domestic Violence Helpline offers specialized supports for potential abusers -- even if you have already committed abuse.  If you are one of these people pay attention.  They wrote, "If you’re questioning your own behavior at all, or if someone else has brought it to your attention, acknowledging it is a step in the right direction. Give us a call today at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or chat online with us to start the conversation."
  For potential Victims of DV, unfortunately, you might have an easier time if you stay with a family member or a supportive friend during this time.  Or even call a DV Shelter, a Church, or another type of Charity who can help you move out to a SAFE PLACE for the time being.
  Meanwhile, if you are a parent, child, brother, sister, friend, abuser or victim of abuse, please call for help.  Life does not have to be this way.  Even during the CORONA Virus / COVID-19 Crisis, every American has a Right to be safe and free of bullying, neglect, harassment, molestation, coercion, manipulation, and assault
  For further reading on this topic, follow this link:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2020/03/18/coronavirus-domestic-violence-shelters-prepare-hotlines-open/5067349002/